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Addictive Behaviours Discuss and receive support for addictions not related to substance use, such as gambling, Internet, sex or work addictions, in this forum.

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darienne(: Offline
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Addicted to looks from older guys - March 11th 2012, 03:14 AM

Okay soo its really hard to explain but Im going to try to explain my situation. I dont know if i put this in the right forum buuuuut i didnt know where to put it.

So I have this thing with guys. It doesnt matter who the guy is or how old (unless its family) but I like them lookin at me and flirting with me and all that. Of course im not as stupid as i would tell them where I live or my number but I like older guys to look at me like im something special. And I dont know why nor do i know how to stop it. I think its weird to walk into a place and want most of the guys to look at you in a good way. I was at a pool hall yesterday and I saw this older guy and his son lookin at me, admiring me. I liked the attention. Later the guy came up to me and asked if I was with someone. I told him Im 16, and he was like ohh im sorry i didnt mean to. Then he was like hey my son is 16 you want his number? I didnt. They left. My brother made sure of that. But then some other people came in. There was a cute guy who would look at me. And I knew he did. When I would play pool i would bend over the table to get "just the right shot".... Its messed up isnt it? I dont know why I do that! Its like an obsession though, I know what im doing when I do it and I like the attention I get from it. All I can think about now is going back to that pool hall and hoping there are more guys there.. and not wanting to be with my brothers when I go........... Any advice or ideas??
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Stupidity Kills
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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 12th 2012, 03:42 AM

This seems to be less of an addiction and more of wanting to be the center of attention. Generally, when people seek attention there may be an underlying reason, such as getting attention in order to get someone's phone number, pick-pocket or simply hone your skills of getting attention and seduction, or some other purpose. Most people like positive attention, you're just increasing it. Places such as pool halls are perfect places to gain attention since there is ample supply of people, everyone tends to be willing to engage and flirting is appropriate. Some of it may be rebelling against your brothers who are protective. As a guy, I flirt a fair bit with the ladies at campus, usually not at a pool hall simply because there isn't any near-by where I live, and the pool tables at campus are in a painfully loud area. Our reasons differ in that I do accept their phone numbers, however, their are similarities because we both hone our skills. Chances are, there's another for you, I don't know what it is because the only information was a blurb on the Internet.

I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 12th 2012, 07:11 AM

There is nothing wrong with liking that kind of attention and having your good looks acknowledged. One thing I'd advise you to remember is that in an actual relationship it is important to be love and adored for your personality and who you are. Being a flirt is fine and showing off, but going into a relationship because a guy likes you for your looks will probably leave you with your heart broken.

Also, older guys are typically into younger girls because they view them as easy to get. I've seen a lot of girls get their heart broken because some older a**ho** took advantage of them.

Feel free to message me if you need help with anything.

Last edited by Lion Heart; March 12th 2012 at 07:19 AM.
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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 12th 2012, 02:58 PM

There's nothing wrong with wanting positive attention from the opposite sex. Since you aren't acting on it by giving them your number or anything like that, I don't really see the problem. If it's truly a concern for you, just try to be more conscious of your body language and the way you dress. If it's not overly suggestive, you're less likely to draw such attention from men.

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 22nd 2012, 09:38 AM

You will get hurt because older guys that you talk about are only interested in satisfying their selfishness.

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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 22nd 2012, 05:45 PM

Hun, the issue here isn't liking the attention..who doesn't like attention?...it's needing it as strongly as you do. Especially when on some level you realize it's not entirely safe or desirable or appropriate. And , in spite of all that, you feel you cannot control the urge to get it.

Where does it come from? That's a good question, and one you might try to answer. The best way to do that is to stay away, that way, the tension will rise to the level where it might be easier to figure it out. Like anything else, sometimes the 'More' of something there is, the easier it is to see. Same with tension. You go, it reduces the tension, so there's less chance that you'll figure out why you're doing this.

I'll give you a little hint, though: Typically girls NEED attention because they feel they haven't gotten enough of it, they feel deprived or neglected emotionally on some level. The clue to who that might be from is found in your attraction to 'Older' guys...

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
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Re: Addicted to looks from older guys - March 22nd 2012, 05:48 PM

There's nothing wrong with wanting attention or flirting with older guys. As long as you're not doing anything inappropriate, I don't really see the problem there. Like Sammi said, if its genuinely a concern, dress differently and change the way you act in front of guys.
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