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AnALightbulb Offline
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How to overcome? - March 5th 2012, 09:51 PM

So a few days ago, I scratched myself pretty badly in an attempt to get a much needed release. I haven't actually cut, but that was the first time I self-harmed. I just can't get it off my mind. Like it bothers me. How do I move on? I'm so overcome by guilt and shame and I know I can never forget about it. There won't be any scars on my arm, but there will be one there for the rest of my life in my eyes. What can I do?
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Re: How to overcome? - March 5th 2012, 11:01 PM

Hey. I'm glad it was the first. That means you aren't addicted. But to get over, I say it'll take time. Distract yourself, to not think about it. When you do think about it, remind yourself that you'll be ok, and you CAN forget it.

Hope I helped?

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Re: How to overcome? - March 5th 2012, 11:04 PM

Hey! First of all, let me just welcome you to TeenHelp. I'm really glad that you joined the site and that you realize that this is a safe and healthy environment to talk about whatever may be going on in your life.

Second of all, let me just tell you that the guilt is not just something that you go through. All self-harmers feel that guilt at one point after they self harm. I did it for years, and there was never a time that I didn't feel guilty about it later on. The important thing to realize though is that the guilt is actually healthy for you. That guilt that you're feelings tells yourself that you KNOW you don't deserve what you've done to yourself. Even if it wasn't cutting, you still broke skin by scratching yourself, and that's definitely still self-harm. But it's good that you know that you don't deserve what you did. Keep that in mind next time you need a release of some sort. Self-harming yourself in not the right way to do it. In the top of this forum, we have soo many alternatives that are really good to try when you're frustrated and want a release of the emotions that you're feeling. I've found a few of them that work really well for me.

Don't dwell on the fact that you self-harmed, but focus on the fact that you know you don't deserve that, and that you deserve so much better. With or without scars, self-harm is so dangerous, and no one should be put through that kind of pain.

Please try the alternatives and hopefully you'll find some that work for you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always open for you to message or e-mail.
Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

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Re: How to overcome? - March 5th 2012, 11:38 PM

Guilt gets a bad rap these days b/c it's just so widely over used, usually to justify some misdeed. It's a bit of a personal con game, a cliche...you know..do something, then feel guilty, punish yourself, and move on, often back to the same stuff.

But, properly used, guilt can keep you safely between the lines IF it comes from true recognition of the consequences of one's actions. It's a way of not going there again, a deterrent, a seat belt. So, I say feel some guilt here, you drove a bit into the weeds there, but now you've righted yourself.

Figure out how the car left the road, and then take the necessary actions to make sure those feelings don't bottle up again like that.
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