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ThePunkAlien Offline
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Arrow Crossing the return threshold - August 15th 2010, 10:09 AM

This is obviously the next stage in my journey. This might be hard for some to believe/understand. But, I see signs from some higher power in life and believe all things happen for a reason. My life's followed the Joseph Campbell's 'Hero Journey' straight from being an orphan all the way through. Recently atoned with my father and attained the ultimate boon. On the road of trials I learned many things needed to become the Man of Steel.

Before, I thought things were just being handed to me... now I've found out, I gotta fight to make/keep them a reality. Prior to this year I had zero self-esteem, I always saw things as my fault, but then was taught to search for other motivations... tonight was a test, took a first year law girl out - everything went great then she told me it might be fifteen weeks till she sees me again (old me would have seen this completely as her dumping me and did, new me started searching for other answers and found burden (obviously one of the greater opponents I'll fight this time, might be why I wound up a punk to stand tall - law school))

The trick in returning is to retain the wisdom gained on the quest, to integrate that wisdom into a human life, and then maybe figure out how to share the wisdom with the rest of the world. This is usually extremely difficult.
> Retain the wisdom, not everything is my fault - it's more complicated than that! The world doesn't revolve around me, I'm just an acting agent participating.
> Spread wisdom would be via writing, screenwriter.

The girl I like, I'll call her Lois, and my best friend practically brothers, I'll call him Jimmy, are both heading into first year law. From what I've heard from Lois - law school's beyond stressful. Looked it up and by third year, 40% show signs of depression and attain hazardous addictions. First year law, from what I read is designed to scare away students. Annihilating students by weeding them out via depression and anxiety... Meet the newest opponent... this beast: Law - I can't be the brooding hero playing ball in his loft anymore, this year I'm gonna have to start rising above to just...

- Maintain a relationship with Lois, making sure she's okay and bringing as much life and excitement into her day as I can.
- Make sure Jimmy's doing okay, he was always there for me now the roles are being reversed seemingly because of what Law is gonna do.
- Rise in the ranks in my own life while not selling my soul in the process.

Basically it's time for me to stop being the small town boy trapped on the farm and become the man of steel. That's the theme of the year, as I've found, everywhere and guess that's my next challenge/opponent - more "grown up" than insecurities & death (odd), but weirdly more comforting too since it's more me acting and holding the world than me falling trying to raise the world... here's to the year that's gonna make me the Man of Steel. Just another orphan boy becoming a man... Law won't win this round from either of them. I've dealt with anxiety, I've dealt with hard core depression - time to use my knowledge to greater use for helping others. All those test finally have a reason behind them... This is the return threshold.

"Maybe I just like people. Maybe sexuality isn't one thing or the other. Maybe it's just something that's shifting and moving. I just know I'm not thinking man or woman."

Last edited by ThePunkAlien; August 15th 2010 at 10:48 AM.
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Re: Crossing the return threshold - August 17th 2010, 04:27 AM

Hey there,

All of this stuff seems great. I hope it all turns out for you. I especially liked the part where you said 'But, I see signs from some higher power in life and believe all things happen for a reason.' That is the motto I live by. When I am struggling I just remind myself that all of it is happening for a reason and one day I will figure that reason out and make it back to the top.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I read your post and liked it.

Best of luck.


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Re: Crossing the return threshold - August 17th 2010, 02:34 PM

well written. good luck
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