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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
dipka Offline
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Advice please.. - March 24th 2012, 06:31 PM

Hello Everyone.

It first started 5 weeks ago when I created a new cut on my arm. I know that It's ok for me to SH at the moment (I've had a Professional tell me this. Everyone knows it's not ideal but that person who told me knows their is a LOT going on for me now, and if I don't SH it will lead to worse things.) but when I do I have to go to the school nurse so it can be cleaned or dressed as needed. So, I did this 5 weeks ago, and If she said go back, then I went. (I always do what she says. I hate her, but I constantly fear of getting admitted to hospital which I will do anything to avoid, so I do what she says.)

What is always a problem for me is letting a cut heal. I struggle not to cut more on the same place. In this case I have cut in the same place lots of times in the past 5 weeks. I keep going to the nurse who thinks "it's not healed yet" I don't think she realizes I have been cutting more but she might do.

On Thursday (last week) I had a swimming test for cadets, So I got a waterproof plaster on it. I was told to wash and change it when I got back and to go again on Friday. So I had a shower and changed it when I got home. And I also went to the nurse on Friday. As far as I knew their was nothing wrong. Until that is, I got home and my mum told me I had a DR's appointment at 17:15 that day. I did not know why, but I went.

When we were there, she told the DR "I have an infected arm" and I was thinking "How on earth do YOU (mum) know that? and, how did I end up here now? I already seen the nurse today-not till 2:30 though. How did all this suddenly happen" But, I had to show the DR my arm. She left to get another DR, so there was now me, my mum and 2 Dr's questioning me. I was sat there terrified and not speaking.

I ended up with antibiotics (4 times a day for 5 days. And they taste HORRIBLE!) but, I am taking them because like I said above, I'm scared I may end up in hospital. I'm just so angry now. That I did everything I have been told to and it ended up infected. What annoyed me the most is that yesterday I saw 1 nurse and 2 DR's and yet my arm was not dressed at the end of it. (I worked out that only nurses can put bandages on and only DR's can give antibiotics) So, now it has the bandage the nurse had put on but that I put back on last night. If I didn't have it covered all my bed and clothing would be covered in disgusting stuff by now. I don't have anything else to cover it with.

My problem now is, that I cannot see the nurse in school until Monday (when I am back in school) and, Well I will have to shower between now and then, and somehow survive with only 1 dressing. (she does normally give me spare ones for weekend if she thinks I need them) I'm now left in a annoying place, to me it obviously needs to be covered but I only have one dressing. I know my mum DOES know, so it may be easier to talk to her than if she didn't. But, I'm so annoyed that she knows (and want to find out who told her) that I don't want to talk to her. Or anyone else.
I don't want to have to go to any walk in/weekend/emergency clinic. I HATE new places and new people, and I HATE talking to people about my SH, so, I'd hate everything about it if I went. I just hope this median works and it's fine because I don't know what else to do

You have just read Dipka's forum post. Dipka is a HelpLINK mentor who is allays happy to help, please just let me know. Also, check out my profile for more about me
Dipka x

IMPORTANT!! When replying partiqually if I started the tread please can people read
the following thread

In that thread poast 6 clearly state's what coulors I can see best so please can you use these if possible so I can read your reply.

Some of my favourite quotations
*what does not destroy you as a warrior makes you stronger
*the tree that is slowest to grow bears the sweetest fruit
*when the sky is at it's darkest is when you can see the stars
*Ancient stone cannot be polished without friction, nor a warrior perfected without trials
*The warrior who has the ability to move mountains begins by carrying small stones

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Dr.Bobby Offline
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Re: Advice please.. - March 24th 2012, 06:57 PM

There's a lot here that's worthy of comment.

First, I cannot fathom any professional giving you permission to self harm. You might want to discuss this further with her, if only to clarify what she means here.... that she is not at all endorsing this as a coping mechanism. This might be of particular value b/c you say that you 'Always' listen to her. Maybe you need her to tell you very clearly that you shouldn't, under any circumstances, cut yourself. FWIW, I'll tell you that here: Do not under any circumstances cut yourself. Find another way to deal with the stress and the urges it causes, even of it means trying new things like talking with people about this and getting some support....and even if it means going into hospital for more intensive treatment.

Secondly, if your arm is infected and needs another plaster, then you'd need to tell your mum and have her take you somewhere to have that medically addressed. The issue isn't so much your feelings about having to do this, or how she found out, or who else might find out...it's about taking care of yourself. For whatever reason, you've gotten into the habit of seeing self harm as acceptable, and that needs to change. Your resistance to seeing (and doing) this is perhaps reinforced by the unbelievable message you're getting from your therapist about the Ok'ness of cutting yourself. Right now, you have a medical condition (an infection) that requires additional treatment. Getting that is a priority, not the emotions this might stir up.

Shift your focus here not so much on continuing this behavior and keeping it all to yourself, but to realizing that it is very dangerous and needs to stop... and in order to do that, you have to be willing to not only control yourself and those urges, but also allow others to step in and help.

Go to the doctor.

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
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dani99 Offline
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Re: Advice please.. - March 24th 2012, 06:58 PM

First of all, I don't see why a "professional" would tell you that it's ok to self harm. If your goal is to find a better place in life, then self harm is not the way to go. It actually makes any kind of depression and stress worse because it is a very negative way to cope with stress. You should be focusing on more positive ways to deal with it. I don't see how you say "If I don't SH, it will lead to worse things" because self harm can lead to worse things, such as your own death. This is not a professional, it seems, if she in condemning bodily mutation.

I can understand if she did say that it is /normal/ to believe it's ok, because it is. You have yourself convinced it's the only way to relieve stress. You need help to retrain your brain to know how to cope other ways.

You may fear being admitted to a hospital, but I believe that it may help you in the long run. A few years ago, I used to do the same thing and I didn't think anything was wrong with it. I felt like it was a way to relieve stress, but those are only temporary thoughts that are not true at all.

It's very unsafe, and infections can be dangerous especially in today's world because bacteria advances and the same medication may not work to kill it off. You need to tell your mom that you want to see a counselor or even take time during school to talk to your school counselor. I think that you should tell someone about what you're doing.

Like I said earlier, I went through the same thing and told a close friend. He ended up convincing me to talk to the counselor and she told my mom, who admitted me into a help center. Ever since then, I haven't cut and that was two years ago. I am a lot happier than I used to be, and I am a lot healthier.

It may seem scary to talk to someone, and I understand that more than anything. But think of this: it's scarier to remain depressed and it's scarier to keep tearing your body apart. I am the person who also hates new places and unfamiliar places, but in the long run it will help you. For your sake, do it.

Infection isn't the only thing you need to worry about. Cutting to deep and hitting an artery can lead to bleeding to death. You are putting both your health and life in danger. I hope you understand that I have been in the same boat and I have left that boat to be somewhere else, a much happier place. I'd like to see you in that place, too. So, if I were you, I would talk to someone and get help. It only took me a week away to get some help and now I'm self harm free for 2 years, and I don't ever feel like doing it.

Now, I'm not saying it will cure all of your problems. I am seeing a counselor still, but it's easier to stay away from self harm once you get help. If you need someone to talk to or have any further questions, I'm just a message away. I hope you're willing to take a risk to get better.

Just a girl with an angel above, just a girl with an angel to love. My angel grew wings and she did dare to fly. But I promise my angel, it's only good night but never good-bye. My angel, my angel in heaven above. My angel, my darling, you'll always have my love. Rest in peace, my sweet darling, it's only temporary that we part. My angel, my angel, how you still do steal my heart </3

Last edited by dani99; March 24th 2012 at 07:05 PM.
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