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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ihea Offline
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Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 12th 2014, 02:31 AM

My mother is quick to shut me down on the idea that I have Asperger's although I've talked numerous times to a child psychologist who has worked with many Asperger's kids.

I think I'm most worried because I am in the gifted program, so I could just be a very Aspie-ish gifted kid, but at the same time I don't quite fit in with gifted kids and that makes me nervous too. I can understand some nonverbal communication and I can get character motives sometimes, yet sometimes I'm still very confused over some nonverbal things and I struggle in comprehension sometimes because I don't quite get it all the time. I can read at a high reading level and I often read stuff like Shakespeare, but even then I'm often surprised to find out what Shakespeare characters are doing.

But like I said, sometimes I can get it. Sometimes I can catch those things other kids don't, which really makes me nervous about the whole Aspie thing. My mom was worried about me having that for years and is dead sure that I definitely don't have it, and I'm scared that she's right and I'm just kind of slow in social stuff. I don't take things literally all the time, although I do tend to be gullible, but I can pick up on those things and perhaps that's just being gifted or something.

Yet I fit into so many other Aspie things, and I don't know if maybe I'm just a person with mild Asperger's or if being gifted changed things or something. There's a kid in my grade with Asperger's and I'm one of the kids he's really attached to so I know how he works and I just look at him and think I'm not like him. He has Asperger's plain and clear and I don't really act like him, yet I do a lot of Aspie things but in like a different way.

I just don't know if I'm really "allowed" to be an Aspie or not. I'm kind of strict on the whole label thing and I'm just super worried that I'm misusing the title and claiming to have something I'm not and I would talk about it but my mom won't hear it and I haven't seen the psychologist in a while. I honestly don't know if I genuinely have a problem or I'm super super good at lying and pretending to myself because sometimes I think this whole thing is an awful mistake but then other times I acknowledge I act like an Aspie and think it fits. And I'm just so worried about this and I've become obsessed with just researching and researching and making sure I still add up with symptoms and testing my empathy and emotional intelligence and I wish my mom would just take me to like a place that could really set these things in stone but she just drills into my head, "You're not an Aspie."

No one can just explain my behavior, and that's all I want. I want labels because I'm just really uncomfortable with myself. I don't know if I'm just high-functioning or an accident and I'm really bothered by this whole thing.
   
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Re: Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 12th 2014, 06:16 AM

You could try to take online diagnosis tests. They aren't 100% accurate though, but they can be kinda-sorta accurate. Ask your mom to take you to be tested. If she refuses and tells you that you're definitely not an Aspie, try to make her understand that while you value her opinion, you'd really like a professional's opinion as well.
   
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Re: Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 12th 2014, 11:54 AM

A few random, tired thoughts about this.

Can you explain why you are seeking a diagnosis? It can be useful, but not always. Also important to remember - Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is on a spectrum

One part of the diagnosis though, is simply does it have a significant impact on your life.

Only a doctor can make the diagnosis, so don't stress too much over online tests and symptoms. It's also easy to convince yourself that you might be ASD.


Feel free to email/PM/VM/whatever me if you want. I'll answer as soon as I can.

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Re: Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 12th 2014, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mahray View Post
A few random, tired thoughts about this.

Can you explain why you are seeking a diagnosis? It can be useful, but not always. Also important to remember - Autism Spectrum Disorder. It is on a spectrum

One part of the diagnosis though, is simply does it have a significant impact on your life.

Only a doctor can make the diagnosis, so don't stress too much over online tests and symptoms. It's also easy to convince yourself that you might be ASD.
I've always had a really hard time with communication and appropriate behavior. I have a whole document prepared currently of symptoms I can relate to and symptoms I don't relate to, and like I said I have been told I most likely have Asperger's but I've never gone to like a place specialized in that field to confirm for it. I've listened to a lot of other Aspie's stories and I relate very well with them, but when I see that other Asperger's kid at school I always think that I can't have it because he has it so worse than I do.

Plus my mother won't take me, but then again I've been officially diagnosed with OCD and she refuses to think that I have that. I've taken some tests because I'm bored, and even ones that aren't about Asperger's tell me that I score in the same range that a lot of people with autism do, such as empathy.

I have more symptoms that I have than symptoms that I don't have, but I don't know, I'm scared I'm over-blowing it. I really just want something to explain why I'm the way I am and getting that one label would just be so comforting to know it isn't my fault that I can't communicate and I can't understand certain things and I have a lot of sensory problems and even other things that seem insignificant but is very Aspie-ish.

