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xxprincessxx Offline
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Name: Sammie
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I'm not sure how to feel. - March 31st 2012, 08:02 PM

So, I've been clean for 5ish months now and last night I was talking to a friend and he saw my scars and was like "did you use to cut yourself?" and at that point I couldn't lie...so I was just like "yeah..." so then he was like when did you stop? And for the first in forever I was actually honest and told him that I had only been clean for 5 months and that I still struggled with thoughts of it on occassion...

I know that this is probably a good thing because now somebody in my life that I see everyday know's about what I am going through and I don't have to do it by myself anymore, but this scares me. I never know when talking about something is to much and I can be needy and I don't want that to be the basis of our relationship, I want a normal, friendly relationship but at the same time I want to open up. I tend to cause chaotic relationships and I really just want bounderies in this one. I want to have our friendship come first and not him always helping me, you know? He basically asked me to call him whenever I felt like cutting no matter what time, but I don't know... I don't know if I should or not... I don't know when to much is to much... or whatever.



all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Dr.Bobby Offline
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Re: I'm not sure how to feel. - March 31st 2012, 08:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxprincessxx View Post
I tend to cause chaotic relationships and I really just want bounderies in this one. I want to have our friendship come first and not him always helping me, you know? He basically asked me to call him whenever I felt like cutting no matter what time, but I don't know... I don't know if I should or not... I don't know when to much is to much... or whatever.
Sammie, your insight here into yourself is really impressive. So impressive, I expect you'll be able to call upon it when you need to restrain both the urge to cut...or to make those boundaries with him fuzzy and unilaterally change the expectations you guys have of the friendship by looking to him for something he's really not capable of....helping you keep that genie tightly in it's bottle.

There are a lot of reasons to share, but perhaps the best..and often least acknowledged..is that by sharing, you become accountable to someone else. That means it's no longer you and those urges and the razors, alone, contemplating what to do. Now, you have to take into consideration the effects of your actions on someone other than yourself.


PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
   
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