TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mixtape91 Offline
Falling Up
Average Joe
***
 
Mixtape91's Avatar
 
Name: Hannah
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Texas

Posts: 176
Join Date: March 19th 2009

Question Old Scars & Confrontation - March 13th 2012, 02:46 PM

2 weeks ago I was confronted about my old scars. I'm in college now & it has been almost 3 years since the last time time any one has ever asked about them. I moved & had the notion that I left my old life behind. My cutting used to be really bad. I tried for a long time to get rid of them. I used to be REALLY self conscious about them. I thought they weren't all to bad anymore. They are all up & down both my forearms & I only have like 2 ugly ones & unless you get really close I honestly believed the others weren't noticeable (looking in the mirror, I didn't see them). It took me along time to stop trying to cover them up. For most part, I had stopped thinking twice about wearing short sleeves & exposing my arms. I used to worry about what people would say if they saw or asked but its been 3 years.. no ones ever asked, I just assumed it wasn't that big of deal anymore.

I guess I got way to over confident. I'm realizing now that taking Sign Language as my foreign language requirement was a stupid idea. I'm tutored through a program where I have an academic counselor & a tutor that I meet w/ 3 times a week (hence, tutored in sign language). My tutor noticed & went to the counselor. Before she confronted me she asked me how I was liking sign language & if I thought about ever taking any other language. When she proceeded to ask me about the scars I panicked. She put me in a position where I had to explain myself & made me feel like I had to apologize & reassure her I wasn't still doing it. The last thing I needed was a lecture. It didn't help that she was suggesting to me to think about taking a different foreign language.

Now things are so awkward with me tutor. She has never said one word to me about it. What am I supposed to do? Acknowledge it & bring it up? Ignore it? Apologize for "disturbing" her? I feel like I'm supposed to be wearing long sleeves & jackets again. I've become so self conscious about my arms again. Now I worry about what other must see.. What am I to do?!!

This isn't something I wouldn't ever tell or ask my friends about. So please, someone, tell me what I should do.. I'm lost, I don't know what to think anymore..




“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”

- Edgar Allen Poe


The only truth is change, have patience
  Send a message via AIM to Mixtape91  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
xxprincessxx Offline
Member
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
xxprincessxx's Avatar
 
Name: Sammie
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Posts: 488
Join Date: March 7th 2010

Re: Old Scars & Confrontation - March 13th 2012, 03:07 PM

Hey,

I really would try not to worry about it to much. Don't resort back to wearing long sleeves and trying to hide your scars again, I know how hard that can be. I know it's hard, but I just stopped caring if people noticed my scars or not, to me it tells a story of survival and if somebody asks about it, yeah for that moment it's a little awkward but after explaining it or whatever I realize it's not that big of a deal and it's actually pretty cool to talk about. So, maybe try and see your scars in a positive light.

As for your tutor, I suggest just ignoring it and acting like it didn't happen, unless it's bothering you, in that case bring it up. She was probably concerned which is why she told your academic counselor.

Also, if you enjoy sign language don't take another language just because your counselor suggested you do so, I think that was fairly unproffessional of her to ask that of you and she should have been more understanding about it.

Best of luck to you!


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Sadandlonely_OG Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Sadandlonely_OG's Avatar
 
Name: Rocio
Age: 30
Gender: Female

Posts: 9
Join Date: March 21st 2012

Re: Old Scars & Confrontation - March 23rd 2012, 05:21 PM

Scars don't go away. They fade but rarely disappear.

Address the issue with your tutor if it bothers your and/or it's awkward. Let her know they are part of your past and that she doesn't have to worry about new ones.

The counselor was wrong for confronting you and making you feel as if you had to apologize. SH is how you survived when you didn't know better.

Disregard the counselor. Address the issue with your tutor if you can't move past it.

Don't worry too much about scars and what people think. You have gone through more than most and came through it all. You're still here. You hung in there and are study/working toward a greater future. Your scars are battle scars, a battle your winning. Be proud.

You never know if a cutter notices your scars and thinks- If they can stop and get better so can I.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
confrontation, scars

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.