If you want, I could post the whole symptoms list. I usually do that but nowadays I'm scared of being accused of being an attention seeker.
   
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Re: Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 12th 2014, 11:43 PM

Hey Hayden,

I've been in a similar situation to yours a few times before. Before I received an official bipolar disorder diagnosis I would do tons of research trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I thought that it would be easy to come to a conclusion about my symptoms and figure out what was wrong on my own. But instead the research I did seemed to confuse me even more. I found that a lot of illnesses had the same symptoms as others. I remember at one point thinking that I had borderline personality disorder because its symptoms are extremely similar to those of bipolar disorder. It is extremely difficult to fully comprehend mental illnesses. I'm pretty sure that Aspergers is a neurological disorder rather than a mental health disorder, and I don't know too much about it. But I'm assuming that Autism is as equally complex as mental illnesses are. And if that is in fact the case then it will be extremely difficult to come to a conclusion about this on your own. You may exhibit certain symptoms of Aspergers, but if I had to guess I'd say that those symptoms can also be caused by other disorders as well, or may even be a result of being gifted as you mentioned in your post. Without expansive knowledge on autism or similar disorders you can't expect to have the ability to diagnose yourself.

I completely understand the desire to find a diagnosis on your own. It's really hard to know that there is something going on or something different about you without having the label to confirm it. You deserve to find out for sure, but unfortunately I don't think you're going to be able to do that on your own. It's essential to get an official diagnosis from a doctor in order to be completely positive of what is going on with you. I would recommend talking to your mom about allowing you to see a doctor who can diagnose you. It sounds like approaching her with the idea of Aspergers hasn't really helped things, so maybe you should leave that out of your conversation for now. You could simply tell her that you feel there might be something wrong and you think it would be beneficial for you to see a doctor so that you can find out for sure. You could also try making it about her. Clearly it kind of upsets her when you bring up the possibility of having Aspergers, so you could convince her by telling her that if you find out for sure you don't have Aspergers it will prevent you from bringing it up in the future. I don't see why she'd see any harm in getting a definite answer anyways.

I hope this helped a little and that you're able to see a doctor sometime soon. I think having an official diagnosis (or officially finding out you don't even need a diagnosis) will clear up a lot of your confusion and help you make more sense of the way you're feeling. Good luck!


   
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Re: Conflict over Aspie label (rant-y) - March 14th 2014, 01:33 AM

See, the only problem with that is she won't take me for anything. A few years ago I had a very severe anxiety problem that prohibited me from leaving the house because I would throw up every time I had to leave, and even then she told me to suck it up and wouldn't take me anywhere. She only took me to a therapist once because I had a panic attack in school and I didn't like it much in therapy because my mom and dad sat in the room with me and spoke for me. It's virtually impossible for me to go anywhere until I turn 18 which is still more than two years away.

And with Asperger's, not all psychiatrists can just diagnose it. I think it's being officially called high-functioning autism since May because of changes in the DSM-V, but what I've seen and read and such you have to go to like a place or person who actually knows specifically about autism. I haven't even told my mom I've been worried about it; once a few years ago, when I first learned about Asperger's, all I said was that it sounded like me and she flipped out. I mentioned it again the other day, and all I was talking about then was a dream I had where I was diagnosed with it and she made sure I knew that I didn't have it.

I've researched a LOT of disorders. I wanted to be a psychiatrist really bad at one point in my life, so I can rattle you off the symptoms to multiple disorders. And the thing is, I do relate to a lot of things, and I have a lot of symptoms of various disorders but not bad or severe enough to actually have said problem. Asperger's has been the only thing I've ever read about that I've ever strongly identified with. I've spent hours reading about traits and symptoms and I can conclusively say I have a majority of the things listed, but I'm worried too that I'm lying to myself or that all my "symptoms" are actually related to giftedness (because gifted kids are often misdiagnosed with Asperger's and vice versa, although I really am not intelligent enough to be given that title so can't be that).

But I'm stuck. Stuck because out of all the things I've read about, the only thing I've ever been able to be probably diagnosed with is Aspeger's but not bad enough for anything else, and stuck because my mother and father don't believe me or care about what I feel and say and refuse to take my anywhere. My mom said she took me to therapy because I had a panic attack, but in all honesty before that even happened my parents told me they were doing that because I hate being touched and that apparently meant I'm abnormal and sick.

So I'm just upset. I literally have no other option.

Edit: I've also tried using my school multiple times. They only have a child psychologist who comes once a week, and he's tried calling my mom before, but she won't listen to him either.
   
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