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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Unhappy What would this be considered as - June 10th 2012, 08:05 PM

Back in 2009, i was in a relationship with this guy. He would try to push me to were i would have to give in inorder to get him to let me go. He would touch me down there and when i said no alot of times, i had to say yes. He would expect me to say yes everytime. I would always say no. I'm still dealing with this today. What do i need to do?
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 11th 2012, 12:26 AM

Hello--

Yes that is considered rape. But I would look into the Statude of Limitations on Rape. In your area because after so many year in some areas you cannot bring charges upon the person that raped you.

Hope this answers your question.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 11th 2012, 12:35 AM

Well, there isn't much i can do according to the websites that i've looked at. it says the person has to be atleast 6 years older then me
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 11th 2012, 11:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by medic2013 View Post
Back in 2009, i was in a relationship with this guy. He would try to push me to were i would have to give in inorder to get him to let me go. He would touch me down there and when i said no alot of times, i had to say yes. He would expect me to say yes everytime. I would always say no. I'm still dealing with this today. What do i need to do?
Hey hun,

This would definitely be classed as rape through coercion if nothing else. Regardless of what it is actually named (whilst I realise it helps having a name) the fact of the matter is it is obviously and understandably affecting you. Can I ask where you found that information? As rape happens throughout all ages, not just when one person is much older. Is it perhaps that you're looking at statutory rape rather than just rape in general?

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I've been in a very similar situation but even still I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling as every person is different. Whilst it seems there's not much you can do legally speaking from what you've read, and this seems to be the case no matter what the type of rape often, do you think it affects you in such a way you need to talk about things and work through your feelings?

Here for ya if / when you do x
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 12th 2012, 11:58 AM

Hey there,

If you want to consider pressing charges that is something you could definitely look into. Pressing charges can be a very tiresome thing to deal with and it doesn't always result in a conviction but it can be very empowering for the survivor.

Another thing you might want to consider doing is getting into therapy to talk about everything that has occurred. I know that therapy has helped me to deal quite a bit with my own abuse and with the help of therapy I was able to, eventually, press charges against my abuser. Therapy is a great way to get out all the emotions you have in regards to the event and deal with them in a safe place. The thing is that after an event like this occurs we struggle with feeling safe and, if you are able to find a good therapist, therapy can offer you that safe place. Also, therapy can help you find the tools to better cope with the aftermath of the abuse that you have suffered.

I really hope this helped.

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Re: What would this be considered as - June 14th 2012, 01:14 AM

I just don't know how to handle this b/c i'm in paramedic school and i deal with people getting hurt and sick every day but when i have to run a call like this, it brings back everything that happened to me
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 15th 2012, 08:42 AM

Hey there,

It sounds to me as if some of the incidents that you are experiencing in paramedic school are triggering you; I want you to know that this is completely normal. I think that most people who have suffered from some type of abuse are triggered by certain things. I know that I get triggered at the most random times.

Being triggered can be really difficult because it can interfere with your life. When you are reminded of your past by something you have experienced in paramedic school try reminding yourself that it is in the past and he cannot hurt you any longer; sometimes this frame of thinking helps.

I would really like to encourage you to get into therapy for this because a therapist could help you work on your triggers and help you figure out how to cope with them. I know everything you are dealing with is scary but please know that healing is possible.

If you ever want to chat please feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 01:20 AM

If i do ask for help, i won't be able to contuine paramedic school. I just keep hoping that it goes away but it's like it doesn't ever go away
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 03:06 AM

Hi there,

I can't say that I know how you feel, but I do feel that I can relate to you in one or more ways.
I'm an EMT. I have had things happen to me in the past as well and do find it triggering when I go out on calls that have to do with things such as this.
If you can, try to get into therapy so you can talk these things out and try to work through them.
If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me anytime.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 07:27 PM

I just don't want to be kicked out of my program. I just can't stand the through of leaving after i'm this far threw the program
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 08:17 PM

What do you mean? They can't kick you out for going to see a therapist, that's completely irrational on their behalf. Is that actually what they said they'd do? Cause LOTS of people have those sorta jobs and need to see therapists. Heck, do you know how many cops suffer from PTSD from being shot at or seeing someone die or whatever else, have seen a therapist, and are STILL cops A) seeing a therapist is supposed to be confidential so why they would HAVE to know you are there at all is one point. and B) you're trying to deal with something that happened to you, but it's not like (from what you've said) what you have been through has totally incapacitated you completely, so there is no real reason for them to not let you do the job.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 08:58 PM

