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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Question How do you possibly tell someone that you were abused? - October 12th 2013, 03:21 PM

So I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and I feel like I should tell her about me being sexually abused in the past... but how do I tell her? I've said that I wanted to tell her something but I wasn't sure if I was ready, and she told me that she wouldn't push me to tell her and that I have a much time as I need, but I just can't make myself bring it up again. Plus, she knows the person who did it to me and my girlfriend will probably act differently around her. I can't have anyone else know what happened and I can't let the person who abused me know that someone knows. I'm not even sure that she realizes that she abused me, or if she does, she just doesn't care.
   
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Re: How do you possibly tell someone that you were abused? - October 13th 2013, 04:46 AM

First of all, if you are not comfortable telling her, then don't tell her. She seems very understanding, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

If you do want to tell her, but it's too hard for you to say it in person, you can always write her a letter. Leave it somewhere where you're sure she'll find it or give it to her to read. This might be easier than just telling her. Also, make it clear that you do not want this person to know. Tell her to act the same around them, so you are able to keep her knowledge a secret.
If you really don't want want the person to find out, the only way you can do that for sure is to not tell your girlfriend. She seems like a trustworthy person, though, so I wouldn't be too worried about it.
Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure everything will turn out fine. I wish you the best of luck!


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Re: How do you possibly tell someone that you were abused? - October 13th 2013, 12:00 PM

First of all, you must come to terms with yourself, acknowledging that the abuse was not your fault in any way, shape, or form, and that it will not affect any of your relationships with that person.

Only let her know when you are sure that the she can handle the information.Tell her openly what happened to you, and don't look for a response right away. This is big news for your loved one to hear, and it may come as a bit of a shock. Keep the conversation open by explaining little details, but only if you want to. Naturally your girlfriend will be curious and want to ask questions, so don't be shy in answering them.

Wishing you the best


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