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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Tigereyes Offline
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I gave in - March 31st 2012, 01:12 PM

I doubt anyone will read or comment on this but whatever. I thought I was done with self harm. First it was scratching then it turned to cutting. Then I stopped. I went a month and a half and the urges hardly even existed. Last night, everything just went wrong. I desperately wanted to cut again, to punish myself for all the horrible things about me and to relieve some of the pain. Somehow i mannaged to resist for almost an hour. Then I couldn't take it anymore so I gave it. I'm so mad at myself. I wish I hadn't had to resort to cutting. I regret it so much.


"They don't even know you,
All they see is scars,
They don't see the angel living in your heart.
Let them find the real you buried deep within,
Let them know with all you've got
That you are not... your skin." ~Sixx: A.M.


"Maybe we'll turn it around, 'cause it's not too late; it's never too late." ~Three Days Grace

Always forgive, but never forget.
   
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Wildflower ♥ Offline
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Re: I gave in - March 31st 2012, 08:45 PM

Don't beat yourself up. Relapses happen, it's part of recovery. A month and a half is an amazing period to go without SH. Pick yourself up and try again. We are all here to cheer you on


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Palmolive Offline
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Re: I gave in - March 31st 2012, 09:16 PM

Hi there,

You did really well to go that long with out self harming and like already said, relapsing is part of recovery for a lot of people. Just because you have relapsed doesn't mean you've failed or that that's it for you. Use this and turn it in to something positive, use it to help you move on with your recovery.

You can beat the urges, because they're not just going to go like that. But you're in control of your actions and you can overcome them. You might find it helpful to look at this link and use some of these so that when you have urges, you can try some of these distractions and alternatives. Not everything is going to work for you so it's all about trial and error and finding the ones that do work. Don't give up on everything, when something doesn't work. Keep on trying.

We're here for you if you ever need anything. You're not alone. Take good care,
Jessie


   
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Tigereyes Offline
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Re: I gave in - April 1st 2012, 03:13 AM

Thanks so much for the support. It's just so hard to hold myself together. I feel betrayed by nearly everyone I know except my best friend that I never get to see anymore since she goes to a different school and lives 20-25 minutes away. I feel so guilty for hurting myself because I know that it will probably hurt her more than it hurt me when she finds out, even though the cut wasn't that bad. I don't even hurt myself that often so for me, a month and a half free would be a little over average. I've tried, since the first time I self-harmed, to stop (because I knew it would only get worse) but it's so hard because I deserve this. I let too many people down and I'm just not good enough. I'm just not strong enough.


"They don't even know you,
All they see is scars,
They don't see the angel living in your heart.
Let them find the real you buried deep within,
Let them know with all you've got
That you are not... your skin." ~Sixx: A.M.


"Maybe we'll turn it around, 'cause it's not too late; it's never too late." ~Three Days Grace

Always forgive, but never forget.
   
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