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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Name: Cate
Age: 27
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Last Night. - May 9th 2009, 01:06 PM

This morning, I got a phone call from my friend's mom. She said that she was sick, and that my friend, Jude, and I and the rest of our group couldn't hang out today. Jude's mom was our carpool, airgo, plans were off. So I was like, "Okay, have Jude call me later, please?" and she snapped at me, "Absolutely not!" and hung up.

Yesterday was Jude's birthday. She had a party last night, but I couldn't make it because I had to work. She texted me today from her doctor's office when her mom went to the bathroom. Apparently she was raped last night at the party while she was really drunk. I'm also, aside from her parents, th only person who knows; she's one of my best friends.

I guess what I'm asking is how can I help? Is there anything I should say, shouldn't say? I've come close to situations, but never one as tangable as this one. Any advice you have from me, or anything I should suggest to her would be great, thanks!
   
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Re: Last Night. - May 9th 2009, 01:31 PM

Hey Cate!
I'm sorry about what happend to your friend
As for advise, the best advise I can give is to be there for her and help her thorugh this hard time!
Sometimes people don't like to talk about what happened straight away, so I would say wait untill she brings it up and she's confortable to talk about it. Maybe let her know that your there for here and she can talk to you when she's ready!!

I hope that helped a little

PM me if you wanna talk more,

Mags

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You can do tonight without the help of a blade and wake in the morning with the feeling of accomplishment

PM me anytime, I am always here to be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear whats bothering you and words to make you see the hope








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Re: Last Night. - May 9th 2009, 03:04 PM

Cate,

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your friend. Rape is a truly horrible experience to have to go through, and your friend is going to need all the support she can get right now. Healing after a traumatic event such as this is very hard, but no matter how hard it is, it's even harder when you're on your own.

It's good she went to the doctor's - I'm assuming she went to get a rape kit done? If not, that's something you should strongly suggest to her. Having a kit done does not only ensure she can be treated for any injuries resulting from the rape or any STI's she might have caught, but also so that evidence can be collected. This is something that's extremely important right now, to get a kit done.

Your friend must trust you a lot, to tell you this - telling someone about rape isn't easy, because it means talking about something she's probably going to want to push to the back of her mind instead of confronting right away. The most important thing to do is to be there for your friend, to let her know you're there if she needs a shoulder to cry on, or if she needs to talk about anything. But, make sure you don't push her to talk about anything she doesn't want to. She's going to need time to heal from what happened.

Everyone reacts from rape differently. Keep a close eye on her to make sure she's not falling into any unhealthy coping methods and that she's keeping herself safe. It's lovely to want to help her but make sure you're taking good care of yourself as well, ok? If at any time, this is too much for you to handle, it's ok to take a step back from things. Let me know anytime you want to talk about anything, keep safe.



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