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-   -   Still lacking confidence. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f126-goals-ambitions/t130679-still-lacking-confidence/)

Counted Heart. May 1st 2014 09:53 AM

Still lacking confidence.
So quite a while ago I kind of failed my driving test (on a couple of very minor things which I recognised right away), and I've never managed to talk myself into going for it again. All of my friends (and I mean all of them) find driving easy and even enjoy it, which makes it all the more frustrating to me because I don't enjoy it and I have to work quite hard at it; it just doesn't come naturally to me. But it's getting to the point where being able to drive would definitely be an advantage, so I'm trying to persuade myself to try again. The problem is, I still remember how I felt when I failed last time. It took me longer than I care to admit to rationalise it and be relatively okay with it, and I'm not sure I can go through that again if I fail this time.

I'm going to do a lot more practice before I do try again, so I'm not really looking for tips on how to actually get better at driving - just how to feel better. I was never confident with it beforehand, and I went way back past square one when I didn't pass. So how can I deal with that residual lack of confidence, and stop it getting in the way this time?

(Feel free to move this if you think it fits better somewhere else; I just put it here because this has been a major goal I've been putting off for months.)

cynefin May 1st 2014 02:12 PM

Re: Still lacking confidence.
Hey Chess! ^.^

I actually nearly failed my test, too. My instructor kept touching my hands and getting too close - I got desperate enough to want to pass and I eventually told him why and I believe that's honestly why I passed. Personally, I'd rather be a passenger with my ear buds in so I can stare out the window. :nosweat: If it makes you feel better, I almost took out someone's mailbox.

I think the reason why you feel like this (I felt it too) is because sometimes instructor's are a little strict and hard on us with corrections but it is for our own good as well as for the other people on the road. It's challenging for people to take corrections sometimes because they don't like to feel as if they have done something wrong.

This is going to sound insane, but I used to get really nervous before class and there was only one way I could handle it. I focused on the music I was listening to on the way there and memorized the full album. What helped me the most was trying not to think about it at all until I had to be there. Think of it this way - you don't really have to focus on driving when you are outside of the testing area. You can, but its not a necessity. Think of it as a mental break. When you're taking your test is the only time you absolutely have to focus on it. And you know what else? See if rewarding yourself for every small achievement regarding driving helps you out. Maybe you could go out and treat yourself to something nice afterwards. :)

You are awesome, and you're amazing and I know that you can do this. Kick some butt, girl! :hehe:

Counted Heart. May 14th 2014 03:51 AM

Re: Still lacking confidence.
Thank you so much. :hug: For me it's not so much the instructor being too strict - it's me being hard on myself. Which is another issue entirely I suppose. So thank you again, and I'll try to take your advice on board. :)

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