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Disabilities Living with a disability, either physical or mental, can be both challenging and life changing. For support, questions and discussions relating to disabilities, post here.

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jhonyazrim Offline
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My Disabled Life (I don't know if this is triggering to anyone) - April 4th 2017, 03:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have
Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with traits of Asperger's Syndrome

Generalised Tonic-Clonic Epilepsy

Developmental Delay

Sensory Processing Disorder

Mental Health Issues

Mild Dyslexia

Mild Dysgraphia

Mild Developmental Dyspraxia

Moderate Dyscalculia


I was abused as a child by the so called father.
Enough said about that.

When I was 6 I was diagnosed with epilepsy, when I was 7 they said I had ADHD, when I was 7 I was diagnosed with mild dyslexia, when I was 7 I was diagnosed with mild dysgraphia, when I was 9 I was diagnosed with mild developmental dyspraxia when I was 14 I was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with traits of Asperger's Syndrome When I was 14 I was Diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, when I was 18 I was diagnosed with developmental delay.

When I was 14 they said it was not ADHD that I had but Autism and took me of the ritalin that I was on, since then I have had insomnia.

As for the Mental Health issues, they have always been there since I started nursery.

As a kid I hated maths so much I used to fake seizures to get out of maths, it was through these pseudo seizures (a recognized psychiatric disorder associated with epilepsy and other conditions) that I was able to get out of maths most of the time, it was not till I was in college that the neurologist asked a psychiatrist to look at the reports from my school years regarding my seizures, and I was diagnosed as having pseudo seizures.
This was mainly down, to not understanding maths, and not being able to retain or process numerical information as a kid, it took me 17 years to memorise my mums telephone number, I have been living in my own flat now for 4 years and I still can't remember my telephone number.

My autism effects everything I do, from how I communicate to what I say, from how I think to the choices I make. My perception of the world around me is distorted and I do not know how, I just know that I have been told by doctors, and consultants that I see the world differently from normal people.
I hate the term normal anyway. Normal is a 34 year old disabled woman in a wheelchair pooing her nappy while waiting to be changed outside a disabled toilet, in a queue, be cause she was already wet. Normal is walking to the convenient store at 9pm and seeing a 4 year old being hit by a car as the drunk driver speeds of down the road with out even batting an eye lid. That's Normal pretty disgusting what people assume is normal in this day and age, and because I can not change modern societies mass deluded view I can not do anything about it, and that's why I hate Normal.

My Developmental Delay
I have been told by my neurologists that my chronological age is 29, but my cognitive age (Current Physical Developmental Age) is 22 and my emotional age is 15, apparently if my childhood had not been the way it was I would have probably developed with out such a steep emotional delay.

My learning difficulties affect me in all different ways, most of them are mild, but my dyscalculia is moderate, I have difficulty remembering a 2 digit number let alone a number with 3 digits, it took me till I was 15 to memorize my year of birth.

Sensory Processing Disorder
I am Hyper sensitive to High and low frequencies, taste and heat. I am Hypo sensitive to touch, cold, pain and being dirty. As a result of my hyper sensitivities, my ears hurt when around alarms, sirens, generators, storms, anything with an electric motor, when playing music or movies I must use a High Range and Low Range filter, I can only use certain kinds of telephone, I can only talk to people in person for for a short amount of time with out headphones and ear plugs, I get hot very quickly, and I am very fussy about what I eat.
My Hypo sensitivities mean, I do not feel the cold at all unless it drops below 8 degrees celsius, I do not feel dirty (this means that I often need reminding to shower or change cloths), you could cut my hand and I would not notice until you showed it to me, while I do not feel pain, once I see an injury the pain starts then, but I have been told that this is psychological and not a form of true pain as felt by the brain. You could touch me and I would not notice it unless you started to shake me or squeeze me.

I will not say to much about my Mental health issues, except that I have been known to suffer from depression.
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Re: My Disabled Life (I don't know if this is triggering to anyone) - April 4th 2017, 10:18 AM

Hello! Before I say anything, I want you to know, that you are very very courageous to write this to us. You are very brave and I want to praise you a lot for that. This means a lot about you.

I completely understand how difficult life it can be with epilepsy. The fact that you are living on your own flat means you are very strong mentally. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Know that the choice of living on your own, to live with your own life, is a very very couraging move, and I want you to know that you can be as sucessful as others. Your disability certainly affects your life in some way, but while you deserve to get help from others, I want to also tell you that you deserve to be respected just like others. Please don't think that your disability will make you any less worthy than others. You are more worthy than you think!

I can understand why do you hate others label you as normal. I know. It feels like you are forced to be in the same group of real normal people and yet you are actually not. I am very sorry for you because they are wrong. First I want to clarify clearly, that you are having disablities, and no one shall disregard or invalidate you by saying otherwise. BUT, a big but, these disablities should never be a cause for anyone, anyone to look down to you or think you are unworthy. So do yourself. The idea is that, for me, I wouldn't want to use the word disablitity, but special. They might need more help from people physically, but in return I believe they have something special in them that only they can contribute. Never underestimate them, because they are more valuable than we all think. Don't look down to yourself, I think you are so much worthy than you think!

As such, I would like to say that you deserve to be treated as normal. In what sense? That you are still aware of yourself, of the surroundings, and your feelings, and you are living your own life. There are epilepsy patients who cannot take care of themselves and are unaware of everything. They fully dependent of the caregiver and they cannot talk and move by their own. They may not have self conciousness. I want to say I am very sad for them, as they will not able to live on their own life, untill treatment is given. I really know how tragically sad it is.

I totally understand when you say you are not normal. But the fact that you are right here, trying to live your own life means a lot. It means you deserve the dignity, respect, just like or even more than other normal people. You have so much potential in you that you can contribute, unique from every others! I hope you dont feel so bad of yourself. We live in a community where everyone should and will help each other. You might be in a group who needs more physical help, but you never know how special you can contrinute back to the society. Don't let you special needs to make you down. You can lift your head up and proudly look into the world. You are living your own life!

You are so special and unique. You are more worthy than you ever think. You can live an amazing life. Never let anyone say otherwise, and never let your special needs to be compromised with depression. I am always here if you need to talk, and don't hesitate if you wish to talk to me! I wish you all the best with everything.

Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: My Disabled Life (I don't know if this is triggering to anyone) - April 9th 2017, 09:17 PM

I got taken off ritalin aged 16 - just taken off it no weening off it etc just stopped it. Like you i have lots of disabilites
As perges, ADHD, dyscalculia, dyslexia (diagnosed recently at the age of 26), dyspraxia, hip dysplaysia. then theres like all the mental health stuff.(depression, anxiety, OCD, unspecified adult personality and behaviour disorder, dermotillimania and insomnia)

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