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BlaineG. Offline
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Autism - December 21st 2011, 03:31 AM

Hi Everyone...

I have aspergers syndrome. When I meet new people I can't make eye contact with them I keep looking down with people I have known for while I am fine I am able to make eye contact and I can not tell when I person is being sarcastic and when people are being serious unless you make it really really really really obvious. Sometimes I feel like stupid because of this. I keep getting in trouble with teachers because I am not making eye contact with them. They know about my disability and how I can't make eye contact in all of that but they don't seem to get that they threaten to write me up and then I have to try to make eye contact and that makes me nervous its like they don't care. I cant read peoples body language.

There is only one person that I trust in my school and I emailed him about an incident that happened in school.... Here is the what I said and the result...

This is one of the incidents that has been happening...

This is what I said in the email...

Hello Mr. Handfield,

I have been trying and trying to talk to Mrs. Beveridge for a long time it’s been at least 2 or 3 days I have left several messages for her. I feel that she is avoiding me that is not fair to me. I went down to Guidance Monday and asked to file a bullying incident form and that took until approximately Tuesday or Wednesday when they are supposed to taken immediately. I am not in any way trying to rude but it is upsetting that no cares enough to take a simple five minute report from me. I don’t it’s a lot ask eventually the report was taken and was taken care of and I appreciate that. I am upset because Mrs. Beveridge has been avoiding me because I wanted to drop one of my classes and I couldn’t even get the form to begin the process of dropping a class. I am hoping that you can help me I would appreciate it if you would call me down on Monday if you have time. If you do not have time Monday I would appreciate if you could see me at some point during next week.

This is the response I got..... please be advised I have taken out some personal information for my protection...

Good Morning Blaine –

I understand you are frustrated. I will do my best to get to you this week. I think we should talk about a few things in your e-mail, man to man.

Talk to you soon...
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Re: Autism - December 21st 2011, 03:36 AM

First of all, you are NOT stupid. I'm sorry that teachers and your peers have made you feel that way. Unfortunately, that's not something that will ever go away. It's sad, but people tend to have issues handling things that fall outside of their concept of "average." The fact that they know about your disability makes it worse -- they should be making extra efforts to work with you and to understand what you are going through. Even though you already complained to your principal, it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere. If your principal does not have a conference with you by the time he specified in the email, or if he does not make any attempts to rectify the situation, have your parents call the school. School authorities never want to deal with angry parents, so they'll fix the situation ASAP. Good luck with all of this! Feel free to shoot me a message if you need to talk.

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Re: Autism - December 21st 2011, 03:50 AM

Thank you for responding!

I am going to give him sometime. I trust him and I am hoping that he will not let me down. Every time a school official says they are going to do something I follow-up on it not only with them but with other people that I know and they don't know I do it. I have never caught the principal in a lie but I have caught a lot of other people in a lie and I don't talk to them at all anymore. that includes but is not limited to Staff, Students and/or any person employed by this school because they are all corrupt bastards. I guess we will see what happens with the principal.
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Re: Autism - December 21st 2011, 03:52 AM

Unfortunately, that's not something that will ever go away.
Actually, that's not necessarily true. My older sister is mentally slow (it's not autism or down syndrome, but something on the spectrum, I'm just not sure of the medical term), and she used to be extremely shy, even more than you. She wouldn't even talk to people, never mind attempt to make eye-contact like you do, but now she is one of the most social people I know. Granted, it took years of hard work, but my mom was a social worker and used her experience to help my sister become more comfortable around people and confront her fears, and even though she's still not "normal," she carries on conversations just like anybody else now.
I'm sorry your teachers are so disrespectful to you--it's really rude, and I agree with Sammi--you should talk to your parents and principal about their behavior. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that these people aren't used to working outside of their comfort zones--being a teacher can be a very routine-situated job, and people in general are more comfortable around familiarity. Your teachers are trying to "correct" your behavior and make you look at them so that they can feel more comfortable themselves, which is wrong. Although, maybe they think they're trying to help you, in which case you and your parents need to talk to them and explain why it's not helpful.
In any case, I'm sorry for your situation, but keep your head up! Don't let ignorant people get you down--you're way better than that! And you are not stupid.

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Re: Autism - December 29th 2011, 02:48 PM

I too have AS.
I am now out of school due to age related reasons, but I had the exact same kind of issues when I was in school. I found it hard to read what people meant in body language, and no one really understood and made out I was dumb or something.
I don't know what to suggest because I just ended up dropping out, which I don't recommend overall because I lost a lot of contact with people, and although school was hell for me, I wish I stayed in education. (I did go back to education in a specialist school, but it wasn't the same)
good luck.

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Re: Autism - December 29th 2011, 04:08 PM

I also have as-perges syndrome and it is really hard to make eye contact. Like you I cannot tell the difference between when someone is being serious and is joking, I also take things literally. And I also find reading body language hard too. Maybe try talking with Mr H at school and finding out if they can get someone to help you in lessons etc ?

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