Non-PG13 (Strong Language): kind of weird. please though

[bipolar]

hi. i'm bipolar. this might sound kinda of weird, but im addicted to being bad. only in my manic state. i know this is normal for bipolar people, but its really severe. im twelve years old. i drink A LOT but never get drunk, i have smoked before, and have strong urges to do it again. and i fucking take pills. a lot of pills. i take painkillers, nothing else, and no more than one at a time, but i am full out addicted to them. i feel like i have to take one asap when i wake up in the morning, and during my lunch period i sneak one in and use the water fountain to wash it down, as i dont eat lunch. i am also addicted to cutting myself. the scars... i love them. im addicted to kinda being a bitch i guess tooo... but yeah, can anyone tell me if this is part of the disorder or what.?

[Thirteen]

First of all, were you officially DIAGNOSED with Bipolar Disorder? Seeing as you're 12 (or 16? Your age says 16), you're just starting to go through puberty. As anybody who has been through puberty can tell you, your moods will change, you'll want to behave badly at least once in your life (whether drinking, smoking, sexually acting out, whatever else), and you'll feel like one day you're happy, next you're depressed.

Seeing as the symptoms you've described are actually too broad to determine if there is a disorder, or if you're just experiencing hormones, it's hard to tell you if it has any relation to a disorder or not.

[Maverick.]

Yes it is. Some symptoms of Bi-polar are mood and activity swings. You change behavior within minutes. You could be calm and collected one minute, wild and active the next. This also includes being conspicuous and hyperactive, in your case I guess misbehaving also comes into play.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

Hey there.

As Julz has already mentioned, if you aren't officially diagnosed with bipolar then the symptoms you are describing may be part of puberty. Most doctors won't diagnose bipolar until after puberty. However, if you are worried about mood swings, talk to your parents/doctor/school counselor, as even mood swings due to puberty can be scary.

If you have already been diagnosed as bipolar, then you need to talk to your doctor because if your mood swings are really bad and being manic is putting yourself at risk, there are things they can do, for example medication if this is necessary.

But definitely, dangerous behavior can be a symptom of the manic side of bipolar.

Hester.

[bipolar]

i've been diagnosed. yeah. and i know its weird i'm just wondering if like this is why..

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

My guess is that it is, and if it's bothering you or putting you in danger you should definitely mention it to your doctor.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I'm confused from the start. How old are you? 12 or 16? Are you taking medication for bipolar?

A key issue is the drugs you're taking as they're going to affect the efficiency of mood-stabilizers and any other medications. They also can contribute to your current behaviour. If and when you see your psychiatrist, you need to tell him/her about the drugs you're taking as well as your self-harm as these pose a more immediate danger to yourself than the bipolar disorder itself.

Lastly, I'm not understanding part of your first post. You said you're addicted to being bad, bitch-like and to your manic episodes. I can understand the latter but can you explain the difference between your behaviours of being bad and being bitch-like?