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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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cherryqueen1248 Offline
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liar liar pants on fire - July 13th 2011, 03:11 AM

I lie my way out of everything, and I lie my way into some things as well. There are only a few people I haven't lied to. I make up relationships with people I want to be friends with to people I am friends with, I tell some of my friends lies to get into or out of social events, I have even gone as far as made up people and relationships with them. I have been a liar for a long time and have honestly got pretty good at it, but I'm always afraid some of them will get crossed and I'll loose friends.
I want to change and be honest with everyone about my life. Maybe not telling them what I've been saying are lies, but just by ending the lies and getting back to the truth.
I think I have been so unsure of myself and my life that I make up stuff that makes me sound better even though now that I've gained self confidence its gotten so bad I can't get out of the habit.
I've been ranting and I'm sorry but any advice?
   
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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 13th 2011, 04:31 AM

I can't help you much here, but I have the same issue, bloody bad habbit, but at least it's something I'm good at. :/


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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 13th 2011, 10:58 PM

There really isn't a whole lot you can do! Just try to kick the habit.
Often lying emerges as a result of a feeling of inadequacy, or a need to keep the truth from people and thus end up less vulnerable. Take a deep breath, think about the person you are speaking with and what they would say if they knew you were lying, open your mouth, and speak the truth. After you do this you will feel a release of guilt and relief. Telling the truth is often easier than thinking of a lie and trying to remember it later. You could start by confessing and apologizing for small lies. Overall you just have to try to catch yourself. Start telling small truths. You know. All that good stuff.

Good luck.



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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 14th 2011, 12:11 AM

What constitues as a lie? It may not be a problem at all.

No one likes a liar, but we sure as hell hate people who always tell you truth.
"You're smart? You don't look smart!"
"You love this movie but it's stupid."
"Johnny was lying when he said he didn't lose his housekey!"

I mean lying to cover a friend (Despite what we have been told since birth) is fine as long as your friend is no endangering their life. Lying is okay if it's really something better left lied about. Lying is okay to boost the self esteem of others. Lying to protect personal privacy is okay. Lying is okay as long as no one is harmed by it.

Adults lie often and without remorse. Lying is apart of life. Compulsive lying or lying to harm others is not.You must determine if your lying is complusive or harmful before you can adress the problem (If there even is one)

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Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick, erase it,
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Load it, check it, quick, rewrite it"
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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 14th 2011, 06:28 AM

I know how you feel. The best advice that I can give is to get a journal, and jot down all our thoughts. You obviously have issues with being truthful to others, so use the journal as the means to get the truth out. Have conversations with yourself in the mirror. If you know you did wrong, fess up to it. Everytime you lie, you have to come up with another lie to cover that one, and so on and so forth. Don't think that the other person can't handle the truth. If you didn't do something, be truthful about it. The person would rather you be honest, rather than lie. I really hope that you overcome this.


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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 15th 2011, 03:04 PM

I honestly had this problem for about two years, I don't have it so much anymore. But I do get it occasionally. I found that keeping myself busy by going out stopped me from doing this, I made up things inside my head because I was alone most of the time. Write down things in journals, sometimes you have to be honest about the lying your doing, it's a bad habit to break but if you explain to people they will understand and it'll give you a clean slate to start on. The sooner you admit to it the easier it is, but keep yourself busy, that helped me.


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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 18th 2011, 04:44 AM

How do we know you're not lying about this...? :P

But maybe before focusing on the lies you tell others, you should focus on the lies you tell yourself. Do you believe the lies you tell yourself? Take a good honest look in the mirror and rattle off your life story. Your name, your friends, what you love to do. Take the time to make sure you know yourself. You first must be able to accept the truth of who you are, a wonderful person at that. Then it'll be much easier to tell the truth about yourself to others. Take it one step at a time and be patient with yourself. You'll most likely make a few mistakes here and there but take it as another learning opportunity rather than a reason to criticize yourself. Good luck and I wish you the best!
   
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Re: liar liar pants on fire - July 20th 2011, 08:24 PM

I definitely know how you feel. I wish I had a solution, but I don't. I've been dealing with the same thing for years. It seems like it's an impossible habit to kick, but I need to change it. I feel awful knowing how much I've lied to some of the most important people in my life. Even if I do manage to start telling the truth from now on, is it still considered lying if we're not telling them that some of the things we said are lies?? Sorry . . confusing thought.


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