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SM13 Offline
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Exclamation Knives knots and ropes - March 21st 2012, 03:59 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Lately ive been very into learning how to tie a hangmans knot and noose. It makes me happy thinking about it but it also frightens me. Is this messed up? Do you think it is making my depression and self harm and suicide urges worse? Should I stop doing this? I've been so depressed lately and haven't been able to cut lately because I'm trying to quit. I just can't handle this anymore.

(I posted this in depression and suicide but got no response so thought that I put it in the wrong spot so I put it here)

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Re: Knives knots and ropes - March 22nd 2012, 03:00 PM

Hey there

Why does it make you happy? Is it because you want to use it? If that is the case then I think that yes, you need to stop. Or something else that you can do is divert it towards something creative. Do some more knots using Scooby strings and make pretty designs with them!

But at the same time, give attention to the reason for these suicidal thoughts. They need to be resolved first. Have you been talking to a professional about this? If not, then I'll recommend that you do that. They can guide you a lot. Till you start talking to one, make sure that you express how you feels. Maybe by writing down how you feel. Writing down can help you see things more clearly and clear the confusion created by your thoughts in your head.

Please keep trying out the alternatives. You will have to find an alternative that works for you through trial and error. Don't be disheartened if something doesn't work. There are many more alternatives, something else will definitely work for you.

If you need to talk, you can PM/VM me anytime.
Take care and stay strong



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-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
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Re: Knives knots and ropes - March 23rd 2012, 01:29 PM

Only you know if it makes you feel worse. I used to find that keeping my hands busy would make feel better. I personally used to shuffle cards; it kept my hands busy and made me a few bucks on the bus ride home.

Its great that you are trying to quit.*applause* Cutting is something that you will have to face day by day, but it does get easier. I'm aware that you don't know me and I am just some stranger on a message board, but it does get easier.

What other ways of coping have you tried?
   
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Re: Knives knots and ropes - March 24th 2012, 05:37 AM

It makes me happy to fantasize about offing myself. It isn't the tying that makesme happy, but rather the possibilities I have once I do tie it. I know im a freak and disturbing I've beenseeing a psychologist for a few months about my depression and self harm but I just can't tell her about wanting to kill myself. Daddy said that if Im not happy and better by the time I go to college then he won't let me go
   
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Re: Knives knots and ropes - March 26th 2012, 03:28 PM

What are the possibilities after you tie them, other than the obvious?

Talk to your therapist; if you can't find the words then write it down and let them read it.

Your Dad is right to not want to let you go.

Don't leave to college if you are not mentally well. If you don't have the drive and focus at school. You will do really bad academically, which will make you even more depressed. Which will make you do even worse, mix that in with all drugs and shady people at college. You could end up in a sticky situation.

Not to mention someone has to pay for school, so it makes sense that when you do go you give it 200%.
   
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Re: Knives knots and ropes - March 26th 2012, 04:55 PM

I agree, you need to talk to your therapist about this. They are not there to judge or make fun of you but to help you get better. Also, the only reason your dad said that is to protect you, he doesn't want anything happening to you while your out of his site. Stay strong and try talk to your therapist about it. Once you talk about it, you'll feela weight off your shoulder and you will feel even better.


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