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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Skyness Offline
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Question October 4th 2011, 11:28 PM

I don't know how to make friends. I've tried talking to people, but I never know what to talk about. I've tried talking about the other person, but all they talk about is school. I either barely say anything or start saying stupid things. I've also tried being myself, but every time I try being myself I get treated like a retard. Even when I don't act like myself I'm still treated like a retard. I just get treated like a retard more if people find out I'm autistic or I act like myself. How do I act like I'm not autistic?


I know I don't fit in.

Last edited by Skyness; October 5th 2011 at 02:52 AM. Reason: Merging posts.
   
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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 5th 2011, 01:11 AM

Hey there. While I admittedly do not know exactly what to tell you, just know that you are not a "retard" in any way. You cannot help the fact that you are disabled. People out there will accept you for who you are, like here on TH. And if people treat you unfairly, that's not your fault, nor is it worth worrying over. People simply just do not understand things sometimes, causing them to act out.

Oh, this fourm (as in, Disabilities) doesn't get very many visitors often, but if you'd like, feel free to message me anytime. I'd be happy to try and help with whatever I can.
   
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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 6th 2011, 10:45 AM

Hey there!

Yeah, disabilities doesn't get many visits (It's hurtful, but yeah)
Well atleast you are trying! You aren't a "retard" at all! It sounds to me as if people are just being ignorant of you, you can't HELP it

Is there perhaps a local group you can join? Or a club, what do you like?

Jem
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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 6th 2011, 12:08 PM

One of the kids I grew up with, a family friend, is autistic, and my younger brother is too. I know from them how hard it can be, and I'm sorry you're going through it.
The family friend I have has heaps of friends now, but as a kid he didn't have many. He was very self-concious about his autism. At some point in his teens he decided to stop trying to fit in and just be himself and go to things he wanted to go to. Through doing that he met friends with similar interests and found it much easier to make friends. Now he has the confidence that he knows how to make friends, so is pretty great with everyone. I've introduced him to a lot of people I know, and they can't even tell he's autistic!!
My brother is going through what you are at the moment though ... and it is hard, but you just need to be true to yourself. If people don't like you for who you are they aren't worth it. I have a disability myself and I know it's FAR easier said than done, but believe me you will meet some of the best people in the world by doing so
PM if you need anything or want to chat


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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 6th 2011, 09:14 PM

Hi,

I have a disability too and I know what this truggle is like. The best thing you can do is join a club or group that your school has that is something you're interested in. If your school has a club for writing for example, then you could join that club to be with other kids that write, if your school has a club for math then you could join that club and be with other kids with that interest.
If your school has no clubs or limited clubs and mostly sports and you're mostly a nonsports person, you could see what's out in your community for afterschool, weekly or monthly clubs. (My school is one of those schools)
I really hope I've been of some help to you, if you ever want to chat or need help with anything, you can message me on here and I'll be glad to help.
I hope all is going well with you and that you find some friends.


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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 7th 2011, 01:32 AM

Aww, you don't need to act like your not autistic. There's nothing wrong with being so.

Coming from someone who has aspergers, the best advice I can give you is just be yourself. Do the things that you wanna do. Talk about things that interest you. If people don't like you for being yourself, then they honestly don't make good friends. Just keep looking for people that'll overlook your autism and see you as just another human being.

I hope this helps you. C:
   
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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 9th 2011, 09:10 PM

Just treat people how you want to be treated. Random things can also be fun to talk about with people. If you ever need anything you can pm me.


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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 10th 2011, 05:01 PM

I have as perges a form of autisim and the easiest way for me to make friends was for me was just being myself. It's harder to make friends but just be yourself and you should soon hopefully make friends.



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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 12th 2011, 07:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by frilly_candy View Post
Aww, you don't need to act like your not autistic. There's nothing wrong with being so.

Coming from someone who has aspergers, the best advice I can give you is just be yourself. Do the things that you wanna do. Talk about things that interest you. If people don't like you for being yourself, then they honestly don't make good friends. Just keep looking for people that'll overlook your autism and see you as just another human being.

I hope this helps you. C:
I don't think people truly accept autism. People might not be mean to me, but they still treat me differently.


I know I don't fit in.
   
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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 13th 2011, 02:50 PM

The fact that people do not truly accept autism is not fair, but it does. Just be yourself, and don't change who you are. I get its harder because of not understanding social gestures and body language but making friends is still possible, Just be yourself. Maybe try joining a youth club or something ? Theres not really a way to act not autistic - its who you are.



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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 15th 2011, 11:19 PM

None of the following paragraph represent facts, or even my personal opinions I am not attacking you, but trying to put myself into the shoes of the people who refuse your friendship:
The other people probably view you as strange, not worth the time, or even scary. Because you have autism, it means you have issues with social interaction, and although you cannot even understand these issues because they aren't relevant, to a "normal" person you're body language is likely defensive and this naturally turns people away.

The thing to do is just keep trying to talk to people. Realize that eventually they will learn you aren't strange, you are worth the time, and you aren't anything to be afraid of. Once people become familair with you they will be more willing to accept you. You have to keep trying.

Another thing to realize is that it might not be because of your autism at all. I sometimes say "Stupid things" that seem out of place, or get nervous when talking to people or ignored. This happens to EVERYONE at SOME point in life. Do not blame your disability and do not feel that it's holding you back. Everyone feels like an outcast sometimes, so do not leave your disability make you feel bad for experiencing a normal human emotion. People around you might not be social with others who aren't apart of their "group", they might be shy, they might be flat-out mean, chances are it has nothing to do with you at all.

- Justin

Edit: Re-reading my post, I did sound a bit harsh, I am not going to edit it, but I just want you to know that it annoys the hell out of me when people patronize someone with a disability, unless you are physically unable to do something I will not be treating you any differently. I'm harsh with everyone.



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Re: How do you make friends when you're autistic? - October 15th 2011, 11:58 PM

As most of the responses to this thread appear to be repetitive, I am going to close this thread. Juila, if you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.
   
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