TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Scared around my uncle. - April 10th 2009, 03:21 AM

Triggering (maybe not but just incase.)

So, I've had problems with my uncle before since he lives with my dad, me, my brothers and he's kids. He's peaked in the bathroom through the outside window when I was getting dressed after taking a shower, when he checks my breathing (I get sick alot 'cause I don't sleep at all.) he checks the front of my chest and touchs me, and sometimes when I'm watching the news in his room, he likes to change while I'm in there and twice has he "shown himself" and all I have to do is tell my youth pastor and his laywer will open back up the case. I could've sent him to jail but I didn't wanna hurt anybody.

Now I have terrible dreams of him coming into my room while I'm in bed, taping my mouth shut, knocking me out and raping me. and then me being 2 weeks pregnant and having no one believe me. Idk why I'm having these nightmares, but I hate being home now. It's why I try to stay at school more and why I'm always at my church.. I thank God my nightmare hasn't came true. And I'm glad he doesn't go to my church.. But idk what to do, I wanna feel safe in my home.. Its gotten to the point where it makes my suicidal thoughts worse.
What can I do?

:/


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Christinaa317o8 Offline
Christina
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
Christinaa317o8's Avatar
 
Name: Christina
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: New York

Posts: 366
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 29th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 10th 2009, 01:06 PM

Heyy,
I'm sorry that he's taking control of you in this way. What he's doing is extrememly scary as well as the nightmares you are having.

What he's doing is a total violation and I totally understand why you would be petrified. I deffiniately think it would be great if you told your Youth Pastor. If he was helpful in the past I'm sure he would by no means help you all over again. You said you didn't want to get him in jail because you didn't want to hurt anybody. Obviously you have a good heart and it seems that you do not hate you're uncle, but I think you hate what he's dong, and you should. Whether or not taking him to jail would hurt anybody, he's hurting you right now by violation you in soooo many ways. Do you think he would ever put his own children in this situation. This man could be violation his own children as well as you. I'm so sorry you have you be put in such a hard position. It really is hard to chose someone else's outcome of life, like you could have sent him to jail but you chose not to. You still can do something about this, you know that this is not okay and you shouldn't have to live in such fear.

I really think talking to your youth pastor would be a great idea. Jail isn't the only option, if you don't want to hurt him and his family. But proceeding with the case would deffiniately get him away from you and away from fear and danger.

You can do this, tell your youth pastor.

I hope everything goes okay!
If you need anymore advice feel free to PM me.
  Send a message via AIM to Christinaa317o8  
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Member
Average Joe
***
 
The Patron Saint's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Posts: 176
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: February 18th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 12th 2009, 04:54 AM

Hey there. You shouldn't be worried about hurting anyone. What matters most is that you do whats good for you. Christina's right when she says you might not be the only one he treats like this. If you open the case back up, you'll know that he won't be able to hurt you, and odds are he'll get the help that he needs. Please tell someone. You don't need to handle this on your own. PM if you want to talk. Be good to yourself.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 12th 2009, 06:11 AM

I think about this.. My dad won't kick him out 'cause its his brother.... But what about me? Would I have to move out? I would love if he up and moved out w/ his kids 'cause I would feel safe!


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
Average Joe
***
 
The Patron Saint's Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Canada

Posts: 176
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: February 18th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 12th 2009, 08:53 AM

Have you talked to your dad about it? Or do you just think he won't kick him out. Most dads I know would be very protective of their daughter in this situation.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 01:55 AM

My dad doesn't care about me... Just now he said I was s**t to him and that he would be proud to get thrown in jail just to hit me and that I have ot move out soon... I'm 15, where am I supposed to go?


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 05:07 AM

Hey Suniesha,

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You've been really brave in dealing with this so far, and I'm really proud of you.

You mentioned that you don't want to hurt anyone (which by the way is really respectable and thoughtful), but do you think it might happen that your uncle might end up hurting someone - you or someone else - if you don't address it? Besides, currently obviously this is hurting someone - you, and you really matter. It might help to mention this to your youth pastor, and to mention that you don't feel safe at home. Your youth pastor can help you find a place to stay where you feel secure.

