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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Scared to be in my home - November 9th 2015, 01:59 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

First off my 3 cousins all older than me and my grandmother live in the house. Second they're not supposed to be there. So now that that's out there on to the post.

So I've been verbally and emotionally attacked by my family my whole life. All they do is talk bad about me, call me names, and make Mr feel bad about myself. Well lately its been getting worse. Just yesterday morning as soon as I woke up I overheard my cousins talking bad about me. It hurt me really bad. It made me think why. Why did they say what they said? Is it my fault? Like really just made me regret being born. Regret being me. Just last night my cousin made a big deal over a piece of steak. She made me not wanna eat. I still don't want to eat. Even though I ate this morning before school.

They said that my grandma doesn't care about nobody but me and all this other stuff. They made a big deal about me asking for things. Like having people share food with me. I don't even know if this post makes since but its true. I really wish that I had the guts to kill myself. Shit if I could get away with murder I would've killed my cousins. Just so that they'll leave me alone. I don't even wanna go home. I was thinking about running away from home after school today. But I don't know where to go.
   
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Re: Scared to be in my home - November 9th 2015, 08:27 PM

Hi,

I know running away seems like the answer, but it isn't. You can escape everything temporarily, but it will start to follow you and what you're going through will be waiting for you when you return home. Running away will cause more problems in the long run, all things considered. Where will you go? What are you going to eat? How are you going to get money? What about protection from the bad weather?

I'm sorry your cousins are treating you like that. You said they're not supposed to be there, do you know why they are at your house, then? You shouldn't feel unsafe in your own home. I think you should talk to your grandmother about how your cousins are treating you.

In the meantime, I suggest creating a safe place. Here's an article on it. Do you have your own bedroom, or your own space at your house? Maybe you can make it a comfortable refuge to stay in when things become difficult. I also suggest combating the negative things your cousins say. Consider taking a sheet of paper, splitting it down the middle, and writing the things they say about you. Then, write out a positive response to those things on the other side.

Not wanting to go through with suicide is a good thing, even though you don't see it that way right now. It means that there's a part of you that still wants to live. Perhaps you don't want to die, but just want to escape the pain you're in. Consider making a safety plan and reaching out to others when you feel suicidal.

Hang in there.


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Re: Scared to be in my home - November 11th 2015, 09:41 PM

I went to guidance today and told my guidance counselor. She said that she's going to tell my case manager and see what the next step is going to be. I don't know if they're going to remove me from my home or not. I'm nervous though.
   
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Re: Scared to be in my home - November 12th 2015, 03:57 AM

It was probably hard for you to tell someone but I'm so proud of you for doing it! Feel free to keep us posted with everything.


Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
1941-2016

Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished
-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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