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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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confused - May 21st 2012, 05:48 AM

I might as well just be honest here. I'm sort of in a relationship with a much older man than me. We met on the Internet and he happened to live close to me and we've met twice. We met at his friend P's flat and we had a spliff and a drink. We did things but we haven't been all the way. I know I shouldn't be in a relationship with him because he's so much older than me and I brought up the conversation with my mum, saying that a friends sister was in this situation ( there was no way I could say it was me) and she said that it's abuse. I didn't really say yes to the things that he wanted to do, but he did it anyway. I know it sounds really silly, but I feel like I love him because he's been there for me through dificult times.

He's always texting me dirty messages saying what he wants to do when he next sees me. He keeps on asking me to see him and I keep on making excuses and he knows somethings up. I enjoy being with him because I get to have a bit of fun and he gives me money every now and again but I don't enjoy the stuff we do.

I don't know what to do?

Any advice appreciated.
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Re: confused - May 21st 2012, 06:00 AM

Hey there, honestly I can see where your mother is coming from saying it's abuse, and while that's debatable, it is wrong. You shouldn't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with and if he is doing anything sexual towards you that you are not consenting to and/or don't want, then it is most likely Sexual Abuse/Assault. And I know you think you love him and it's nice that he gives you money, but the fact is this is not a healthy relationship for many reasons, most of which you noted in your post, so I know you know that the way he treats you isn't right. In my opinion, the best thing would be to break up with him and cut all ties you have with him.


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