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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Postman - April 5th 2009, 10:48 AM

I dont really know how to start this but recently I remembered a few things about my postman. I'm so confussed about it, I really am, he would always get me on my own, ring the door bell so I would answer the door, he would to talk to me through the lounge/sitting room/front room window. I just dont get it one little bit, I mean like he always talked to my mum, and me in the mornings as we got into the car to go to school. But when I was on my own he was different. He would ask me to do things, horrid things I did not want to do, he would tug at my clothes, he would grab my figner pull me towards him, try to kiss me, hug me, he asked me to strip as well and when I would say no he would say 'Oh come on you gotta keep the old fellow happy' and tug at my clothes and then do this awful wicked laugh he did this to me from about the age 11 - 15 because i started high school at 11 i would see him on my way to school, before when i was primary school he was the usual postman he would talk to me and my mum in the mornings, ect as i got into the car to go to primary school. things really changed when i started high school he got me on my own and would ask me to do things the asking me to do things came later when i was 15 and on study leave that when he started asking me to strip. I remeber it all so clearly i dont really know what im expecting to get from saying all this but it happened i know it happened i remember it clearly to clearly. I burried it inside and now im remembering it like a broken record its going round and round in my head i cant stop thinking about it i really cant but i just dont know what to do, i cant go to the police because i dont know where the postman is now hes retired, thats how it all stopped he retired so i didnt see him anymore, i cant tell my mum because he was nice to my mum, i dont know what to do. help please
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 11:03 AM

I'm so sorry. What he did to you was wrong. We are all here if you need us.




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 11:13 AM

I know what he did was wrong thats the thing i cant tell the police or anyone liek that hes retired i have no idea where he is.
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 01:07 PM

im sorry to hear what he did.
there is noly one thing i can think of is to try and find this guy. show him how much he hurt you.
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 01:33 PM

I am so sorry that he put you through all of that, especially when he was so two-faced making himself appear so nice to your mom. This is very traumatizing at such a young age and he made you feel so confused and upset.

The mind likes to repress these situations because it's too hard for one to handle, but then it returns. I know it must be extremely overwhelming; you have to tell yourself it is in the past, it isn't happening to you right now. You are strong, you will make it through this. He can't hurt you now, even though the memory has resurfaced.

It might be wise to talk this through with your mom. She would want to know anything that has hurt her own daughter. She does not know, since he was "nice" around her. Telling her, telling someone you trust can really help ease the full amount of burden this is. She could help you find a way to bring justice to this situation. The police could still find him. You could be saving another little girl from the same fate. I am so sorry he did such horrible things to you!

If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate to send a PM my way.
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 01:34 PM

Hey,

Not only was what he did wrong, he has no right to be able to get away with his actions. All actions have consequences; he can't be allowed to get away with hurting you like this. There's a reason this type of behavior is illegal, because it's not ok.

Whether or not he's required or even if you don't know his name, that doesn't mean there's no hope of finding him. Technology's pretty darn good these days; things are possible that weren't five, ten, fifty years ago - including tracking a person down. If you report it to the police, and give them information such as your address, what he looked like etc, there's a pretty good chance they can track him down. I'm sure the post office keeps a record of which employees worked where and when, which routes were the responsibilities of each employee and such. They can run his name through a database to see where he is, search for information on him...anything is possible, hope isn't lost of finding him. You can't give up, can't lose hope because it's worth it to take the step and report him, it really is.

Whether or not he was nice to your mum...well, that still doesn't give him any right whatsoever, to touch you or act this way towards you. And no matter how friendly he and your mum were, I think she would stand up for you - you're her daughter, and I'm sure she cares about you.

Please, don't keep quiet about this. Repressing it, pushing it to the back of your head, it's going to lead to this - to the broken record type of feeling. Talking about the past, I'm not going to lie, it can be incredibly hard at first but it's a key part to healing from this. Think about seeing a counselor about this, ok? Just consider it, because I really think it could help you cope with what happened. If you chose not to see a counselor, make sure you talk about it with someone - a close friend, your mum, talk about it here...I'm always here if you want to get anything out, all right? You aren't alone with any of this. Support is invaluable, you can never have too much of it.

