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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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Is it even possible? - June 13th 2009, 01:58 AM

I used to tell him I had a high sex drive. He accepted it, but then it started to ruin the relationship. I still remember that one sentence he said the night he broke up with me: "All you cared about was sex!"

Could I be a sex addict?

I've been doing research, and it seems like people with a sexual addiction go out of their way to see people to have sex with (prostitutes, affairs, and the like). I'm sixteen years old and I live with my mom, dad, and little sister - I can't sneak out of the house to go have sex with random people (illegally, might I add). Never mind the fact that I can't drive. But I can't get the thoughts of having sex out of my head. I really want to, but at the same time I feel like I'm acting like a whore. My life has basically been taken over by these urges/impulses, and I can't get it back. Even after talking to my ex, he told me "just don't think about it." He doesn't get it - I can't. These thoughts have been practically controlling me for a long time. Actually, it seems to have become more pronounced after I began birth control a couple months back - but that actually decreases sexual desires, right? Also, it became more pronounced after I *almost* had sex. Three times to be exact. And I told him that it made me feel like a loser because he stopped because "it wasn't the right time" or whatever. And then I feel even more worthless because he's the only person that's ever actually been serious with me. Ugh, sorry I'm all over the place, but I can barely think straight. Goodness knows I probably left something out, too. But I feel like I'm addicted to something I can't have, and it really worries me. How could that even be possible? What should I do?
   
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Re: Is it even possible? - June 13th 2009, 02:21 AM

To clarify... are you a virgin? Or have you had sex before?






   
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Re: Is it even possible? - June 13th 2009, 02:26 AM

Oh the technicalities. I suppose I am no longer a virgin, but it certainly wasn't the whole shebang. But something did happen, yes. I guess I didn't really word my rant the best way. I'm "addicted to something I can't have," I meant because I was basically quit on three times, and those were the only times I've ever had sex. Hope that clarified.

Last edited by Good Morning; June 13th 2009 at 02:38 AM.
   
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Re: Is it even possible? - June 13th 2009, 05:52 AM

Ah, yes. Thank you for clarifying. Because in my mind, that makes a world of difference.

It's one thing to be addicted to sex (which, yes, it is possible to be addicted to sex - just as it is possible to be addicted to, say, pornography - and just because you aren't or are unable to patrol the streets for random sexual partners doesn't mean that you can't be a sex addict).

It's another matter entirely (at least, I think so) to be addicted to the IDEA of having sex. And who can blame you? The media plays up how wonderful sex is, and how good it feels. People we know who are sexually active play up how awesome it is to have that kind of intimacy with another person (whether it be a casual or long-term relationship).

I guess you have to ask yourself: What are your reasons for wanting to have sex? Is it about you experiencing pleasure? Is it about taking your relationship with a loved one a step further? Is it about just "getting it over with"? Or is it about proving that you are desired by others? Is this about physical or emotional needs?






   
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Re: Is it even possible? - June 14th 2009, 01:55 PM

maybe its a hormonal thing? since teens are in the hormone raging years...?
   
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Re: Is it even possible? - June 15th 2009, 01:22 AM

It's not so much the pleasure of it as it is the emotional part. I'm sure hormones play into it as well, but I honestly think it's because I like the feeling of being desired. When my ex stopped those three times, I felt like crap. I didn't know what I did wrong and I felt like he didn't care enough about me to do it. Plus to hear about how everybody else's sex lives are and hearing about past stories of my ex (who was arguably a manwhore) don't do anything good for me. I really want to be able to achieve or get back to that rank of being wanted that it's starting to affect how I think. I just don't know how I can get over that feeling.
   
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