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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
rebecca110109 Offline
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abused again.. - April 17th 2009, 11:52 AM

it happened again today. same guy, who i thought was my friend. this time, he left my vagina bleeding, and in pain. after he left, i cut myself, then i panicked and called my friend. she came with her mum. they took me to the sexual health clinic at the hospital. i got home and really needed to finally tell my mum. but as usual, she was real mad at me. slamming the doors and calling me shit. i just hope she'll love me one day, cos all this rape, abuse and violence.. i cannot handle. i want out please help me!

Last edited by SimplyComplex; April 17th 2009 at 12:00 PM. Reason: I decided to add a triggering prefix. :]
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: abused again.. - April 17th 2009, 01:23 PM

Hi Rebecca,
I am so sorry to hear about what you went through. This was NOT your fault. I'm really glad that your friend and her mum took you to the clinic. And I am so sorry that your own mum isn't being kind and considerate. I can imagine that it would be more helpful if you felt that she cared.

Is there anything that can be done to prevent this guy from hurting you further? Have you ever reported him? It might be something to consider--you deserve to not live in fear and pain and abuse.

Take good care of you, PM me anytime.
Jen




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
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Re: abused again.. - April 17th 2009, 02:06 PM

Hey Rebecca. (:

I'm so sorry to hear what's been happening to you. It's so wrong. Nobody deserves to have to go through all of that. I'm glad you got to a hospital though, taking care of yourself.

It sucks your mom isn't being supportive and caring like you need her to be. I guess she's confused and terrified too, but that doesn't excuse her behavior. Do you think it would help to have a serious chat with her and tell her how much her reactions are affecting you?

I know it's difficult, but perhaps the next time you have an urge to cut, you could check out the Alternatives To Self Harm thread. It might help you calm down a little, hopefully.

Have you reported this guy? There's no way he should be allowed to get away with this time after time! He has no right to hurt you in this way. No right.

PM me if you ever need anything. Take care of yourself, please.


   
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Re: abused again.. - April 17th 2009, 03:01 PM

Hey Rebecca,

I am so proud of you for having the courage to call your friend. I am even more proud that you took care of your health by going to the clinic. What your other 'friend' did was wrong. Friends do not intentionally hurt other friends especially in that way. This person is not your friend. You don't need them in your life at all. I don't want them to ever hurt you again. I am sure you want the same thing. Please think about taking some measures to ensure your safety. One big suggestion is reporting this crime. Don't let him get away with this. Don't let his actions go unpunished. If you don't think reporting this is what is best for you then that is okay too. Do what you think is best. However, if you decide not to report this then take some extra safety precautions. For example, don't go out at night alone, stay away from places you know he hangs out, always carry a cell phone with you if at all possible, consider buying some pepper spray, and be aware of your surroundings. You shouldn't have to live in fear and that is another reason I recommend reporting this to the authorities. You just have to believe in your own strength. You have people around you that will support you. I'm sorry that your mom had such a bad reaction. Keep in mind that when people get angry and upset they tend to project that anger on the nearest possible target and in this case that was you. Not everyone is as understanding as you would like them to be. Don't let her reaction discourage you from reaching out and getting help. I promise that there are people out there who are caring and understanding. I suggest at least considering seeing a counselor that can help you sort through some of your feelings about all of this. There are healthier ways to cope with pain than to SH. You can find alternatives that can help get you through this in a constructive way rather than a destructive one. No matter what happens it is never okay to hurt yourself. Try to show yourself some of the love you deserve. I hope with all my heart that things get better for you soon. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to PM me anytime. I am here for you. Take care and hang in there. I care about you.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: abused again.. - April 17th 2009, 08:36 PM

Rebecca,

I'm so sorry this happened to you, no one ever deserves to be hurt like that. What he did was not ok under any circumstances. It's good you called your friend and you went to the health clinic - did you get a rape kit done? If you didn't, I strongly suggest you do, as it can be used as evidence if you decide to report him.

I know it can be hard when a parent is angry and you're hurting, but I think right now, what you need to do is sit down with your mum and tell her what happened. Tell her that he hurt you. At least then she'll know what happened. It's important, Rebecca, to tell someone - like I said, it's good your friend and her mum know and I'm proud of you for telling them because it takes so much strength and courage not to keep silent about something like this. But yeah, I do think the next step here would be to tell your mum and from there, go to the police station to make a report.

The thought of making a report might be scary, Rebecca, but it's important not to keep quiet about what he's done. He should never have hurt you like that, and he shouldn't be able to get away with this. Ask your friend to come with you when you make the report, having someone there with you, a familiar face, might make you feel a bit more comfortable and less nervous. It's also important to tell the officer you report it to that you're nervous about making the report - chances are, the officer will have handled cases like these before and will help you to make it as easy as possible.

I agree with Mimi that thinking about counseling could be a good idea as well; being able to talk about how you feel and sorting through your thoughts and feelings, it can really help. Counseling can make such a huge difference if you give it a chance.

Let me know if you ever want to talk about anything, ok? My PM box is always open. Keep safe, Rebecca, take good care of yourself.



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Re: abused again.. - April 20th 2009, 05:36 PM

The most important thing right now is to tell your mother. No matter how angry or upset she is with you. If you need anything don't be afraid to send me a private message or an email. I'd be glad to help you with anything you need. I've been there and know the pain. It will be all right. We all want what's best for you, and ask anything you need.
   
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