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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Rant/help/idontknow - January 14th 2015, 02:16 AM

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I kind of want to vent.. but in the same way get help too maybe.

Last summer, I was hanging out with some friends at a party, I wasn't drinking, and either was a friend of mine. We use to be pretty close, and we started to get closer, and he started to ask for nude pictures, and I kept telling him no.

The next time we hung out he was rubbing up against me, and trying to get me to put my hands down his pants. He got pretty rough and I kept telling him no and he would get more forceful. I ended up waking up in the morning with a lot of bruises on my wrist and other body parts.

I don't know how to feel about it, it scares me. I get nightmares of it, and it effects my everyday life now with people I care about. Is it suppose to effect me this must, is it considered sexual assault?


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Re: Rant/help/idontknow - January 14th 2015, 08:58 PM

Yes, what you're describing is sexual assault. Sexual assault is when someone is forced to do something against their will, and that's what happened to you. You told him no, and he did not respect that.

Have you told someone about this? If not, I think you should consider telling someone. I know that talking to someone can be really scary, but it can help in the long run. Telling someone was hard for me but it was one of the best things I've ever done because I was able to find a therapist and now I'm getting the help I need. You deserve help and support for this; you don't ever have to fight through your feelings alone. I think you should look into therapy if that's an option that's available to you. I found my therapist through this; it's extremely helpful so maybe you can give it a try (It's for people who live in the United States and Canada, though).

Try to get things out of your system. Even if you have no desire to tell anyone, you can blog or journal or find other ways to express how all of this makes you feel. Keeping it inside is really unhealthy, so definitely try to express yourself when you can.

Do you do anything for the nightmares? Maybe you can sleep with a light on or do happier things before you fall asleep. You can watch comedians on YouTube, or think back to a memory that you're really fond of as you're falling asleep.

I don't think assault is supposed to affect anyone in a certain way, it just affects everyone a little bit differently. Everyone's experience is a little different because they have a different threshold, so to speak. It sounds like this is affecting a large portion of your daily life and that's when you need to get some support to get through all of this.


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Re: Rant/help/idontknow - January 14th 2015, 09:42 PM

I go to therapy for other things, maybe I can try to talk about it there, its group so its a bit different.
I try to watch movies before bed, I leave the TV on and I had a fish light that was on until he died yesterday.
I haven't told anyone in my family, i feel like they wouldn't understand, none of them understand much as it is with me.


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Re: Rant/help/idontknow - January 16th 2015, 03:13 PM

You can try to talk about it there if you feel comfortable with that. It might help to have all of the added support of the group, too. The people in group might surprise you with their understanding. Sexual assault is common but it isn't something that's talked about a lot, so you might help other people by talking about it too. I can understand why you don't want to tell your family. It can be hard especially when you see them so often. It's almost easier to talk to someone that you don't know too well or that you don't see on a regular basis. But, if you do have a particular person you can confide in or an outlet that you can use to express yourself, definitely take advantage of that.

I'm sorry to hear about your fish. Maybe you can get a new one when you're ready.


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