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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Exclamation Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - March 31st 2012, 06:18 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I carve at my hip with a pair of scissors multiple times everyday. They're not extremely sharp scissors, so even though it hurts like hell and leaves red marks for the rest of the day, it doesn't usually make me bleed. Is this actually self-harm, or am I just overreacting and thinking it is? Please, no rude answers or telling me I'm just seeking attention, because I get that enough everyday, I don't need it from strangers on an internet forum.


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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - March 31st 2012, 07:22 PM

This is self harm. And we don't think that you are just seeking attention. We understand that is how the world tends to label self harmers but it is simply not true. As a self harmer I understand how damaging it is when people think you are just trying to get attention. Self harm is done for many different reasons but they are all real and legitimate. You are not alone because we on teenhelp will be here for you. We are here to help you not to criticize. If you ever need anything feel free to PM me.

Best Wishes
~SM~
   
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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - March 31st 2012, 07:38 PM

Hey there,

First of all no one here is going to tell you that you are seeking attention or are going to be rude to you. We're not here to judge, we're here to help.
Anything that is done to intentionally hurt you or your body is classed as selfharm so yes I would say it probably is.
Self Harm is a vicious cycle and it's harm to break but you can do it, it might just take some time and a lot of effort. I would suggest taking a look at the alternatives thread. It will help to distract you while the urges fade, remember it is trial and error and therefore not all of them may work for you, but hang in there and you will find one that does.
Also perhaps you could talk to someone you trust about this? Such as a family member, someone that can help and support you through.

If you ever want/need to talk, feel free to PM me,
Take care and stay strong,
Charli


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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - March 31st 2012, 08:45 PM

Hi Rosy,

First, yes, what you are doing is self harm. Any time you intentionally do something that draws blood or causes pain is self harm.

I see that your profile says you're 11 years old...eleven..is that correct? If it is, it is especially important to tell your parents..and show them!..what you've been doing to yourself and let them know you need to talk to someone. You'd do well to find other ways to cope with whatever it is that causing you to cut yourself.

go!


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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - March 31st 2012, 09:09 PM

Hey Rosy,

This is Self Harm.
Even though you are just carving in your skin and not bleeding, it still is self harm because you leave red marks and cause yourself pain.
We definitely do not think of you as seeking attention and we completely understand that you are doing this to help deal with something else. As a Self Harmer myself, I can understand how hard this is and I really suggest you get some help before you get worse with your self harm.
The alternatives thread is very helpful in giving suggestions on how to distract yourself from SH. Not every alternative listed there may work for you but there should be something and it may help to read that list in order to help you create your own list of alternatives.
Also, you really should try talking to someone about this such as your family or a teacher or counselor at school.
They can help you with whatever the things are that are causing you to SH.
Hope this helps.
You can PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 01:32 AM

Thanks very much for all of the answers, everybody! And thanks for understanding, too.


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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 01:46 AM

Hi,

It is self harm because even though there might not be any or much blood it is still a form of hurting yourself. I don't think you're doing it for attention. I think maybe you're trying to deal with something and you're doing this because you're trying to deal. Sometimes physical pain is easier to deal with then emotional pain.
Have you tried talking to anyone about this?
If not then I suggest you do because they can support you.
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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 04:59 AM

I have told some of my very close friends that I do it, although I haven't told my family because I'm terrified of what they'll say. My parents would get angry at me for self-harming rather than try to help me stop. So I don't think telling them would be much help. :\


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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 05:23 AM

Hello, I just wanted to let you know your parents aren't going to get mad at you. I don't know your parents but if they love you, they will be scared for you above all else and want to help you. You'll know when the time is right to tell your parents. I told my Gardian about me this past Monday. I was so scared and could barely get the words out of my mouth. I thought she would be disappointed in me, that she would think it was stupid, but she did'nt. She may not understand, but she wants too. I'm almost positive your parents will be just as willing and supportive of helping you. If you need advice on how to bring it up, please PM me anytime.

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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 05:48 AM

It is self harm because you are intentionally injuring yourself. It does not mean that you are looking for attention; it is just a way to cope. You should look for better alternatives, though, because this is not a healthy way to cope and it won't get you to the root of your problems. You really won't know what would happen with your parents until you try. I know that you may think that they will get mad, but they do love you since you are their child. They may get you help, and if not there is always someone you can talk to like a guidance counselor or school nurse. I know that I was scared that my parents would get mad too but they put me into therapy and it's helped loads. It can definitely help you to tell them.


   
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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 06:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGirlBehindTheSmile View Post
I have told some of my very close friends that I do it, although I haven't told my family because I'm terrified of what they'll say. My parents would get angry at me for self-harming rather than try to help me stop. So I don't think telling them would be much help. :\

Your friends are really great supports however, they are just like you, still growing up and in need of guidance.
I understand this. I didn't tell my family for this exact reason. I thought they would be mad and I think they were but most of all they were very concerned and could not understand why I would do something like this to myself. That is how your family will be too, when and if you decide to tell them.
I really suggest, if you think talking to them could be to scary or difficult, you write them a letter or speak to someone at school about this.
Also, due to your age, if you tell anyone at school about yourself harm they will have to contact your parents, you are not over thirteen, which can be a good thing because the person you speak with can explain the self harm to your parents and possibly give them resources they can use to help you.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Is this SH or am I just overreacting? - April 1st 2012, 02:15 PM

I was terrified to tell my parents and thought they would be angry and punish me and never trust me again. But it turned out that after the school councilor talked to them for me they weren't angry. Yes they were sad and confused about why I do this to myself but they weren't angry like I thought they would be. I found that it helps to talk to the school councilor or a favorite teacher or any other trusted adult and they can help you decide what to do and maybe even talk to your parents for you and explain how you are feeling. Please try to get help soon. The longer you wait the harder it is to stop. If you ever need anything feel free to PM me

Best Wishes!
~SM~
   
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