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xRainSongX Offline
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Unhappy Hard to heal - October 11th 2015, 08:20 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I was sexually abused when I was eight years old. It was by a classmate at my school, that was seven years ago. I haven't talked about it IRL since then. I guess what bothers me the most is how my mom reacted. When it was around Christmas time, I was writing Christmas cards for people in my class expect I didn't want to write one to him. My mom said that I should write one to him because it was 'the spirit of Christmas'. I told her that I hated him and she said that I didn't hate anyone. It hurts so much, even now. I feel so betrayed I guess I just need some advice. I'm too scared to bring it up to my therapist...
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Re: Hard to heal - October 11th 2015, 02:31 PM

My god im so sorry....
i felt so horrible after reading this. No person should ever have to feel like this, especially years after it happened. Does anybody (except for your mom) know what happened? Maybe opening up alittle more will help you. And i know thats terrifying, i know how scary it can be to tell someone how you feel, but i promise you that it will help, and your therapist is a good place to start. What exactly are you afraid of, that theyll think less of you, or judge you? Trust me it hurts a lot more to keep that inside. Your therapist cares about you, its litterally thier job to help you and to make you better. No one can help you if they dont know whats hurting you. If not your therapist, than talk to your mom. You said that part of the reason you felt so bad was because of how she reacted. So talk to her, tell her how you feel and how she hurt you, and if she really does love you and care about you than shell listen and shell want to help. If you don' t want to talk to them than talk to someone else you trust, someone who loves you.
But please, the worst thing you can do is keep that inside of you. Believe me when i say that it hurts a lot more if you let that build up inside of you. And again im so sorry about all of this, and i wish you the best.

I know you are looking for a sea that lies beyond your reach
But im hoping my heart can stop you before you reach the beach
I know you have places to go
I know that you want the sea
But im hoping my heart will grow and that you'll
come back to me.....
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Re: Hard to heal - October 11th 2015, 09:26 PM

I agree with what's been said. Keeping this inside can make you feel more pain, so I think you should consider talking about it. Your mom didn't have the best reaction, so I can understand if you don't want to tell her. I do think you should tell your therapist, though. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be nervous about it. It's your therapist's job to support you and therapists hear a lot of people's stories. They are used to it. Maybe you can consider writing down what you want to say and reading it to your therapist, or writing it down, having them read it and ask them to bring it up for you. If you tell your therapist, you're giving them a chance to better know how to help you.

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