Shopping.

[Singing to the starlight]

I'm aware someone has written a thread about this lately, but my situation is once again, slightly different.

Its getting really bad. I've always been a binger. A binge drinker, eater, smoking weed and such. Now I've got a job and money...its shopping. I'm going to have to start paying rent soon and I can't keep this up. I got paid 2 days ago and I've already spent £200.

What on? Nothing really. Alcohol, clothes online and toiletries online. Its not like I can just stay inside and avoid shops because I'm almost constantly on ebay. I hate it in the morning when I wake up and I don't have a parcel through the letterbox. I can't afford this. I really really really really cannot afford this.

Help me. I'm out of control.

[Singing to the starlight]

Help. Someone, please.
Its 1.46 am and I just spent another £30 on lingerie I don't need
(On the internet)

[Emily.]

Hey there Hannah.

This does sound like you might be developing a bit of an addiction to this. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to make it difficult to purchase things. Maybe give your cards to someone you trust that way the temptation to use them isn't just sitting right there in front of you. Or you could cancel the cards all together. Then you would just have to actually go to the store and use cash. Sometimes when you can actually physically see the money leaving your hand, it's easier to keep from purchasing things.

If this addiction gets really bad, it might be a good idea to get counseling for it. Eventually you could really overspend and get yourself into a lot of trouble. It's good that you are recognizing the problem now though.

I hope you are doing okay. You can get through this.
<3 Emily

[Singing to the starlight]

Thing is I use paypal so all it takes is one password, and I've paid. I don't have anyone I trust enough to change the password for me and I can't stop using it as I buy a lot of my basics online (batteries etc) as its cheaper and I can buy in bulk. However, I always buy things I don't need as well. (Dvd's, clothes, shoes, toiletries, computer games etc)

I can't get rid of my cards as I don't live near a bank so I need it to get money out and use in shops, and I can't quit my bank all together because I need an account for my wages to go into.

[Emily.]

What about opening a savings account? This way you could deposit some of your paycheck in there and it would be less accessible to you. If you limit what's in your checking, you won't be as able to overspend.

[WillO'Wisp]

Avoid eBay and avoid going to the mall. Try doing something else more productive with your time, go our for walks and just avoid shops, avoid malls for awhile, and if that doesn't help you could try councilling for addictive behaviors.
Oh, you could leave your money or your credit card at home when you go for walks, so that way if something tempts you to buy it, you won't have the money to do it. That might help also.

[Singing to the starlight]

True. Although I don't know if I'll be able to avoid shopping sites. They're so easy to get to...

I like the idea of the savings account.
I've noticed I tend to buy two things a day. These range between £4-£10. (on the internet) and about once-twice a week I'll buy a bigger thing between £15-£75. I'm always broke half way through the month.

[iHEAVENn]

Block the shopping websites.
If you can't figure out how to do so, call in a computer tech or take your computer to a tech and tell him which sites to block
Then you wont be able to get on and buy anything.
Online shopping habbit=over.

Controlling yourself in public though... that will be tricky

[Singing to the starlight]

Theres so many websites. and I need ebay for cirtain things I buy each month (batteries, toiletries etc).

I'm just so tired of living for my next payday, and for my next shop. And then feeling crap ten minutes after.

[EightEleven91]

I dont think you're addicted to be honest.
Your 18 (like me) You work (unlike me, ive just come back from working abroad in Portugal) and you have your first few pay cheques and all people who get alot more money than they're used to start spending it on crap, its the freedom of having the money, its also a part of growing up and learning about what you actually need. But yeah, first year or 2 you will waste money on stuff you really dont need.
Im the same, when I had my job I bought a brand new phone, week later I bought another one! Then I bought clothes, including a pair of white pumps I've never worn that cost me £85.
Thats what I put it down to anyway, ask anybody they'll encourage you to carry on, unless ofcourse you have bills and a family to feed.
But yeah You get my point now hopefully.

[Singing to the starlight]

Thank you Dan. I do think my spending is a bit unhealthy. Its all I think about a lot of the time, and if I'm resisting buying something, it really is all I think about. However, you've made me feel a bit better. I accepted it was kind of because I Suddenly had more money but I thought the novelty would have worn off by now (its been 8-9 months now)

[St.Vincent]

Hmm, maybe you just need to divert your energies into something more wholesome, and grounding. I find that I spend less money and waste less when I'm involved with community service, soup kitchens and volunteering. It helps me see how people get by on so much less, and it's rewarding to enjoy the best things in life (which aren't things, at all) with them.

[Singing to the starlight]

Thats true. Due to my odd working patterns I don't often have much time I can dedicate to something regularly... However, I'm thinking taking up my painting again, or start editing my clothes again....

I've just spent another £70 on shoes...

[St.Vincent]

Maybe stay away from editing clothes, or clothes anything. A lot of volunteer places will be happy for your help, even if it's erratic. Think of it, any help is better than none, right?

I mean, try to find a hobby that doesn't involve buying stuff, even if it's just playing with kids or walking dogs or something. You need to get out of the consumerist rut and into something satisfying in a free way.

[Singing to the starlight]

Thank you everyone who's replied.
I'm aware I need something to stop me spending when I feel like it...I'll figure it out somehow.

[Megan1]

Maybe you could figure out how much money you can afford to spend on things just for fun or just to shop per week, or per month. That way you can spend that much money and then tell yourself when you have to stop. Or, maybe sell some of the things that you don't need any more on ebay, so that you are able to afford to spend a little bit more?