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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Meowwings Offline
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Name: Briauna Hansen
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Telling lies - April 2nd 2013, 07:38 PM

So I haven't been on here for over a year... But I finally am telling some of my close friends what has happened to me and being in college they are taking it lots better than I thought. But some of their reactions come with questions like is it over and has it stopped? If it hasn't then why don't you call the cops? Well my friends it is because I no longer struggle, scream, kick, fight, say no, or in anyway resist. I know that this way he gets what he wants and then I can just forget about it.... Doesn't mean the after affects go away as well, but at these their gone. So I told my friends that it hasn't happened in quite some time to get them off my back, but then some of them will notice im off when I come back to school from being at home... I just don't like lying to them and I think they can tell it's not over.... What should I do?
   
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Re: Telling lies - April 4th 2013, 12:58 AM

Hey Briauna,

First I wanted to tell you that I am very sorry you are having to go through this and I hope you know it is in no way your fault.

Second, why not tell them the truth? You don't deserve to have to go through this, especially not alone. They seem like they want to be there for you and maybe with their help you can find the courage inside of you to tell the authorities. You have had the courage to continually get through the abuse so I know you have that courage inside of you to tell. You don't deserve this, Briauna.

I'm here if you ever need to talk. Keep yourself safe.

-Em


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
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Re: Telling lies - April 4th 2013, 07:35 AM

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this first of all. And secondly you shouldn't feel like you have to lie to your friends, they seem to only want what's best for you and that's for you to be safe. Why don't you want to tell them or get help with this situation? I think it could really help because you in no way deserve any of what's going on.


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Meowwings Offline
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Name: Briauna Hansen
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April 5th 2013, 08:08 AM

The reason I can't get help is because it is now consensual. Because I don't resist, authorities will think I just was regretting the actions. The last time I tried resisting was when I was ten. But I learned it hurt less so I stopped and let it happen. That is way over the five year report mark so it doesn't count.

I also have been getting some bad reactions from friends I tell. One said that I should have helped myslef when it first happened. I told him I was six and didn't even understand what was going on. He still blames me for letting it happen.

Last edited by Tigerlily.; April 7th 2013 at 03:40 PM. Reason: Merging double post
   
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Re: Telling lies - April 7th 2013, 03:20 AM

Briauna,

I am sorry to hear your friends are reacting that way. People who have not been through abuse often do not understand how hard it is to come forward about it, especially at the young age you were. Please know you did not let the abuse happen. It was done to you and you did what you had to to get through it. That includes not fighting back. Just because you quit resisting does not mean it is no longer abuse. Your reaction, giving up/not resisting after being hurt for so long, is completely normal and does not make what is happening to you okay. Grown women freeze or don't resist in situations of assault and you were just a child going through one of the most horrible situation imaginable! Try not to blame yourself. I'm proud of you for getting through this.

You deserve help, Briauna and I truly believe the authorities will side with you if you decide to tell them what has been going on.


Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Meowwings Offline
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Re: Telling lies - April 9th 2013, 09:03 PM

Personally I don't want to tell the authorities. It only happens when I go back to my home town and now that I am in a university to rarely happens to me. It is mainly my problem with my friends. I don't like have to lie to them about what happens to me or when it happens to me.
   
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