Compulsive Lying

[flippinmayonnaise]

As I've gotten older, I've noticed an exacerbated amount of lies I've begun to tell- not necessarily about "major" things, but quite frankly, I've probably told a lie about just about everything.

I'm not a bad person. I don't feel good when I lie. For some reason, I find it fascinating to be able to manipulate somebody so easily. The thing is, there is no reason why I lie; I'm not seeking attention, etc. etc. so I am quite confused.

Recently, through research, I've discovered that I think I'm a compulsive liar. It has apparently been linked to psychological disorders, such as OCD, which I exude many small symptoms of.

I guess I just, don't know what to do. I've never been caught lying; the people closest to me think that I am one of the most honest people. When I think about that, I feel awful. My poor boyfriend, who I love, has recieved a large brunt of my lies...and I just don't know what to do. I've already resolved to make an effort to not lie anymore, but I want to cry thinking about it. I just wish I could start over.

When I was researching, I typed, "How to deal with being a compulsive liar" into google, and all of the links were about how to deal with compulsive liars. They made us sound horrible.

I guess I'm just wondering if anybody considers themself one, or has any advice for me? I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

[EightEleven91]

What things do you lie about? Give some examples.

[Emily.]

Hey there.

First off it's really good that you are able to accept you might have a problem and are willing to do something about this. Compulsive lying is a disorder only a mental health professional can diagnose, but if it is something you have and are struggling with, there is help out there.

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to see a psychologist or other professional who can help you work through this and stop the lies. It will take some hard work on your part, but it definitely can be done.

If you can, try and stop and think about what you say before you say it. And if you do catch yourself telling a lie, try and stop it or correct yourself after it comes out.

I hope you are doing okay.
<3 Emily

[iDream]

I understand where you're coming from, I feel the same way about myself. I'll start out with the truth but then my imagination gets the best of me and starts making stuff up the farther I go! I'm gonna follow this thread to see if anyone else suggests anything.. <<;

[SmokeyTheBear]

What have you lied to people like your boyfriend about? I occasionally lie about little things just to manipulate as you said, or often to avoid embarrassment. As long as the information you withhold doesn't harm anybody, there is no reason to panic.

[Briana]

Hey! I just wanted to tell you that you are not the only one. I use to be a compulsive liar but then I slowly grew out of it. Maybe, when you feel like you are going to lie, catch yourself and try not to. Trust me, I know that is easier said than done. But if you don't try, you will never know. When Iwas trying to stop, I told one of my close friends and they helped me to stop. When I would be about to lie, I would tell them and they would help me. Deffiantely talk it out to people. Explain to people that you are a compulsive liar but trying to recover. If you need anything, let me know.

[lea-x-fallen]

ive noticed i lie a lot about stupid things, but i admit straight away after, or see how far i can push things and see what people believe like i saw hitler on trial, but i told my mum it was hitler on ice just to see her face. just try controlling and thinking of what you're saying. and maybe when you've told a lie admit to it. people then take it as a joke more than an insult

[floatingangel]

hey jen, i can say that i relate with you.. normally i lie to protect myself. i used to lie to avoid conversations from leading to uncomfortable places and lie to see people's reactions and stuff. but that changed a few years ago when i realised that it felt good to mean what i say, nothing more nothing less. and also coz i wanted to be a truthful testimony for God. (:
and i think compulsive lying really is a habit and it doesn't go away overnight and doesn't go away completely very easily. maybe you can try writing down wat you've lied about that day in some kind of journal? keeping track of it can help you be aware of wat lies you make and it can help u track your progress in reducing them (:

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hey Jen,

Well, to start, I am a compulsive liar. I am in therapy for it right now. Like you found when you researched, mine is linked with depression. The thing that I found through therapy is that once the "trigger" or "cause" is better then the lying starts to stop. For me, when I have good days, I don't usually lie. It's new for me. I used to not be able to go a full day without telling a lie.

It really does that time though Jen. It takes a lot of strength to admit it to people. The people around you should be informed that you are a compulsive liar. Trust me, I know from experience that if you lie to them, and then you tell them to truth or they find it out through other people, it doesn't end well. I've lost many great friendships to my lying. It's hard. So I recommend telling them that you have this problem but your working to overcome it. Are you willing to work though?

I recommend seeing a therapist/psychiatrist. I was put on my depression meds and they have been helping me with both. Also, a good idea is a lie journal. Kind of like how some people who are dieting write down everything they eat, and then they slowly start eating less. This is because it is right there in black and white. You have to acknowledge it. It is hard the first couple times you go and try and journal because you don't wanna admit your lies, even where no one can see them. It takes guts though. It took a lot of guts for you to admit it out in the forum so I think you can do it!

If you ever need anyone to talk to about it, feel free to PM me. I'm working through mine right now and I'd love to help you out.

Good luck Jen!

[Anonymity]

I lie quite a bit. For the most part, it's just applying poetic license to reality, but sometimes it's something that can get me in trouble. My boyfriend knows I'm a compulsive liar, and he's gotten used to me saying something, then turning around and saying "actually that's a lie." It's really helpful when I'm able to call myself out like that.

[Archie Wrath]

Just today I told about twenty lies.
My sister bought this shirt and didn't want it so she offered it to my brother. He didn't want it, besides, it was too small. So I said I'd take it. As soon as he realised I wanted it he decided to keep it and put it in his room.
A few days later I took it out of his room and put it in my closet.
Today, a month later, he realises it's gone. He goes whining to our mother that I stole it. Of course, I deny it. Several times. My mother suggests that maybe he put it in the laundry and forgot. As soon as they are out of sight, I grab the shirt, run down, and shove it in the laundry basket, underneath a pile of my brother's clothes.
Later my mother, in a gross invasion of privacy AND while I'm not at home, looks in my closet. No shirt. When she goes to put the laundry in the machine, she finds the shirt and tells my brother to apologise, which he does, and I respond by telling him to F--K OFF.

The entire experience totally made my day. I've been laughing over it for hours. I don't see anything immoral about it, as my brother is mean-spirited, continually damaging those around him, besides being a racist homophobe. He's hardly even a person. And I enjoy it, I guess. I can't understand how it could be wrong when no one's hurt and I got a good laugh.