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Sudden Urges - April 17th 2012, 08:16 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I never thought I'd actually have to start a thread in this section, but I guess it's come to this now.. I'm not even sure what I'm looking to get out of posting this but I'm going to go ahead and post it. I guess I should give a brief description of what's happened to get to this point. I haven't self harmed since December, and before that, I was completely addicted. I stopped because I got into a new relationship and my life changed. I became happier than ever before, and I didn't want to ruin my relationship. It was hard, but as I said, finally in December, I managed to finally stop.
Recently, I've been looking over my scars, and I've had slight urges to SH. Today when my parents got home, my dad got like the a tiny bit annoyed at me, and all of a sudden, I found myself in bed with a razor in my hand. It's not cause my dad got mad, I'm not all that bothered about that, I don't even know what it was. I guess have 0 friends, coursework overload, job worries and future education worries have all piled up and I didn't even realise.
My wrist is only slightly cut, but already I'm feeling like going back and doing more. I guess I'm just worried that I'm going to become addicted to this again.. Does anybody think this is possible it can be a one off and I can stop myself? Has anyone else been able to get away with a one off? I don't even know if this makes sense, I just wanted to tell someone I'd done it because I can't tell my girlfriend or my family.
Ugh I don't know. My heads a mess.

Things, no matter how bad, will always get better. So smile, 'cause this is life, and life is what you make it.
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Re: Sudden Urges - April 17th 2012, 09:30 PM

Sorry to hear about this, but as bad as this sounds just sit back and take a deep breath. All you have to think about is the scars that you already have. Do you really want anymore of them? It is very common to people to relapse from self harm i know i do it alot and sometimes if you have the will power it can be a one off. But only you can make that decision if it is a one off. I personally believe that you have gone 4 whole months and i believe with your new relationship then you can last with that support. I hope your ok and things work out. PM me if you want to talk!

Remember, you can never change the past, but you can learn to live with it.

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