Triggering (SH): Incident in the Inclusion and diversity unit

[dipka]

Okay, this may take quite a bit of explaining, so I appolagies in advance.

This year my school changed from being organised as year groups to organised as houses. (each house has 2 forms from each year in it) I am a 'house mentor' which means I have a allocated year 7 form that is also in my house that I have to take care off. As well as looking out for anyone that's in my house.

Many of the people with any kind of disability or SEN are in my house. I also have SEN. We all go to B11 (the Inclusion and diversity unit room for people with disabilityes/SEN, or anyone who getts support for it to go at break times) so I see them quite a lot.

In 'my' year 7 form is a girl called Louise who I now know has ADHD. Today in B11 im not sure how or why but someone bought up the subject of Self Harm.
Basicly the genral idea was that Louise then decided that people who SH are emos. She was then very proud of herself as she showed off the fact that she has one tiny cut on her arm. Im assuming that it was perhapse a scrach or something and NOT done by SH.
She then asked everyone around (who obvesly all have their own needs, and some probably dont know what SH or a emo is) if she was or wasent an emo, and then focus turned onto someone elce who was falsely accuesd of being an emo and a large argument started.

As a house mentor Im ment to have taken controol of it. I did try and made it clear that people who self harm are NOT emos but I dident want any attention to be baught to myself. I have Harmed for about 1 year and am still very reserved over it. (to make it worse for me, that morning I had been at hospital at an appointment about my self harm and had just got into school) Their were no other teachers around at the time untill they came out to tell us to get to lessons.

Im just struggling to deal with Louise, she is very loud and just says things without thinking. She is also fairly agressive and defient and rarely listens to anyone. Im just really scared of what could happen throught the rest of the year.

What should I do now? I know I cant just leave it.. but Im too scared to step up and take controol of it and talking to a adult/teacher is even scarier.
Any advice please?

[Nostalgia]

Maybe take her to one side and have a quiet word with her and explain that the way she is behaving at certain times is not exactly appropriate and that you would like her to try to calm down a-bit, explain that you don't mind her talking ect but she does need to watch some of the things she says and maybe to think before speaking. And maybe tell her that if thing's don't exactly improve you will need to speak to a teacher at school.
And maybe tell her that subjects such as self harm are best to be left for times outside of classrooms as those sort of subjects can be sensitive subjects for some people.

I myself have ADHD and I remember someone having a similar chat with me about speaking before not thinking and being a little disruptive. (though I never bought up the subject of self harm)

[dipka]

Ill try it, She has a teacher/staff that follows her everywhere, so Id feel a bit like its going 'you suld do ur job better' too her.

Iv been away and havent seen her in school since this

[Nostalgia]

It would not exactly be telling them to do a better job more making them aware of the issue.

[Minerva McGonagall]

Hey there. Another thing I want to add that you could do is write things down, explaining what's been going on. That way, you wouldn't have to actually talk to a teacher. Remember that you're just trying to help, I'm sure a teacher would understand where you are coming from.

[dipka]

Thanks guys. I allways get scared of writing to explain stuff (I should probally point out that physcally I cant achally write) so thats the 1st thing.
2=I have to type it, wich means saving and printing it. Therfore it cant ever been delited/destroyed if I wanted it to be
3=It then meens that whoever I give it to has a permanate copy/record of what I said.

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by SquidPid

Maybe take her to one side and have a quiet word with her and explain that the way she is behaving at certain times is not exactly appropriate and that you would like her to try to calm down a-bit, explain that you don't mind her talking ect but she does need to watch some of the things she says and maybe to think before speaking. And maybe tell her that if thing's don't exactly improve you will need to speak to a teacher at school.
And maybe tell her that subjects such as self harm are best to be left for times outside of classrooms as those sort of subjects can be sensitive subjects for some people.

I myself have ADHD and I remember someone having a similar chat with me about speaking before not thinking and being a little disruptive. (though I never bought up the subject of self harm)

^Agreed. Nice.

Being a mentor (especially when you struggle with some of the issues of the people you're mentoring) is often difficult, b/c it stirs a lot up, you're close to it.

The solution here is to recognize your own limitations (that's always a real strength, btw, and perhaps most especially when 'Helping' as the act of helping is very emotional, and with that, can come that loss of perspective), and talk with your teacher/supervisor about the situation with HER and the management issues you face (sharing your own piece of it is optional).

Not every 'Special Needs' kid has the same special needs, and in her case, her ADHD (impulsive!) might prevent her from really being in a group counseling/talking situation, regardless of who's the leader (or mentor).

It might be best to take her aside after one of these impulsive expressions of inappropriateness and point that out to her, gently, and also tell her what the appropriate response would have been, so she can learn and see it that way, rather than you scolding her.

If they see you as having some 'Authority' as a mentor (which I assume comes with the role), try to remember that the nervousness you feel is coming from your own stuff here, and project an image of certainty and calmness.

[Guile]

Can you not simply kick her out of the group? Remove the problem for good?

[Unicorn ♥✿]

Well then someone else would have to deal with her, thus, the problem isn't really solved.#

I think you should just talk to her. Say what she is saying is hurtful to others and she must try and stop herself saying such things.

Maybe implement a system? Goes one session without being mean/loud or whatever, gets a star in a book or something. Gets enough stars by half term, gets a treat?
Orrrr, a signal. She's getting to loud and mouthy, you show her a yellow card, she continues, red.

Jemxx

[dipka]

Many thanks for the surgetions on this one guys.

Just to clear up, its not any organised group or anything, it was in a break time. so you she and I and the others are all there cos we want to be.

Anyways, she's not mentiond it again sinc so Im assuming that a teacher delt with it.
The problem of her saying inapropiate things is continueing with everything, so I now know that they are loooking more in depth to something such as changing her medication for exaple. Wich will obvs take time to investigate and solve before I get the results/improvments from it.

But yeh, much apriciated everyone
dipka x