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.xX.shadow.Xx. Offline
;;looking for a second chance-
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Name: Aven Nikolai
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Unhappy All of the above? - December 10th 2010, 02:53 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I need someone to help me, because I don't know what to do to fix myself so I don't fuck up again. I'm a whore, addicted to being used and abused. And even moving hasn't helped, I only ended up finding another pimp to give my control over to. I'm not sure why it's so easy for someone to own me, maybe because of the abuse I've gone through. But I want to stop, I try to, but I can't seem to find a reason to fight, I want to, but it's like running into a wall, I can't find the power to say "I don't want this to happen" at least, not when it's happening.

...I don't know what else to tell you, but, please? Help me?
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Re: All of the above? - December 11th 2010, 01:54 AM

Hey there Aven,

I'm sorry you are going through all of this. Have you ever tried talking to anyone? I really think it would benefit you to talk with a therapist. I know that can be a scary thought, but you deserve the help and support, Aven. It takes hard work and time to heal from abuse and problems in our past, but you can overcome it.

And you can learn to say "no" and keep yourself out of those bad situations. As silly as it may sound, you can even practice in the mirror. You are in control and you don't have to go along with what anyone else wants. It's your life and your choice. When you've experienced abuse and had all control stripped from you, sometimes it's just easier to give over that control to the next abusive person that comes along. We can get trapped in this cycle of being used and hurt and it's scary, but you can get out of this and you can heal, okay? Don't give up.

Keep yourself safe and I'm here if you ever want to talk. Please reach out and get help. Talk to someone.
<3 Emily

"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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Re: All of the above? - December 13th 2010, 03:58 AM

Hey there,

Wanting to stop this is the first step. Your past may be what is causing you to want this. I would really recommend talking to a therapist.

Wanting someone to have control over you may be because you are feeling helpless already or very self-conscious. You may also be really needing someone to love you and want you.

You need to take a step back and look at yourself and find things that you love about yourself. Make some plans with your friends and try and hang out with them as much as possible. You can say no, and you can make your own decisions. Its going to take some effort and practice, but eventually you can and will get through this.

Best of luck!

And here you are living, despite it all.
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