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i think aspergers is gonna ruin my life - October 15th 2012, 02:25 AM

i dont think i will ever find love. my social skills are too bad and my ability to have a emotional relationship with a person is rather limited. a lonely life is a life with no meaning, no matter how much money you make, your still alone.

i started worrying about this when i was 16 years old, and now im almost 20 and havent been on a date (except for prom in 12 th grade, but that was as friends). life is going by so fast.
   
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Re: i think aspergers is gonna ruin my life - October 15th 2012, 05:39 AM

Hi There,

I am not well-educated on Aspergers however, I do know that it is not just people with Aspergers that have this problem.
I am not in anyway saying that it is not a factor in your ability to connect with people to date, it is just something to consider and possibly help your worrying. You are not alone.
I, for example, am 18, have never dated (including prom and any other social events where dates are expected) and while I felt extremely awkward and at times do worry that I will not find someone for myself, I have learned to not let it be a huge worry in my life.
You are twenty years old, that is very young and you have plenty of time to live life and just hang out with people. The best way to find someone is to live life, be yourself and know that you will find someone someday and that if you do not it really is not the end of the world.
Many people are single their whole lives and while they long for a partner to share their life with, they manage to put their time into really close friends and relationships with their families. This closeness with friends and family allows people to not be alone; just because someone is not with a boyfriend or girlfriend or married and they are single, that does not mean they are alone. People can be married and still feel alone.
If you have a counselor or therapist, I really recommend you mention this to them so that they can help you cope with the worry that you may not find someone. They may have had other clients that have struggled with the same issue and can probably advise you on what you can do to help lessen your anxiety and improve your social skills.
Hopefully this has been helpful. You can PM me if you ever need anything.
Take care.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: i think aspergers is gonna ruin my life - October 15th 2012, 08:13 PM

Hey there,
I know it can feel like this, but it's up to you to have it take control or not. I have a family friend with Aspergers. People thought he would never thrive, and then he is slowly overcoming his Aspergers, he dances, stars in play performances and more. You can do it. There's medicine to overcome it. To help you. And you'll find someone who accepts you for you.


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Re: i think aspergers is gonna ruin my life - October 17th 2012, 04:43 PM

Hey there.

I will start by saying that I too have Asperger Syndrome, and have had a diagnosis since 14 (I am now 20). & Sometimes, I feel the same way you do; but not as often as I used to. I went to a college for people with Autism/Aspergers and related things... so many of them have come so far, you'd be surprised... I was. I used to think a person with it was just the exact definition of what their label/diagnosis was, but I was wrong. You can become so so much, just like people without an Autistic Spectrum diagnosis. It doesn't define you in the way you think... that's what I'm starting to realise.
Obviously, things are tough when you have Aspergers. Social skills don't come naturally compared to others, and people can (but most won't) be really rude about your disability, and other stuff. It makes things really awkward at times, but I promise you it does get easier. I'm still lonely at times, but I'm finding it easier the older I get. Have you tried talking to someone about how you feel about your Asperger diagnosis? Someone you trust, and preferably someone who knows a bit about it and maybe even how to get help with it. I'm getting help at the moment, and it's helping. I hope that one day I won't need so much help and be more independent.

I'm always here if you wanna chat more about it. Feel free to PM me.


   
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