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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 01:38 AM

Ok, so I really really really wanna hurt myself (preferably cut, because that's all I ever did before) and normally I would tell this to my friend who would make me feel better. But, she said anytime I ever tell her that I even feel like hurting myself, she's gonna email my mom and not listen to it anymore. But telling her (as awful as it may seem) made me feel better. Now I have the feeling again and I don't know how to get rid of it. And because she actually mentioned it to my mom once, my parents are on the alert. So i can't actually cut or I'll be dead meat...So what do I do?

PS: I completely with all my heart understand that hurting yourself solves nothing and is totally wrong, but when I get in these moods, I just can't shake the--craving per say.


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~St. Clement of Alexandra
   
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Re: Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 01:51 AM

I think you should try distracting yourself from the craving of wanting to cut. You can use alternatives, talk to your parents so that they can get you help for these moods that cause you to want to self harm or find another adult or person to talk to about this.
Is there any particular reason why you do not want to tell your parents about your self harm? How did they react when your friend told them before?
If they seemed upset, worried or angry, that is only because they care about you and want the best for you. You are their child and when you hurt yourself, they cannot make the connection as to why you would do that and may worry that it has something to do with their parenting. Whatever the case, getting support from them, or a counselor (at school or not at school) is a really helpful way to start changing how you cope.
I hope I've helped, you can send me a PM or VM if you ever need anything or just want to talk.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Total Light Storm View Post
I think you should try distracting yourself from the craving of wanting to cut. You can use alternatives, talk to your parents so that they can get you help for these moods that cause you to want to self harm or find another adult or person to talk to about this.
Is there any particular reason why you do not want to tell your parents about your self harm? How did they react when your friend told them before?
If they seemed upset, worried or angry, that is only because they care about you and want the best for you. You are their child and when you hurt yourself, they cannot make the connection as to why you would do that and may worry that it has something to do with their parenting. Whatever the case, getting support from them, or a counselor (at school or not at school) is a really helpful way to start changing how you cope.
I hope I've helped, you can send me a PM or VM if you ever need anything or just want to talk.
Well, I was always afraid to tell my parents about my depression or any of that, like deathly afraid. Once (because I was made to) I told my mom I thought I had depression and she basically said that I didn't and that doctors wouldnt do anything about it anyway except put me on drugs. And when she was told by my friend that I had depression, she told her that the only reason I acted like this was because I didn't do anything with myself. (like wear make up)


If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
~St. Clement of Alexandra
   
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Philomath Offline
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Re: Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 03:25 AM

Hmmm, maybe you can try printing out information for her about how doctors can help with depression without giving you drugs? Therapy is a common and very helpful way of dealing with depression and would be a great place for you to learn how to cope with situations and stop self harm.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 02:45 PM

Eff your friend. I'm sorry, but if she doesn't want to "listen to it anymore", than she's not a real good friend, is she? Friends are supposed to love and support one another. Loyalty is paramount. I could understand if she did it out of worry for you, but not because she wanted to shift the confidant responsibility onto your parents.
That being said, maybe you should try something I do; exhaust yourself. I mean, go for a run, then do a a bunch of sit ups. Do whatever, but make yourself really, really tired. When I do this, I'm too tired to think of feel most of my anxiety/depression. Better yet, if this is in the evening, I'm out like a light and I have no dreams (or nightmares). Distraction is key when it comes to cutting, so maybe try this
   
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Re: Want but can't - March 11th 2012, 06:12 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry that this is happening. Could you ask your friend why she would e-mail your mom if you talk to her about it? It's possible she doesn't quite understand what is going on? If that's the case then maybe explain to her that when you get urges just talking to her helps. She's probably concerned about you, hence why she's threatening to tell your mom.

I'm sorry that your mom doesn't seem to listen to you about how you feel. Could you possibly talk to a teacher or school counselor who could understand and then talk to your mom for you? Sometimes adults are more likely to listen to other adults about these these kinds of things!

I really hope you don't end up hurting yourself and you get the help that you need to get through this! If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM! (:


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
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you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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