I don't know how i will be able to do with it and school. They are people on campus were i go to school that i can talk to but idk what they will say.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 10:10 PM

You should go to a campus counsellor. If your school is like my school then it would be no biggie, its confidential and free
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 16th 2012, 10:13 PM

Idk. Im thinking about it. I have two teachers that i'm really close with and i'm thinking one of them could help me get everything set up that i need. I just hope that nothing back fires if i do go talk to them
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 02:37 PM

Im getting to the point now, i'm not wanting to leave my house. I just want to lay in my bed all day. I'm also getting to were i'm not sleeping harly any at night anymore. I'm about done. I can't do this anymore?
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 07:31 PM

Did you talk to a teacher or the counselor? If not I really think you need to, for your own sake.


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 08:30 PM

Not yet. I'm kinda scared to
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 08:41 PM

I know the thought of getting help can be scary, but I really think you need to, especially seeing as how much this is affecting you emotionally. After you take the first step to asking for and getting help, it gets easier.


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 09:09 PM

thats what scares me so bad. how do i know it will get easier
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 09:11 PM

Sometimes you just have to take a chance and believe what others are telling you. I'm replying to this thread because I REALLY want to help you, and I don't want you to suffer like you are, but if you don't take my advice there isn't much of anything I can do, I know it can be hard but you just have to trust me and the others here that are telling you that this is the best option for you.


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 09:16 PM

i know. I dont want my teacher to look at me like im crazy.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 09:20 PM

I highly doubt they will, and if they do then they are really not a considerate person.


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 10:39 PM

I know. I just hope that tomorrow works if i tell them.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 11:05 PM

I hope so too, and I really do hope that everything works out well for you, keep us updated


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Re: What would this be considered as - June 24th 2012, 11:41 PM

I will. I just hope this is all going to be worth it.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - June 30th 2012, 04:45 AM

Well, i started therapy on wensday. I'm still not wre i want to be but i guess ill deal with it. My bf and my teachers are being really supportive about it.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 2nd 2012, 04:15 AM

Im still blameing myself for what happened. I can't stop.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 3rd 2012, 10:32 AM

This isn't your fault. And I know how hard it can be to accept that it isn't your fault, but the fact is that it is NOT your fault, you NEVER did anything to deserve what happened to you. Have you reached out to a professional yet? I still highly recommend that.


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 4th 2012, 11:44 PM

I am. I just started last week. They called me friday when i was at work and i couldn't answer my phone and now they are trying to get alot of things worked out b/c there is a chance i might get committed b/c of what he has done to me. I can't figure out why i would the one that gets this when he is the one that has treated me wrong.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 5th 2012, 04:19 AM

If they do commit you, it's because they feel worried about what effects there are from what he has done and want to help you recover in a safe environment.


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 5th 2012, 04:27 AM

I dont want to be bc of school. I will have a breakdown if i dont get to go to school. I will also put up a fight....
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 5th 2012, 04:48 AM

Well you can fight it, it may or may not be up to you in the end though. And if they do make you, just remember they are doing it for your safety and to help you.


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 6th 2012, 12:23 AM

I know they are. I just don't want to b/c i'm scard if it happens so bad. I don't want to leave what i'm conferble with.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 6th 2012, 04:49 AM

It can be really scary but you have to try to trust these people, they only want to help you the best way they can.


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 6th 2012, 05:31 PM

I know they just want to help but I don't trust alot of people because of everything that has happened to me.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 6th 2012, 08:27 PM

I know what that's like I really do, I know what it's like to not trust a single person, but in this case, you have to try to remember that they only want to help you, and try to trust them, even if you fully don't, these people only want to help, they don't want to hurt you.


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 7th 2012, 01:22 AM

It sucks b/c i was never like this before that this happened to me back in 09.
   
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 7th 2012, 05:28 AM

Things like this can have detrimental effects on people, including nearly complete loss of trust. But that's just another reason to try to let them help you, it may help heal some of these trust issues it caused too.


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  (#39 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What would this be considered as - July 7th 2012, 06:48 PM

Why not ask the people in your program if they would kick you out just for being in theripy


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Re: What would this be considered as - July 7th 2012, 08:46 PM

Idk. I just don't want to jeperadise my career right now
   
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