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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
niente_ Offline
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I had this sudden thought ... - April 4th 2009, 08:46 PM

Marked as possibly triggering, but not sure.

When I was about 8 I had a best friend and me and her used to go round to each other's houses etc. We both went to the same comprehensive school but kind of losted touch, then she moved away and I've not seen or her from/about her since.

A couple of years ago I mentioned her in conversation with my mum. Then my mum told me that my friend had actually been sexually abused by a man who lived down her street at the time. My friend's mum had no idea but somehow found out, and was glad that I was a friend and helped take my friend's mine off it.

Then I just had a thought the other day about a game me and this girl used to play when we met up. We used to take it in turns to be the "victim". The other would "kidnap" the victim and tie them in a chair or on the bed, and say something like "I'm coming back verrrry soon." Then they would leave the room. They would then come back in the room as someone who was going to save the victim. They'd untie them and escape before the evil person came back. I definitly remember there being some sort of sexual feeling to it all. As if someone had kidnapped the victim and was planning to rape them.

I'm not sure exactly what my friend went through. But the thought suddenly occured to me the other day that maybe that's what she experienced, or something similar, and she was taught that it was a game, so naturally she taught it me too.

I dunno ... waddaya think?

Sometimes it's better to forget how you feel
and remember what you deserve

S. M ... still in my heart, forever
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I had this sudden thought ... - April 4th 2009, 10:45 PM

Wow, that kind of gave me chills. I bet that realization was a bit of shock to you for a bit, yeah? I'm sorry about your friend. That's horrible that she went through that. (sorry dont have much more to say atm)
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Through-Glass Offline
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Re: I had this sudden thought ... - April 4th 2009, 11:08 PM


It is very common for children who have been abused to incorporate this in their pretend-play, almost like reenacting the scenes. It is very possible that those games you used to play stemmed from things that really happened to her.

This must feel very strange. Try not to think about it too much; there was nothing wrong with these games. In fact, this type of play can be theraputic for child-victims; often, they are still too young to explain the things that happened to them. This is sometimes how they get it out of their system. It's great that she felt comfortable sharing these things with you, even if it was disguised as a game.

Take care, and if you need to talk, you know where to find me. =]

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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soul Offline
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Re: I had this sudden thought ... - April 6th 2009, 04:29 PM

Hey Sammy,

I am sorry your friend had to go through this. I think you are right and that it is likely she was reenacting something that happened to her. However, her intentions were pure. She obviously didn't understand what the 'game' really meant. Children are like sponges and they absorb up everything that happens around them. The only problem is a lot of the time they can't process all the things they see or go through fully because they don't have to intelligence to do so. I know when I was little I would recite anything knew I learned to the very first person who would listen or play along. Your friend was simply spitting back out information. She might even have been trying to deal with something she didn't understand by pretending it was a game. While this might seem a little creepy try not to put to much thought into it. She meant no harm and thats what counts. Take care.

Lots of love <3 Mimi

As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
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emilyjaynescott Offline
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Re: I had this sudden thought ... - April 9th 2009, 07:58 PM

Yes it is more than likely that your friend was taught that it was some sort of game, and the fact that she incorporated a "rescuer" into the situation could have been her playing out what she wished had happened.
However, at this stage, I'd suggest that you try not to think too much about it. Hopefully your friend is leading a better life now, away from all that. If you do wanna talk more though, feel free to pm me.

Time heals the wounds unhealable!

Feel free to talk to me if you ever need someone, I know how it can feel to be lost, to be found, to be disappointed and hurt. I also know that it can always get better!
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