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What do I do??? - February 10th 2013, 08:46 PM

I recently moved and one of my new roommates has undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. Of course, I don't actually know that for a fact, but I do know a lot about autism and Asperger's and she exhibits many of the symptoms. What I don't know is how to deal with her. She's undiagnosed so she doesn't have the understanding to help her, and she desperately wants to fit in socially. When I finally made the Asperger's connection it helped me a lot in dealing with her, but it is getting consistently harder to put up with her very literal take on the world and the fact that she has absolutely no understanding of social cues whatsoever. Any advice?? I really want this to be a success and it won't be if I am constantly irritated with one of my roommates.
   
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Re: What do I do??? - February 10th 2013, 11:33 PM

You can't really diagnose her. There could be past social experiences that are causing her to act the way she is. I mean, if this is how she interacts with others socially, it could just be her level of social skills.


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Re: What do I do??? - February 11th 2013, 01:36 PM

Hi There,

You maybe could suggest she visit your college's counseling center for help. If she wants to fit in socially and you do not know how to help her, then you should direct her to resources that can.
You are unable to give her a diagnosis and we are unable to give her a diagnosis so directing her to people that can help her with social skills and that can figure out if her social issues stem from her past or from an undiagnosed disorder would be helpful.
Try being patient with her and accepting her for who she is, instead of getting frustrated with her, learn from her and help her, you both could create a great friendship by doing this and you will probably increase your success of things working out and you not being irritated with one of your roommates.


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Re: What do I do??? - February 11th 2013, 06:17 PM

Well, the problem is that she may not realize that the reason she doesn't fit in socially is because she is so literal and all that, especially if your assumptions are correct and she had undiagnosed Aspergers. I think for starters, you can try not being sarcastic with her, if your putting her in positions where she will not understand that you are not being serious then you're just going to get annoyed when she yet again doesn't get it.
You could always help her out too. Like her her know that you are joking be like "just so you know I can be very sarcastic/joke a lot" and give her examples so that she is aware of the signals. If she can get used to doing it with you that might help.
Also, like I said, helping her out, whether she has aspergers or not, might be beneficial. The poster above me suggested to recommend her to counselling since you don't know how to help her. I have a bunch of experience with people who have disabilities or are just socially awkward or what ever so I could probably fare just fine but I know that this isn't an area a lot of people would be comfortable with. It might help her tot learn to be more sociable. You should make sure you reassure of how common it is to go to counselling about it even though people aren't exactly bragging about it.
You could also continue in your path of helping her by allowing her to hang out with you and your friends sometimes. It's not going to help her become more sociable if your to embarrassed to allow her within 1000 miles of anyone else you know. That way she can be around people more and doesn't have to worry so much about winning them over first since they're more likely to be nice for your sake




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