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Mixtape91 Offline
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Question Old Scars & Confrontation - March 13th 2012, 02:46 PM

2 weeks ago I was confronted about my old scars. I'm in college now & it has been almost 3 years since the last time time any one has ever asked about them. I moved & had the notion that I left my old life behind. My cutting used to be really bad. I tried for a long time to get rid of them. I used to be REALLY self conscious about them. I thought they weren't all to bad anymore. They are all up & down both my forearms & I only have like 2 ugly ones & unless you get really close I honestly believed the others weren't noticeable (looking in the mirror, I didn't see them). It took me along time to stop trying to cover them up. For most part, I had stopped thinking twice about wearing short sleeves & exposing my arms. I used to worry about what people would say if they saw or asked but its been 3 years.. no ones ever asked, I just assumed it wasn't that big of deal anymore.

I guess I got way to over confident. I'm realizing now that taking Sign Language as my foreign language requirement was a stupid idea. I'm tutored through a program where I have an academic counselor & a tutor that I meet w/ 3 times a week (hence, tutored in sign language). My tutor noticed & went to the counselor. Before she confronted me she asked me how I was liking sign language & if I thought about ever taking any other language. When she proceeded to ask me about the scars I panicked. She put me in a position where I had to explain myself & made me feel like I had to apologize & reassure her I wasn't still doing it. The last thing I needed was a lecture. It didn't help that she was suggesting to me to think about taking a different foreign language.

Now things are so awkward with me tutor. She has never said one word to me about it. What am I supposed to do? Acknowledge it & bring it up? Ignore it? Apologize for "disturbing" her? I feel like I'm supposed to be wearing long sleeves & jackets again. I've become so self conscious about my arms again. Now I worry about what other must see.. What am I to do?!!

This isn't something I wouldn't ever tell or ask my friends about. So please, someone, tell me what I should do.. I'm lost, I don't know what to think anymore..

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”

- Edgar Allen Poe

The only truth is change, have patience
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Re: Old Scars & Confrontation - March 13th 2012, 03:07 PM


I really would try not to worry about it to much. Don't resort back to wearing long sleeves and trying to hide your scars again, I know how hard that can be. I know it's hard, but I just stopped caring if people noticed my scars or not, to me it tells a story of survival and if somebody asks about it, yeah for that moment it's a little awkward but after explaining it or whatever I realize it's not that big of a deal and it's actually pretty cool to talk about. So, maybe try and see your scars in a positive light.

As for your tutor, I suggest just ignoring it and acting like it didn't happen, unless it's bothering you, in that case bring it up. She was probably concerned which is why she told your academic counselor.

Also, if you enjoy sign language don't take another language just because your counselor suggested you do so, I think that was fairly unproffessional of her to ask that of you and she should have been more understanding about it.

Best of luck to you!

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Re: Old Scars & Confrontation - March 23rd 2012, 05:21 PM

Scars don't go away. They fade but rarely disappear.

Address the issue with your tutor if it bothers your and/or it's awkward. Let her know they are part of your past and that she doesn't have to worry about new ones.

The counselor was wrong for confronting you and making you feel as if you had to apologize. SH is how you survived when you didn't know better.

Disregard the counselor. Address the issue with your tutor if you can't move past it.

Don't worry too much about scars and what people think. You have gone through more than most and came through it all. You're still here. You hung in there and are study/working toward a greater future. Your scars are battle scars, a battle your winning. Be proud.

You never know if a cutter notices your scars and thinks- If they can stop and get better so can I.
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