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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Addicted to animals? - January 18th 2011, 07:54 AM

At this time last year, I had over 100 pets. 75 of them were domestictated rats. I spent more money than I made on them, and barely slept. All of my energy was spent caring for them.
Today, I have 18 pets total. 4 of them are family pets, and only 6 of them are rats. I have made the decision that I want to get 2 more rats. And my boyfriend doesnt agree with my decision. I am a drug/alcohol addict, and I own up to that. And to some extent I believe that I have the potential to be a full blown animal hoarder. But I feel like I have control over my addiction to animals. He thinks I am getting animals to fill a void. And a part of me can see his point. But at the same time, he is part of the problem. I have a habit of getting animals when I feel like someone I care about is leaving me. People constantly walk out of my life, my animals dont. And my boyfriend keeps talking about the possibility of us splitting up soon. The 2 rats that I'm getting this week, I already care about. Ive even named them: Dominic and Jace.
Its not like I get my animals and forget about them. From the time that I get them, till the time that they pass, I give them the best. possible. care. I love them with everything I have.
I just dont understand why people have to attack the things that matter to me most, the one thing that makes me the happiest.
It just makes me sad because I feel so misunderstood.
I dont know what to do anymore. Any advice?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addicted to animals? - January 18th 2011, 04:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thegirlnextdoor89 View Post
he is part of the problem. I have a habit of getting animals when I feel like someone I care about is leaving me. People constantly walk out of my life, my animals dont. And my boyfriend keeps talking about the possibility of us splitting up soon.
Tell your boyfriend exactly that, hopefully he'l understand. That's the first thing you should try.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addicted to animals? - January 19th 2011, 05:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thegirlnextdoor89 View Post
He thinks I am getting animals to fill a void.
Have you thought that maybe he is right?


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Re: Addicted to animals? - January 19th 2011, 07:30 PM

See, thing is, I think I really do understand where you're coming from here. I think I do the same thing. I only have five pets at the moment, but it's taking me real willpower to not get more. Every time I see an animal, I just want it, to take care of it and to love it and make sure it gets a brilliant life, and even the feeling of when people keep attacking what's dear to you, since my parents absolutely hate all of my animals. I keep feeling everyone I care about just disapproves and I keep wanting to get more and more... I guess I'm just lucky I'm so skint .

But I do understand how you feel though. Thing is, I don't see what's wrong with keeping animals, as long as you can afford and look after them, and I think to be honest your boyfriend should keep out of your business, especially if he's being as shallow as to split up over it. He should respect and love you for who you are, not try to change to fit his ideas. I'm thinking you should still try to explain to him that it's him threatening to walk out that's making you feel this way.




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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Addicted to animals? - January 20th 2011, 02:29 AM

Hey there Jen,

I think maybe your boyfriend is just worried that things may get out of hand again. Was he there when you had nearly 100 pets? The people around you see how much you're hurting yourself by expending all your energy on your pets and I'm sure they worry that may happen again. Maybe try sitting down and explaining how you're feeling to your boyfriend. Also, I think it would be a good idea to set a limit for yourself. You'll be up to 20 pets if you get two more and a lot of people would find that overwhelming and to be a lot. You still need time for yourself and to focus on the people around you. It may simply be that your boyfriend feels you're expending your love and time on your pets and not on him. I'm sure with that many pets you have to spend a lot of time with them already.

The best thing you can do is talk to him. Find out exactly how he's feeling and why and explain your side of things. It may be you'll have to compromise on it, too. Maybe only add one pet at a time and keep the total number under something you can agree on. They may be your pets, but they affect his life too.

Also, there can be underlying reason why people want so many pets. You said yourself you may have the potential to be an animal hoarder and you've had problems with drugs/alcohol. Have you ever given therapy a try? Just something to keep in mind. It may help you figure out why you feel the need to have so many pets and how you can find other things you love and enjoy just as much.

I hope you're doing okay and you can PM me if you ever want to talk.
<3 Emily


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but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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