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MackB222 Offline
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Name: Mack
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

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Join Date: July 1st 2011

Exclamation Conversion/Somatoform Disorder - July 4th 2011, 03:20 AM

I'm a 16 year old Junior girl dealing with this problem

I come from a loving family but from a friend-less childhood. I was bullied and friendless all the way up until 7th grade. I never told anyone about my experiences and kept it all to myself. Because of how I grew up, I have no self esteem, everyone else is more important than me. I dedicate my life to helping other people with their problems.

In my freshman year of high school, I passed out in class. We went to the doctor but no one knew what was wrong. I would get black spots, feel faint, be unable to walk, lose the ability to speak, get migraines, and pass out. For days I would lose the ability to walk and even the smallest cold could take me down for a week. After a few tests, they knew that it was not life threatening. After I stopped responding to my friends at school during an episode, I went to the hospital but they found nothing tangibly wrong. They diagnosed me with Somatoform Conversion Disorder.

Essentially, my experiences, stress, and traumas from my childhood have come back to haunt me. They cause all of these symptoms. This caused a ton of stress in my family. My parents had to rethink how they would deal with me. They would get into a few fights in the beginning, blaming each other and saying that each other wanted me to stay sick and that they weren't trying. My dad stormed out after such a fight at one point and I sat in bed, only able to hear the conversation but unable to get up or do anything. Mom called him back & I talked with him but I still don't think I've completely forgiven him for yelling at Mom when she's here all day dealing with me and this illness. Luckily this was the last fight they've had about this subject. I slowly grew accustomed to the disorder over the course of my Sophomore and Junior year and had less and less attacks.

All that has changed.

May 18, 2011
I was sitting in the top of the bleachers inside of our gym and began to feel dizzy and see black spots. I let my 2 friends there know that I would need their help when everyone left to get out of there. When everyone left, we were joined by another friend. While we were waiting for the nurse when my right leg and arm started to twitch. We dismissed it until they started to shake. My friends pinned me down as I went into an all out seizure. They called my mom & 911. The paramedics got there as I was being pinned by 6 people on the bleachers.

They took me to the ambulance & gave me a medication to put me to sleep for a while. That's the last thing I remember til I woke up in the hospital. The seizure lasted a total of 3 hours. I was sent home in a few hours because there was nothing they could do, it wasn't something that some meds could heal.

Thursday: 2 seizures
Friday: 7 seizures (including one at 3:30 in the morning)
Saturday: 5 seizures
So far today: 2 seizures

Each seizure lasts from as long as 3 hours to 10 minutes. They continue til I am unconscious and wake up a few minutes later. I can't move at all afterwards & at the moment I can't walk. As I'm typing I'm laying exhausted in my bed, trying to figure out how to fix this. If I don't stop having so many seizures, I'm not going to be able to get on a plane on thursday to go to my own uncle's wedding. I feel like I'm just a burden to everyone around me and I feel totally alone.

I have no idea how to fix this, I can't do anything. I want to be able to walk again without being worried about having seizures.
Suggestions anyone?

If anyone wants to ask questions, any at all feel free and thank you for reading this

July 3rd
I wrote all that a while ago. I've been on vacation on an island for a month now, with practically no stress. I've had less problems and basically no seizures unless me and my family have a fight. Then my extended family came and I had a horrible seizure and totally scared all of them. I didn't want any of them to know or worry about any of it, well that all went down the drain. If i have another one, i may not go to a college seminar. I may not go to college period at this point. I may not even be able to get back into my high school. I don't know what to do anymore
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Anonymous. Offline
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Re: Conversion/Somatoform Disorder - July 5th 2011, 04:36 PM

Hey, I have to admit that I had to google it. I couldn't find much really. I did find one site. It had some description and some treatment options. I have a link here:


I'm not sure if this s exactly. If you have a better link, you can show me and we can work on how to help you. But we're not professionals here, all we would do is make some suggestions on what to talk about with your parents and your doctor.

And I'm sure you're not a burden. It may seem that way, and I know how you feel, but your parents love you. If they didn't, they would not have done as much as they did. They're probably just at a loss, but that doesn't mean they're gonna give up.

I hope this helps.
Feel free to PM me anytime.
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conversion, conversion or somatoform, disorder, scared, somatoform, sos

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