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Age: 25
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How do I move out ASAP?I'm almost 20 and still unemployed, stuck out in the middle of nowhere with Internet that barely works most of the time, which - October 24th 2015, 05:28 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

makes it even harder to make much money online.

I've never had a job and still can't get one, but if I can't get out of here soon I want to kill myself so I can no longer suffer.

This is a rental house, but to my (kind of expected at this point) horror, my mom said she might rent the house for another year, cause moving is too much of a hassle. I have not seen another person outside of my family for over a year now. The only way I can make any money at all is online surveys but I'm lucky if I make more than $50 in one month.

I can't drive, and probably never will (I have wanted to live in a city forever and be able to walk everywhere anyway, but it makes it harder to get to that point) which is a HUGE problem. The last time I tried driving I almost died and would rather just cut to the chase and kill myself so I don't have to drive and be full of horror everyday coming closer to death than I ever have.

I can not join the military cause I'm too f***ed up in the head for their standards. I'm going to snap if I can't escape and have a life soon, and I'm going to do something that could ruin my already hopeless future, or get me killed, whether I kill myself or somebody else kills me.

I can't deal with even one more year (could even be more!) of living alone in isolation, I'd rather be dead than deal with this for even one more year. [Edited by eumoirous]
Update 2: I even tried asking neighbors if I could do any work for them (there are a few neighbors out here) but they all said no.

People online tell me I need to get out of this toxic environment any possible way I can. I agree! Other people say I should be happy to live at home as long as I can, to those people I say F*** YOU!
There is NO WHERE for a job that I can walk to. I tried walking to town once, and after 2 hours I was still way out in the country, about to pass out on the road. I get super tired in just a few minutes if I try biking on these roads. Walking is MUCH easier, but not faster.
Someone told me to collect social security checks, deposit them into my bank account, so I could move to a city so I could finally get a job, but I don't qualify for that most likely.
I've thought about killing myself many times. I thought about running in front of fast cars (I lived right by a highway last year, now I don't). I thought about stabbing myself in the heart with a knife (I'm too much of a wuss to kill myself in any way). I thought about drinking bleach. I don't have access to a gun and don't know what could hold something to hang myself.
There's pretty much NO options for someone in my situation.

Last edited by Eternal; October 24th 2015 at 03:31 PM. Reason: Added trigger prefix + Removed mention of non PG-13 website.
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Re: How do I move out ASAP?I'm almost 20 and still unemployed, stuck out in the middle of nowhere with Internet that barely works most of the time, wh - October 24th 2015, 10:55 AM

You could apply for social security. It's a long and involved process and you usually get denied the first time which is why you appeal it. If you did get social security you'd get back pay from the time you first developed your disability and that can be a fair amount of moneymoney. However, in my state you're only allowed to have 2000 in savings or they can either take it away or lower the amount you get. You'd need doctors who would be on your side and document any disability you have. If you don't have that it will be hard to get approved since that's part of what goes into the process.

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