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ADHD - May 11th 2019, 03:23 PM

For a really long time I've had serious issues with attention. I just can't keep my attention on practically anything. I don't know if I've had this issue as a child because I had other issues to contend with back then so never gave it much thought.

It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I noticed something wasn't quite right. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't concentrate on even doing things I enjoy like gaming. After an hour or so I would have to take breaks, or just get up and walk around the room. Or just go get a cup of tea just for the sake of moving around and 'doing' something.

I have been struggling with University, especially during lectures. Having to sit there between 1 - 3 hours is horrifying. Even just the one hour I struggle. I constantly move around in my seat. I fidget with things. My min wanders off to a million other places after 15 minutes of trying to focus. I refocus for a few moments and then my mind zips off to another gazillion subjects and I end up not listening to a thing going on in the lectures.

I'm trying to revise for my exams and I just can't do it. I just came back from the library after 4 hours of trying to work. I'd say a good portion of that time was me googling random stuff online, playing mobile games on my phone, and generally zoning out and moving around in my seat, fidgeting with whatever was near by (which was mostly my phone). The 40-minute lecture recording I was trying to listen to turned into a very long 4 hour session indeed.

When I got tested for dyslexia December 2016, I was unofficially tested for ADHD and I came out with a strong positive. I want to go to my GP once I return home and discuss getting tested, but I also want to serve in the military. However, ADHD is an instant bar from service and you have to be free of symptoms for 3 years... which basically crushes any hope I have of serving.

On the other hand, it's likely they'll see I have a lot of issues and I'd be considered temporarily unfit for service either way, so I'm thinking I may just go ahead and do it anyway.

I tried to talk to my mum about it. I really, really tried. However, like with other issues I have... she has not been very supportive. She claims I just 'have a lot of energy', which is NOT what ADHD is about. It's about inattention and hyperactivity. It doesn't necessarily mean the person has a lot of energy all the time. I can be absolutely exhausted and I still have these symptoms. It has nothing to do with how much energy I have.

I'm confident she has it too, or at least to some degree. She can't stick to one thing at a time and has several tasks going at any one time. She constantly interrupts right after asking someone a question. She keeps trying to finish sentences. Even when she's trying to relax, she has a computer game going whilst watching something on Netflix in between washing dishes. Even before I said anything to her she was already in denial. Except when I was reading to email of her denying it, you can clearly see her irregular thought patterns of jumping from topic to topic to topic. I get that to a degree it's normal, but not at her level.

She then put my 'problem' down to childhood trauma. ADHD is genetic. I didn't get traumatised into having inattention, it just happens to be here because she has it. I got it from her, but I can't exactly say that to her because she will just refuse to accept it.

I honestly don't know what to do. I don't even know what kind of job I could possibly do that allows me to do multiple things at once and is stimulating at the same time. The ONLY thing I really enjoy doing and could do for hours, is be at the gym. I love being there so much that I often lose track of time. I wish that I could have a job that involves physical activities like working out because I'd be very happy. But those kinds of things are few and far between.


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Re: ADHD - May 14th 2019, 12:04 AM

Hello Sarah,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and I hope that you will be okay soon.

You said that when you are sitting in class you fidget and sometimes you have a hard time sitting still. Would you be able to get something like a fidget spinner that you can play with and you can play with that so that you can try and pay attention to what is going on in the classroom? Another thing that you can try is would you be able to get a recorder and record when you are in class and then when you are doing your homework you can play this back what your professor was saying and you will be able to have everything that they were saying. So even if you are having a hard time sitting still and listening to what the professor is saying, with having a recorder you will still be able to do your work and you will be able to understand everything that is happening in the classes.

Would you be able to talk to someone at the school and see if they can help you out with your work so that you are able to understand this? You can talk to the school counselor or one of your professors and let them know that you're having a hard time with the school work and they would be able to help you with this or find another student to help to tutor you. Or see if you can join a group of people and you all do your work together.

I'm so sorry that when you we're talking about this to your mother she wasn't very supportive. She should have been and helped you out with this. Would you be able to talk to your doctor and let them know about this and they can help you out and help you so that you can focus more when you are in school and doing other things. I wish you the best wish this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you Hugs.


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Re: ADHD - May 14th 2019, 09:27 AM

Thank you for your response!

I have been recording my lectures and listening to them in my own time. Though this then presents the issue of keeping my attention whilst listening to them . As I'm graduating soon, lectures are officially over for me, though if I get a job I think I will try to raise the issue and perhaps get something similar to what you've suggested to help me with my fidgeting.

When I return home in late June I will try and speak to my doctor, and see if they can forward me for testing. I've decided it's for the best, because this issue I have is still going to be here whether I get tested or not, I'd rather just make it more 'official' and see what my options are from there.


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