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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Dawifihacker Offline
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y do u do it?????????? - March 12th 2012, 08:08 PM

y do u all cut urselfs???
lyk that hurts and it leaves you with big ugly scars and its just going to make u feel worse so y do u do it?????
no offense or nothin im just wondering

Last edited by *Jen*; March 12th 2012 at 09:00 PM. Reason: Removed content that could be offensive
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 12th 2012, 08:24 PM

I have an honest response, as someone who has been self-injuring since they were 14 and am now 22. For me there have been many different reasons for different situations, as to why I began doing it the first time, I have literally no idea.

One of my reasons for doing it is to feel something, because sometimes there is so much built up inside that screaming can't get it out, I can't cry, and all I can do is pace around, feeling an itch under my skin and my head throbs, so I occasionally cut myself to make that go away, to release the tension that I feel that I can't seem to get out any other way.
I have also previously cut myself as a means of punishment for a situation. whether I feel I deserve it or the other person in the situation does, on the one hand I'm hurting myself and taking out the rage on myself instead of them, and on the other hand I'm punishing myself for some crime i feel I've committed to the other person, and when sorry doesn't feel like enough, even if they say it's okay, it feels like a sort of sick self-justice.

Anyways, those are my reasons, I'm sure everyone who has engaged in this behaviors has their own reasons why, but I can honestly say that in my experience it has never made me "feel worse" which I guess is why this behavior can become addictive. It is easier for some to delegate their problems to pain, instead of dealing with them head-on.

Also, this site's purpose is not to get a group of "emo's" together to hurt themselves or whine, this site is an open forum where people may either vent, seek help/advice from others, or just read up on other people's situations whether to help them not feel alone, or for as an outsider trying to understand what people go through.
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 12th 2012, 08:25 PM

This site is for people going through the same things or recovered from the same things to help eachother. That's quite immature calling us all "Emo Freaks". It's a way of coping for some people, for others it can be self punishment. You really shouldn't come on sites judging people and offending them the way you've just offended me and probably others with the way you've worded your post.


Forgive and forget. Forget you ever existed, and forgive myself for being so fucking stupid.
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 12th 2012, 08:25 PM

I actually think you just supposed to be mean when you wrote this, it's pretty obvious. No, we don't all cut on teen help, but some of us do. And "Emo" is a music genre, not a name on people that cut themselves.
Everyone cuts for different reasons, but mostly to reveal pain. It maybe sounds stupid, but it does. And even if we want to stop its really hard, since it's like, addictive. like alcohol.
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 05:38 PM

Hey there

For someone who has never been through Self Harm, it is very difficult to understand us. But please, at least try understanding it. I don't expect you to understand us completely, but give it a try.

I have always had trouble understanding my feelings. So I googled Self Harm to understand why I am doing it. And there is loads of useful information on Google. I am going to give you some.

Quote:
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is a way of expressing very deep distress. Often, people don't know why they self-harm. It's a means of communicating what can't be put into words or even into thoughts and has been described as an inner scream. Afterwards, people feel better able to cope with life again, for a while.

These responses may help someone to cope with feelings that threaten to overwhelm them; painful emotions, such as rage, sadness, emptiness, grief, self-hatred, fear, loneliness and guilt. These can be released through the body, where they can be seen and dealt with. Self-harm may serve a number of purposes at the same time. It may be a way of getting the pain out, of being distracted from it, of communicating feelings to somebody else, and of finding comfort. It can also be a means of self-punishment or an attempt to gain some control over life. Because they may feel ashamed, afraid, or worried about other peopleís reactions, people who self-harm often conceal what they are doing rather than draw attention to it.

It's worth remembering that most people behave self-destructively at times, even if they don't realise it. Perfectly ordinary behaviour, such as smoking, eating and drinking too much, or working long hours, day after day, can all be helping people to numb or distract themselves and avoid being alone with their thoughts and feelings.