-- Hugs to wrap you in care --

Praying for you. PM me any time.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
killing-myself Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
killing-myself's Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 91
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 02:39 PM

suniesha,

you know i have to say to tell your youth paster all of this.
i would do the same thing if i where you.
and i can understand that you dont want to hurt anyone, im the same way, but if you dont tell someone you will be hurting yourself. and sometimes you just have to think about yourself.

and if needed just PM me and ill pray over you if needed.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
soul Offline
Any fool can criticize
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
soul's Avatar
 
Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 06:36 PM

Hey,

Thank you for finding the strength to share your experience with us and ask for help. That takes a lot of courage and I am really proud of you. I am sure you know what our uncle is doing is wrong. He is choosing this type for behavior for himself. I'm sure he knows the potential consequences of his action but he goes along and does it anyway. I highly recommend telling your Youth Pastor what is going on. You shouldn't have to live in fear like this. I don't want to scare you when I say this but you need to realize that if you don't take action there is a potential that his behavior could get worse. I know the last thing you want is for your nightmare to come true and its up to you to keep that from happening. When you report him don't think of it as hurting anyone else but think of it as protecting yourself. He set himself up for these consequences and you are not to blame in the least bit. Do what is best for you right now. You don't need to keep this man out of jail when he treats you like that. If you are to nervous to talk to your youth pastor in person then it might be a good idea to consider writing them a letter or e-mail explaining the situation. You are strong and you can do this. We are all here supporting you. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you. Take care and make good choices.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 08:36 PM

I've talked to him about it.. And we talked about it... But I can't do this... Idk what else to do or say.


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
soul Offline
Any fool can criticize
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
soul's Avatar
 
Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 08:59 PM

I'm glad to hear that you talked with him about it. Never say you can't do something especially when you know you can. Believe in your strength and anything is possible. If you don't want to press charges can you at least live with someone else? For example, maybe you could love with a relative, friend, or another church member. You need to think about your safety and well being. Do you honestly think putting yourself at risk like this is worth it. Pretend a friend came to you for help and was in your exact same situation. What would you tell them to do? Would you honestly tell them to do nothing and keep on living in the same house as their uncle praying nothing else would happen? I don't think you would. You are strong and you have our support. You can do this. Take care and believe in yourself.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
killing-myself Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
killing-myself's Avatar
 
Gender: Male

Posts: 91
Join Date: January 17th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 10:46 PM

I have to agree with Mimi here.
you have to tell someone to keep yourself safe.
and i bet your youth paster will help you out alot.


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 13th 2009, 11:04 PM

Hey Suniesha,

I'm really proud of you for talking to him about it. Keep being self-advocating; you deserve it. If you're not sure what to do, don't be afraid to ask for advice - from your youth pastor, from the people here, whatever. We're here for you.

Keep hanging in there.
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 14th 2009, 02:03 AM

Idk I like can't stop thinking.. If I tell anyone else or do anything I'm gonna hurt someone badly.. And it scares me!


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
soul Offline
Any fool can criticize
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
soul's Avatar
 
Name: Mimi
Gender: Female

Posts: 922
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 14th 2009, 06:05 PM

Hey,

You aren't the one who started this. HE decided to bring this on himself when he behaved like that. YOU are not hurting anyone by helping yourself. You didn't make him act like that and you didn't force him to act like this. YOU ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG BY GETTING YOURSELF HELP. You need to think about yourself first right now. Your safety and well being are the most important things right now. You need to do this for yourself. You are valuable and deserve help. Your uncle 100% deserves whatever happens to him as a result of his disgusting actions. When people break the law they are responsible for paying the price that comes along with that. I urge you to talk to your pastor about how you feel displaced guilt about reporting him. I hope they can convince you better than me that you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. If someone does something that hurts you in anyway you are never wrong for putting a stop to it and letting someone know. I beg you to at least find an alternative place to live. Take care of yourself and think about the potential repercussions of letting this continue.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 15th 2009, 03:40 AM

I know, but dang it really sucks not knowing what to do..


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 15th 2009, 03:55 AM

Well, be proud of the steps that you have already taken. Talking to your youth pastor was a really good thing to do - keep doing that, and don't be afraid to tell him/her that you don't know what to do now. They can probably help you out. For now, just try focusing on keeping yourself safe, finding and being around people who make you feel affirmed, remind yourself that you've got the support of us all here, pray when you're not sure what else to do - I don't think God really cares if we babble on anyway, He's got time to listen. And keep hanging in there. We're not going to let you go through this alone.

You can do this, and we're proud of you.
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
Don't give up, turn to JESUS!!
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
I ♥ Jehovah Shalom!'s Avatar
 
Name: suniesha
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Everett, washington

Posts: 630
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Scared around my uncle. - April 17th 2009, 01:41 AM

Now my counselor says if I don't tell him to stop... In a week she'll call the cops..


2nd cor. 5:13
GREAT HOPE COMES FROM FAITH IN GOD!!!!

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
scared, uncle

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.