TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Haunted Offline
STAR GAZER
Average Joe
***
 
Haunted's Avatar
 
Name: Serena
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Spacetime

Posts: 167
Join Date: September 25th 2011

Unhappy I realized I'm weak - April 9th 2012, 12:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

last night was like hell for me and I had no reason to feel that terrible. I was upset and confused. I didn't know what was actually happening to me and I was feeling sick.
I think there's something wrong with me.
I mean, it's like everything is crashing down, but I know it's alright, because actually nothing is going wrong. But once in a while I start feeling terrible and I cry over things that don't make sense. It happens often. Almost every single week since last summer I can't help but feel like I fell and touched the ground. Plus, when school started things got worse.
I feel like I'm wasting my life and throwing moments away like they were rubbish. My mom keeps saying that it's not true, but I can't help but feel that way.

/Here comes the part where I talk about yesterday\

Yesterday evening, after dinner, I locked myself in my bedroom and I spent all evening over thinking about I don't even know what, until I came to the point where I thought I was hopeless. At 1 am I went to bed. Kinda. I cried after I washed my makeup away, I cried while I was brushing my teeth and I cried while I was cutting myself for the first time after 3 months and 16 days.
In that moment I felt like I was doing the right thing, even though I knew I wasn't. In fact, when I actually went to bed, I realized that I did it all wrong and there was no way I could erase that moment. I realized I'm weak.
I spent the past 3 months and a half trying to convince myself that I was strong enough not to cut again; I thought I had found hope; I thought I had something to hold onto. When I realized all of this, I cried again... and cut again. This was the most stupid, dumb and idiotic thing I have ever done. Plus, when I'm upset or sad or confused or whatever, I start to hate everything. Including myself. In that moment I decided that I wouldn't eat anything and I already failed and this makes me feel like throwing up.

I know I'm doing it all wrong. I AM WRONG.
I'm so confused. I thought I had everything, but it turned out to be awful anyway. Sometimes I even start wondering why I am still living. WHAT THE F- IS WRONG WITH ME? Where did I go wrong? Why do I have to feel like there's no tomorrow? I am going insane.

Help me.


MONACHOPSIS
the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
2dreamland Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
2dreamland's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 76
Join Date: April 3rd 2012

Re: I realized I'm weak - April 9th 2012, 10:33 PM

Nothing is wrong with you. I feel like that too sometimes. I'm so sorry you're going through a confusing and hard time. Feel free to PM me to talk more. in fact, please PM me! i can say so much more but I have to go for now... we can talk more though.


PM me if you need anything!
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
realized, weak

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.