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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
I'm as sane as I ever was.

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Shopping. - May 1st 2015, 05:54 AM

I have a hardcore shopping addiction and it's really started to get me in a bad place financially. I've gotten more than one credit card over the past year and a half or so because I blow through my paychecks so quickly. My bank account has ended up in the negatives more than once and I'm currently trying to pay off my credit cards.

Logically, I know that I need to start budgeting and stop spending money on things I don't need. I just can't make myself do it. The money from my most recent paycheck got deposited into my bank account today and the first thing I did was think about what I wanted to buy. I haven't actually spent any money yet, aside from paying a bill...but I also know that I'm in trouble.

Any suggestions for creating stricter budgets and not spending money that isn't necessary to spend would be fantastic!

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Shopping. - May 1st 2015, 06:56 AM

You could always get rid of the credit cards and just use debit cards that way they just take the money right out of your account and if you don't have enough money you can't get anything that may help.

Also another thing the only way I could get SSI is if I had a paye or whatever it's called. so my money doesn't go to me it goes into an account my grandma set up and she will be giving me money every month from my ssi. Maybe you could do that for a while until you think you can handle it?

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We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ambedo. Offline
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Re: Shopping. - May 1st 2015, 08:04 AM

I'm closing the credit card accounts one by one, with the intention of leaving one open for emergencies only.

The tough thing about your second suggestion is the fact that I don't have a set amount of money that is spent on bills...and my paychecks vary in size every pay period, based on how many hours my manager decides to give me. It's always been difficult for me to budget when I don't know how much money I'll be getting or need to spend.

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Shopping. - May 2nd 2015, 12:27 AM

Hey Sammi.

I have the same problem on a smaller scale, so I'll see if I can offer any advice.

I've found that saving up for something 'big' can be really helpful. For example lately I've started saving up for an overseas trip, so if I get the urge to impulse buy something I think "I could spend my money on this and be happy for a while, or I could put the money towards that trip and be happy for a lot longer". It helps keep me on track and makes me realise that although I may want something, it doesn't mean I need it.

If there are particular things in the shops that you find you tend to impulse buy, stay away from those stores/aisle if possible. With me it tends to be entertainment (books, DVDs, that kind of thing) so I'm very careful about going to places that I know stock these items. If you plan ahead when you're at the mall you can avoid those places and not tempt yourself, you know?

I would also recommend implementing a 'sleep on it' rule. When you do your grocery shopping, make a list and stick to it. If you see something you like that isn't on the list, don't buy it right away - instead, sleep on it. If you still really want it the next day, then you can go back; but you might find that the urge has faded and you realise you don't actually want or need that item anymore.

Another thing I do, which may or may not be helpful but seems to work for me, is to have a 'freebie' day every now and then. Every few months I set aside a day where I can impulse buy whatever I want (usually online, since that's my thing) - as long as I stay inside a pre-arranged budget. I've found that just letting myself go wild on this one day means I'm less likely to buy things impulsively on other days.

Finally, if you have someone else who can help keep you on track, that could be useful. I think you just moved back home, so maybe you could ask your parents to just check up on you every now and then to make sure you're sticking to your budget. They could even help you make the budget, if you think that would help.

I'm not sure how useful any of this was, but I gave it my best shot.

but when the morning breaks
we will see the sun.
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Re: Shopping. - May 2nd 2015, 06:15 AM

What I do is take 20 out for the week and leave my cards at home and if I know I'll need more cash for something that is needed not wanted than I'll take more out. But if I want to buy something k don't use my cards I save up those 20's it has helped some

Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with


Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.

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Re: Shopping. - May 4th 2015, 12:10 AM

what are the things that you generally overspend on? If the things you buy are for pleasure or enjoyment, there are other ways to have fun. You can do a lot for free or lower cost. For instance instead of going to the movie theater you can watch movies for free online. Or instead of buying a membership to a fitness center you can jog around your neighborhood or in a nearby park.

It also helps to fill your day with enjoyable activities so you're not thinking about shopping so much. I sorta have a shopping addiction tendency, that has luckily not manifested into something big yet. But I do know that my addictions work similar to procrastination. I would look on Amazon for things to buy, because I'm avoiding something that I don't want to confront. I do know that spending time in places and with people I enjoy can go a long way and dilutes my urges for spending money.

And this is something I've been doing for a while now so I don't know how helpful it'll be. But back when i was a kid, I was very much into having things. I was a hoarder in a way (maybe I still am, shh) but more than that, I was attached to buying things (toys and games in particular) to give me fulfillment. I would always want to buy things but my dad did not have enough money to give me to spend over toys. Something I did was go to the store without money on hand and just look around. I would also take a notepad and pen and write down a "wishlist". Then I would re organize the list to make it in priority order with all the corresponding prices. When I had some money I would buy 1 or 2 items at the top of my list. I would only bring the amount of money to buy those specific items. Sometimes wanting something was just a spur of the moment thing and I stopped wanting it after some time has passed. Other times I craved starting a certain hobby that required so many startup materials. But for that I suggest thinking things through and asking yourself questions to see if it's worth pursuing. For things like eating out and such, I know my university mates spend money on food in the cafeteria and around the city. I personally bring my own lunch of leftover dinner in a tupperware.
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