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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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EmilyNicole Offline
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Lately.... - April 6th 2009, 04:21 AM

This is really hard for me, but I feel I need to get it off my chest. When I was little, my mom would babysit kids. She babysat this boy who was about my age for years. And all those years, He was molesting me. We assume he got it from his father...who got in trouble for these things many times and was actually a sexual predator who lived on our street. Well, my mom stopped watching him and of course talked to his parents. I couldn't remember the details up until now, because I was so young. But lately, and I don't know if it has much to do with it, I've been on edge. I went to sleep last night at about 12 and ended up staying up til 5 in the morning because I thought there was a car parked on my street, waiting outside. I started crying and freaking out. I couldn't take it. I saw the kid today...When I was going to the store with my dad. I guess that's the hardest part, I have to see him a lot. and he scares me. and I can't take it anymore.
   
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Re: Lately.... - April 6th 2009, 08:28 AM

I can only imagine how much anxiety you feel; it must be terrible! I really think you should talk to a professional if you're getting anxiety attacks or are afraid to leave your house. You aren't wrong for being scared, but you should try and get help so you can start feeling better.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lately.... - April 6th 2009, 06:48 PM

Hi EmilyNicole,
I'm so sorry to hear about your awful experiences! It makes complete sense that you're having a tough time. Not only are you coping with the memories, but if you have to see this kid, that's going to make it hard each time you see him. I think talking to your mom and seeing a therapist or doctor could be really helpful--not because you did anything wrong, but because you deserve to not be feeling so awful. It CAN get better and it will. I know how awful it is not but it won't be forever, help is out there. PM me anytime.

Jen




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“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lately.... - April 6th 2009, 08:14 PM

I know how it feels to come in contact with someone that has done those horrible things in the past... it makes moving on even harder. And whats worse is that he's repeating the cycle of abuse, and he may end up abusing his own children when he's older if that is what his father has done to him. Its not fair for you to have to feel threatened by this guy. I constantly feel like the one that molested me is outside my window at night even though I KNOW hes 2 and 1/2 hours away. You should deffiniately talk to your mom about this.
Good luck with everythingg.
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Re: Lately.... - April 7th 2009, 02:12 AM

Hey,

It's horrible to hear this happens to so many people, especially at such a young age. You don't deserve this, nor does anyone. I think you're going through realizing what happened and it might be quite scary. Knowing something that can be very hard for your system to handle. And, be prepared ok? Other things might come back, make sure you're keeping yourself calm and handling only as much as you can. If it helps, record things that you've had dreams about and talk about them. I seriously think you should talk to your parents or a psychologist. It helps to get these feelings out in the open, it makes things less shocking. Also, try to remember to do this list of things when you're going through it;http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/group.php?groupid=46. That link has suggestions for dealing with all types of flashbacks.


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Re: Lately.... - April 7th 2009, 10:51 AM

Hi, there.

I want you to know that you are not alone; I understand how you feel. I lived next door to the boy who molested me, as well, and had to see him every day on the school bus last year. It's awful and so difficult, and I am so incredibly sorry that you have had to go through all of this. What he did to you was wrong, whether he learned it from his father or not. You never, ever deserved to be put through this.

The tips Melissa posted could be extremely helpful. Whether you are experiencing a full-blown flashback or just conciously remembering, it really helps to ground yourself.

Now, because you said your mother already knows what happened, I highly suggest talking with her about this. It may be favorable if you could get in touch with a psychotherapist, as well; coping with these things is incredibly difficult, and therapy could give you all sorts of new coping skills, as well as giving you the freedom to get all of this off of your chest.

Take care of yourself, and please do not hesitate to contact me if you would ever like to talk.


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Re: Lately.... - April 8th 2009, 05:14 PM

Hey,

I am so glad you were able to reach out to us and let us know what is going on in your life. What happened to you was so unfair and I can't imagine the added trauma living next to an abuser would do to someone. Have you talked to your parents about how unbearable this is. They might not realize what you going through or even realize that you remember. Is there anyway that you could move or move in with a relative or family member that lives close by. This is something you really need to discuss with your parents. They love you and they want what is best for you. However, if they aren't aware of how you're feeling then they can't help you. When you are especially on edge can you go to them or a sibling if you have one so they can remind you everything is okay and your safe now. I can understand being a little paranoid in your situation but you can't let your fears control your life. Is there anything you could do that would help you feel safer? Maybe taking a self defense class, carrying pepper spray, and making sure you away have your phone on you could help. I know the abuse occurred a while ago but these things can help you feel less vulnerable and more empowered.

Abuse of any kind is always wrong. There is no accuse for hurting someone else like that. He may have learned it from his father he may not have. That part isn't important. What matters is he hurt you and that isn't right. Have you ever thought about going to the police with this? While they might not have enough information to prosecute him now they can start a file on him and if god forbid he does this to someone else then your testimony could be vital at putting him away for good. Helping someone else get justice while you also get justice for yourself can help you put all of your feelings to rest and provide some closer. Hopefully h never hurts another person and it doesn't come to that. Give it some thought at least.

Next time you are going through a rough time there are resources available to you that can help you get through this. You can always come on TH and use the support and advice chat, the Live Help feature, the HelpLINK system, or you can PM me anytime. You can also call a hotline. Here is the number for RAINN: 1-800-656-HOPE. Provided there are voulenteers online you can also reseive online support if you are to nervous to call in HERE is their website. You are not alone and you can make it through this. I am here for you if you ever need me. Don't hesitate to PM me if you ever want to talk. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Lately.... - April 10th 2009, 03:03 AM

I suggest getting help for that.. It sounds like you have major anxiety about it.


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