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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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DragonRider Offline
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I need to stop lying - February 25th 2010, 07:37 PM

First off, I noticed there was already a thread about lying in here, but that person refers to compulsive lying and I don't think I'm a compulsive liar. From what I can understand, compulsive lying is lying by reflex and even when confronted with the truth, insisting that the lie is the truth. That doesn't sound like me.

I didn't think much of my lying at first. In fact, I don't really remember when 'at first' was. I mean, everybody lies, right? Yeah, well, I lie a lot. It's not usually lying in the sense of someone asks me if I've done something and I say yes even though I haven't, it's more making things up.

I invent situations, things that have happened or things that I've done. But more importantly, I invent people. Friends I know from my dance class or from primary school. I know every detail about these people; their names, what they look like, their family, how much money they have, where they go to school and where they live. I lie about things I've done with them and things they've said. It sounds pathetic when I think about it; like I have no friends. But I do have friends - my friends are the ones I'm telling about these people - so I don't know why I do it. Of course, the problem with lying in any case is inconsistencies. The minute you say something that doesn't add up, people get suspicious. I'm terrified that if my friends find out I've been inventing people, they'll think I'm an idiot.
The worst part of this is that the line between reality and and whatever my overactive imagination is coming up with is fading. Sometimes I don't remember what's real and what isn't. I forget that these 'friends' I've made up aren't real. And it frightens me.

I know the easiest thing to say is "just don't lie", but I can't help it. It just comes out. I feel like I should tell someone, but to talk to my friends and say "So basically, I lie to you about random things a lot of the time" I think would make the fact that I'm breaking their trust all the more real. I don't know how they would respond; if they would resent me for it. I wish I could tell them so that they know and understand, and whenever I blurt out something untrue I can just say "Actually, that was a lie."
I'm not sure about telling my family, either. I don't lie to them as much, but think I'd still feel stupid telling them about it and that they'd think I was stupid.

Any ideas/experiences/advice will be greatly appreciated.


"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" ~ Ernest Gaines

She was whole before that night,
Believed in heaven before that night,
And she's not the only one,
She knows she won't be the only one.
She's not asking what you're going to tell your daughter,
She's asking what you're going to teach your son.
   
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Re: I need to stop lying - February 26th 2010, 12:13 PM

wow, well i too have lied about many things. Lying isn't good so you need to definitely stop. I believe the reason you keep going with your lies is because you like telling people something interesting and you like to entertain them with stuff they would be cool if it were true. You need to stop before you get to carried away...just try to tell the truth more often and don't ever go back to those lie. Say your not a Sagittarius are you? mmm. well deep down inside you will know what to do.God-bless
   
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Re: I need to stop lying - February 27th 2010, 12:48 AM

This sounds exactly like me.

I think it's mostly trying to fit in...or like kim said, finding something interesting to say...Or just so they think I'm not a hermit crab which I guess I can be...

I really don't know though. I'm just guessing >.<


Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise.
-Les Miserables
   
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