Why do people harm themselves?
A person who self-harms is likely to have gone through very difficult, painful experiences as a child or young adult. At the time, they probably had no one they could confide in, so didn't receive the support and the emotional outlet they needed to deal with it. The experience might have involved physical violence, emotional abuse, or sexual abuse. They might have been neglected, separated from someone they loved, been bullied, harassed, assaulted, isolated, put under intolerable pressure, made homeless, sent into care, into hospital or to other institutions.

What can I do if I know someone who self-harms?

-Listen to them without being critical. This can be very hard if you're upset or angry, but try to focus on them rather than your feelings.

-Try to understand their feelings, and then move the conversation to other things.

-Take the mystery out of self-harm by helping them find out more on the internet or at the library.

-Help them to think about their self-harm not as a shameful secret, but as a problem to be sorted out.

Myths and Facts

elf-harm is often perceived as attention seeking and manipulative. This is not the case! It is a sign of emotional distress and the stigmas quite often attached can be harmful and counter productive: they can prevent people from seeking the help that they need. Here is a list of myths and the FACTS to dispel them.

Myth: Self-harm means cutting...
FACT: Self-harm is a continuum of behaviour ranging from self-neglect to very severe behaviours such as eating disorders or drug abuse

Myth: People who self-harm are attempting suicide...

FACT: Self-harm is a coping strategy; a way of dealing with emotional turmoil. It is not an attempt to escape it through suicide.

Myth: People who self-harm are attention seeking and manipulative...

FACT: Self-harming is usually carried out in secret and wounding and scarring are kept hidden. By the time it comes to the attention of others, it has often been happening for a long time. The fact that most self-harmers only seek help once they can no longer keep their activities secret is evidence that this statement is simply untrue.


Myth: Not many people self-harm...

FACT: As self-harm is often kept secret, figures do not always give the full picture. At least one in ten adolescents self-harm.

Myth: Only young people self-harm...

FACT: Self-harm knows NO cultural, class, educational or social boundaries. Anyone may self-harm.

Myth: Only women self-harm...

FACT: The reported incidence of male self-harm is rising.

Myth: It is best to ignore self-harm...

FACT: Self-harmers NEED help and attention. Ignoring the behaviour could make matters worse by convincing the self-harmer they have no other options.

Myth: People who self-harm have been abused...

FACT: Not all self-harmers have been abused. Not all those that have been abused self-harm.

Myth: If the wounds arenít bad, itís not that serious.
Fact: The severity of a personís wounds has very little to do with how much he or she may be suffering. Donít assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, thereís nothing to worry about.
I am sorry that this is a very long post. But really, it is all very basic information about self harm. Especially for someone who has never personally been through it. Please spend some times reading it and trying to understand it.

Here are the links that I used. You can read more if you want. It will help you to understand us better and help the people around you who self harm, if you're up for it that is.-
http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/factsht.html
http://www.safa-selfharm.com/M%20&%20F.html
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnose...ions/self-harm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotiona...selfharm.shtml

If you have any more questions. Feel free to ask. I'd be happy to answer them



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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 06:18 PM

Hey there,

I think everyone has their own reason for Self Harming and it could be anything, from wanting to feel the pain, to using it as a coping mechanism.
Childish Giggle has given you some really useful information there which will hopefully help you to understand it a bit better.

If you ever have any questions or want to talk feel free to PM me,
Take care,
Charli


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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 06:32 PM

Childish Giggle got it down perfectly. It is incredibly difficult for someone who isn't in our position to understand why we do self harm, I know that myself. Before I started cutting, my friend self harmed, and I didn't understand at all. It seemed stupid, and that there was no benefit. But now I'm on the other side, I self harm, and it's hard to explain why. I don't think you can truly understand until you've been there yourself.
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 08:43 PM

i do more than just cut, and i've never really cut that bad (despite the fact that all cutting isn't good blahblahblah) It can help though...the first time it barely helped me though... i mean it did and i lied to everyone that found out saying it didn't at all what so every but it did a little. there's a few times when i break down and SH
1. when my mind is cloudy and i just can't shake it no matter what - i hate not being able to think straight
2. When I feel like i've done something really wrong, i just feel terrible and like i deserve to die or something so instead of actually killing myself over it i scratch, burn, cut, stab stuff like that
3. when i'm just so numb i have to feel something...there has to be more than just numbness because when it first comes it's welcome, after a while though it gets old and it bugs me