My PM box is open anytime you need an ear. Take good care of yourself, keep safe and stay strong.



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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 02:26 PM

he may not even be alive anymore.
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 08:02 PM

the police can probly find the guy. you should tell the cops
   
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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 08:15 PM

i don't know if this was mentioned yet but i'm sure the post office keeps recors of mailing routs. if you really wanted to stop this guy and get some justice that would be my best bet.

and i'm really sorry to hear that. some people are just freaking sick.


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Re: Postman - April 5th 2009, 10:32 PM

Hey,

What he did to you wasn't right. He violated you and he should have to pay for what he did. You mentioned that he talked with your mother frequently. Is it possible that she might remember his name? Even just knowing his first name would help out a lot in tracking him down. Finding him and bringing him to justice is possible. It isn't your job to worry about looking for him. That is what the police are for. However, they can't help you if you don't report what went on. You are strong and you have all of us supporting you.

Have you talked about this with anyone in your real life? If you have then it might be a good idea to have them come to the police station with you to offer moral support. If you haven't then I would suggest reaching out to someone you trust. As long as they are understanding and caring you have nothing to be afraid of. Talking about things can really help with the healing process.

As you already can tell from what you are experiencing now, repressing memories and emotions doesn't work in the long run. If you bottle everything up then eventually the pressure builds and it blows up in your face. Even though you may not want to you have to face what happened in order to put it behind you. Facing what happened doesn't mean forgetting it does however mean accepting it and continuing on with life. I think you could benefit from talking things over with a counselor. They can really help you work through your feelings in a healthy way.

I just wanted to let you know how proud I am that you decided to share your story with us. It takes a lot of strength to reach out to people. I hope talking about things here has helped even if its just a little bit. If you ever need someone to talk to don't hesitate to PM me. I am never to busy to listen and I'll try my best to help. I understand some of what you're going through. You are not alone in this. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Postman - April 7th 2009, 06:30 PM

I'm scared of reporting him, i dont think i can report him, i want to but i dont know if i can actualy go it through it all, its hard enough talking about on here, its gona be even harder telling the police. i cant do it, but i know i have to report him i want to report him but i dont think i can i just dont know. im so confussed.

.

Last edited by WhisperingSilence; April 7th 2009 at 06:34 PM. Reason: .
   
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Re: Postman - April 7th 2009, 06:55 PM

Telling the police won't be easy, true, but there are ways to make it as easy as possible. Definitely tell the officer you're reporting it to that you're scared and nervous. I'm sure whoever handles your case will have handled other rape/abuse cases in the past and will understand if you're scared; they'll help make it as easy as they can and won't push you to say anything you aren't ready to. If need be, they have you give a statement over a short period of time, like a week, so when you've said as much as you could one particular day, you can go back a day or two later when you're ready to keep going.

Something else to definitely consider would be taking your mum, or a close friend with you when you go to report it. Having a familiar face there can be comforting and might help you relax a bit.

Maybe think about printing your original post and bringing it to the officer you report it to; it might be easier for you to write it out and give them a letter to read instead of having to talk about it verbally.

It's ok to be scared, and confused, to be honest I think I'd be a bit surprised if you weren't because reporting something like this can be very scary indeed, and it takes a lot of strength and courage to be able to talk about it. You've been so strong for posting here, you can be strong again and tell the police. You can do it.



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Re: Postman - April 8th 2009, 05:24 PM

true but my mum dont know and is not going to care. none of my friends no what the postman did, and each time i think about telling the police i want to but i get so scared, and each time i think about what the postman did i get so angry and upset with it and annoyed with my self for not stopping him, i know telling the police is the right thing to do but i dont know if i can tell the police.
   
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