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Linds Offline
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Name: Lindsey
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Always on my mind - March 26th 2012, 06:49 PM

Burning are ALWAYS on my mind now. It's been more than a year since I've actually done either but I can't get it off of my mind! I feel like screaming! I thought it would get better if I wrote my finace(he's away for the military) and just talked about wedding plans, how school is going(finishing up college currently), work and softball, but it didn't really work. As far as he knows though I'm doing great no problems with anything at all. I've wanted to tell him but I don't want him worrying when he's nowhere near being able to come home. I know if I could just burn one time it would make me come back down to earth. I would be able to focus and think clearly. How ironic that it takes something burning to make me think clearly. Most people would say if you do thos "horrible things" you are not thinking clearly at all. I just want to be okay! I don't want to need this anymore! It's been so long but I still remember the familiar calming sensation. That sigh of relief comes so easily after i put that hot metal to my skin. Why do I want this so bad? How can I get it off of my mind? Help please.
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Re: Always on my mind - March 26th 2012, 07:43 PM

Hey, just take a moment to breath. Probably the reason you want to so badly is the stress of everything going on the moment with your life, and your fiancee being away combined. It does not make you crazy that you want to burn so badly because SH becomes an addiction as you probably know. This is also probably the hardest part for most people.You can't burn even just once now if you can avoid because without you noticing it just once could become just one more time and it can grow from there. Trust me, it does not get easier to quit SH the second and third time. Try finding something more soothing to do whenever you feel the need to burn. Try taking a bubble bath or using your favorite lotion. Try yoga or swimming, or anything that relaxes you. Have you ever thought of going to a counselor. Most colleges offer counseling services for their students. I'm not saying anything is wrong with you because nothing is, it just helps to get everything off your chest. If you don't feel comfortable with that try just talking to a friend everyonce in awhile, or writing in a journal. You would be amazed how many things you can talk yourself out of or how much sense things make when you write it all down. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I wish you luck and have faith you will do what is best for you. Your not alone in your struggles, keep that in mind. xoxo-Lexie
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Re: Always on my mind - March 27th 2012, 01:11 AM

Hi Lindsay,

First, thank your fiance for his service to our country from me.

Ok, a couple of things come to mind here. The first is to remember that thoughts and urges, no matter how strong or painful, cannot harm you. They can be uncomfortable, but they cannot hurt you. That only happens when you cross the line and start acting on them. Don't!

People harm themselves for a lot of reasons, the way to make the S/I go away is to address those reasons. You can try to do this by yourself, to think about why you do this, what made you start, etc., but it's my experience that talking with someone else..a therapist..is the best way to go. They can support you and help you understand these feelings and urges, as well as help with other ways of coping with them when they occur.

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
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