   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 09:01 PM

I think everyone has their own reasons for self-harming. It's not something that's easily explained to someone who doesn't do it themselves. I dunno. You'll never really understand it until you're in that position. I really hope you never get there.


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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 09:17 PM

Unless you've ever done it yourself, you will never be able to understand why we do it.
There will be things you do that I can't understand, but that's just how people are.
We all cope with things differently, one persons self harm will be totally different to another's.
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 18th 2012, 10:39 PM

we self harm for the same reason that some people binge drink or take drugs when things get tough.
I personally cut, burn myself, overdose and hit myself with objects such as hammers. I get many different things out of self harm. The main one is that it instantly calms me down from whatever emotion has been overwhelming me (anger, fear, sadness etc), I also have low self esteem and often feel that I need to be punished if I do something bad so I will self harm to punish myself. Part of it is anger at myself - I hate myself, so I hurt myself to express that, although I hide alltraces of self harm so nobody sees it. I also have frequent suicidal urges and self harm helps me to not kill myself.
It's different for everyone though.
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 19th 2012, 04:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawifihacker View Post
y do u all cut urselfs???
lyk that hurts and it leaves you with big ugly scars and its just going to make u feel worse so y do u do it?????
no offense or nothin im just wondering
Because I hate myself. I hate who I am, how I look, and what I do. I hate everything about myself. So I hurt myself because I'm so ashamed of myself. The pain feels good.


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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 20th 2012, 09:24 PM

Howdi ,

Everyone has there own reasons . And i cant explain it to you why we do it , because you just wouldn't understand .


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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 20th 2012, 09:32 PM

Everybody has their own reason, I did it for coping and to calm me down because I felt like I was hurting everybody around me


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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 20th 2012, 09:42 PM

Childish Giggle has it right. But please don't judge us or speak so insulingly about or addictions. My mother and some otherpeople call ms emo even tho I don't consider myself emo at all. I like rock and grunge and hard rock. As said above emo is a type of music and shouldn't be used in a negative or degrading way by saying all emo people cut or that all people who cut are emo. I know for me one of the many reasons I cut and pull out my hair is because I feel like a freak like nobody understands me. Like I could be in a crowded room but still feel alone because I feel depressed and empty and like nobody cares about me. Like others I also get angry at myself and want to punish myself (that's how the whole addiction started for me). If you would like to make people who self harm feel better please don't say offensive things about us because judging and feeling hated is often a trigger for people to harm themselves. Also we aren't proud of our addiction and will try to hide it at all costs. If you have any other questions or need to talk please feel free to PM me.
~SM~
   
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Re: y do u do it?????????? - March 20th 2012, 10:08 PM

I used to be a big self harmer, but today I can thankfully say I am in recovery, and have gone seven months without so much as a scratch. I am very proud of myself and very happy. I've done something I thought I could never do, and that is be healthy. My life has gotten so much better since I gave it up.

But when I did used to cut, it was because I was really troubled. I first did it because I felt I could no longer handle my emotions. They threatened to overwhelm me in times of distress. That's bad in and of itself, but the real problem is that distress would sometimes go on for days. That's pretty much what all of it stemmed from. Whether it was a fight I had with a boyfriend, feeling upset about how I handled a situation, loathing myself for xyz, distressed about problems with my parents, caught in the throes of depression...whatever it was, I always did it to avoid feeling something. Temporarily, I would forget, and when I realized it wasn't helping, I still kept at it, because I made that my only coping skill. I had to replace it with others and work on myself before I could step away from that behavior. But I am glad I did.



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