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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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heartbroken1234 Offline
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Unhappy Help me:'( - May 5th 2009, 10:28 PM

Ok, i really didnt know where to put this so i put it in a few places...... I just lost my virginity..... in a way, that is impossible to explain, the guy scared me into doing it. He has a girlfriend, but he kept saying that he loved me and that he would never hurt me..... and for some reason i believed him. I'm going through some other things right now and i wanted to be loved... i know that sounds cheesy but honestly it felt really nice just to have someone care about me. I really did think that he loved me and that he would never hurt me, but now i know it was all just a game. He has changed so much now! The only time he talks to me is if he is going to kill himself or something.... he is slowly killing me inside. i miss him so much and now he acts like he hates me.... He aslo told his gf so now she absolutely hates me (not that i blame her). and i feel so used! I feel like it was all just fake......I also heard that it was illegal what we did because he is 16 and im only 14. Its all my fault, and now he could get sent to jail all because of me. Even though he did scare me into doing it by telling me things that caused me so much pain..... thats still no excuse..... i deserve to die.... a person like me doesnt deserve to live I feel like such a slut and im really not.... I have never done anything like this intill now.... I fell for his lies..... oh yeah, to make all this even better, i haven't had my period and we didnt use protection so i could be pregnant or have aids! I don't know why im writing this..... its basically just showing the intire world how stupid and slutty i am.... but if you have any ideas about what i should do please comment.... Because i have been crying for atleast 7 days straight and i just wish i was dead.....
   
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Re: help me:'( - May 5th 2009, 10:51 PM

Heya,

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you, that guy shouldn't have manipulated you like that. It does sound like it was all a game to him, it's not your fault for not realising it at the time. We all love to hear that people want us and are interested in us, but by having that there is a chance that we are going to get hurt, the fact that he has a girlfriend is a bad enough example, without everything else he's done.
He's playing on your weakness, he knows you want to feel loved so is using that to his advantage. Try not to blame yourself for this, you're not a slut at all! Ignore him, don't let him come back into your life. What he did wasn't right, no one deserves to be messed around, and I'm pretty sure that you'll be angry with him. Try releasing this anger in a positive way; throwing pillows at walls, stomping around, putting on some angry music, writing things down.
I'd advise you to take a pregnancy test, just to make sure, you'll never know until you do. If you are worried about contracting an STI then go to a clinic/gp/whatever is there in your area to get tested for them.

x
   
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Re: help me:'( - May 5th 2009, 11:01 PM

I would be distressed too, that sounds really rough...let's try to take it bit by bit first.

Is your period late? If you think you missed it, you should go to the drug store and get a test. If you're pregnant, you need to be seeing a doctor now. Do you have any reason to believe that you might have AIDs or any STD? Some STDS have telltale signs, so you might want to inspect that area and get tested, even if you find that you're not pregnant. That's just heath stuff that I think needs to get sorted out for you to get any sort of mental peace in this--

He will not go to jail for you having sex with him, trust me don't worry about the guy, worry about yourself instead. We have a [sticky] with State Laws of Consent if you want to know what the rule for where you live, though. This is not your fault-- you certainly deserve to live and you're not a slut. You're just in a lot of pain right now, and honestly? I would be too. I think he is emotionally abusing you, manipulated you into having sex with you, and is treating you poorly so you're wrapped around his finger.. maybe he wants attention, you know? And he feels like he can only get it from people through sexual domination and emotional abuse. I think the only thing you can really do were is be a self-preservationalist. You need to keep going.

I would block him online, ignore his calls, block his number, and not talk to him in real life. If he gets in your face, say that communication with him is hurting you, and you do not deserve to be in a relationship like that. Get him OUT of your life. This might seem harsh and difficult, especially if you're attached to him but I don't think it's safe to try and talk to him anymore, because I think it will lead to more abuse. I think you need to get away and work on healing yourself.

Hey and don't hesitate to drop me a PM, ok? Take care. Andohyeah, I'm moving this to Rape and Abuse.. I think you'll get more specific responses there.


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Between me and the crying of the frogs?

(My PM box is always open.. if I can't help you, I'll find someone who can)
   
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Re: Help me:'( - May 6th 2009, 09:36 AM

What you need to do, iis stay away from this boy, he is just using you. Also, get a pregnancy test, and as for an STI/STD test, you need to wait 3 months for the HIV virus to show in your blood, so I recommend waiting for one of those currently. Also, what this guy did is terribly wrong, he raped you, as he scared you into it. Did you want to go through with it? If the answer is no, tell the police, what he did is wrong, and he shouldn't get away with it.
Don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. Also I'm moving this to rape and abuse, as I feel it fits better there, please, PM me if you need anything.
Lou.


"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥

"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan

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Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

~ The Buddha

14-04-2010. R.R <3
   
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Re: Help me:'( - May 6th 2009, 08:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostlyheartbeat View Post
What you need to do, iis stay away from this boy, he is just using you.
Yes. He's a manipulator, dishonest and if he coerced you into having sex, he's a rapist. Bad news.

You're not the first one this has happened to. He took advantage of your needing to be loved (everybody needs love) for his own pleasure. Stay away from him. I think he has a bad future ahead of him.
   
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