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-   -   Triggering: Picture exposed... is it worth reporting? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f13-rape-abuse/t141816-picture-exposed-worth-reporting/)

xcloudymindx November 17th 2015 03:53 PM

Picture exposed... is it worth reporting?
Storm - now ex
River - New guy

I recently got out of a abusive relationship with Storm (Random weird names) & things didn't go very well from there - I was with him 22 months, and he hurt me in emotional ways, mentally abusing me. So after all the damage... he only decides to cause more.

Basically towards the final "breaking up" I was finding interest in another guy River ( for about a month (friendly terms, with potential) and all has been great. He then asked to "date me" I told him I was in a complicated situation, and I was scared to. He respected that and assured me. (I didn't tell him about the on&off relationship I had going with Storm)

So finally when things ended with me and Storm. They were comments off my ex on Instagram that said compliments and one "Will you be my beautiful baby girl forever?xx"

He knew I was in two minds of ending the relationship and was like always trying to brainwash the 'affection' in to me like always. I had ignored his comments.

So River had seen these comments and had messaged Storm, telling him that I am his girlfriend and to back off (he had no idea storm was my ex)

So this kicked up some tension through messages: Then storm exposed a rude picture of me to River. I was absolutely horrified and broke down.

Knowing I had to see River in college - I felt like a disgusting cow. I was on the phone to River while this happened, although I had dropped my phone while I melted on my bed. He comforted me through the speaker, and I apologized. - He said it was okay, and that he wouldn't think any different of me. (He hasn't, and he hasn't mentioned any of it since).

But shortly I looked on my exes facebook where he had screenshotted the picture (including the rude one) and sent it to 4 more people. Some where his family and another my old ex boyfriend. I was so hurt and destroyed. I print screened them to my laptop. He then was screenshotting some information about my farther - its police information that got put in the papers, and I myself am not allowed to talk about it with anyone besides my mother, farther or the police - I can get done. So that was a heartache!

I know this is breaking the law, and he can in fact be reported. And I planned on getting him reported. Because for months he would blag and manipulate me for pictures - I hate the whole thing - and he wouldn't understand - I have all evidence of this, I tried getting help off his mum, but it was no use, he carried it all on. & I gave in after trying to resist all the crap he gave me for months on end - stupid I know. But he only went and betrayed my worse fears.

Now I don't know if it can be reported? it was only 1 picture. But I still feel anxious in case anyone who got that picture showed anyone else, or if he has any left of me. I also think its unfair that he gets away with this, he once sent a girl a picture of his dick and was asking her for pictures, during our relationship - but she confronted me over twitter and told me.

I was sexually harassed online for a year, before getting with him. I was made vulnerable and was manipulated, and had my feelings used - was also battling depression and I stopped caring about myself. I sent pictures back then. I hated it and hated myself. I spoke to a counsellor about it, and I could have reported him; only I got with storm who took it the wrong way and blamed me through out our relationship - he made me delete everything to do with that guy, and so he got away with it - which I regretted.

But I don't want storm having the impression just because I let one guy get away with it - I'm not gonna make that mistake. I just fear its a waste of police time, like I don't want it to seem like I'm doing this to get at him, I just want him to realize it's not a okay thing, and I'm scared in case it's been passed on further.

It was a week ago and I keep telling myself it doesn't matter, it's pointless, you have no standing chances. Another thing is, I'm scared I will get done for being on Storms facebook without his permission: But I was wary, and just paranoid and I was right to be - beacause he did what I imagined.

So I'm scared it will be used against me and I'll be in trouble?
And the pictures he sent, were screen shot's of the conversation with River, but still included that rude photo.

Can anybody please help me understand where is stand in this? I just can't get things to rattle straight in my brain - its just this constant mess of thoughts whirling and this whole paranoia and anxiety.

Has anyone been through this? what procedures do the police take? do they arrest them? do they just talk to them? Please anyone who know what happens?

Thankyou for reading such length!!!! <3<3<3

Ambedo. November 17th 2015 06:21 PM

Re: Picture exposed... is it worth reporting?
Hey there,

This is absolutely worth reporting. Posting or sending photos or videos of someone that were obviously meant to be private without their consent is a form of revenge porn and, in many US states, is becoming illegal and punishable by law. What Storm did to you is 100% not okay and actions need to be taken.

I did have something very similar happen to me a little over a year ago. I was in an abusive relationship and my ex sent photos of me to my family, my university, and posted it on Facebook. It was horrifying and, if I'm being completely honest, stopped me from going to school for a month and a half because I didn't want to face anybody. My mistake is the fact that I didn't say anything. I was given the option of filing a police report and opted out of it because, at the time, I was still very much in love with the person and didn't want anything to happen to them. Every day since I cut them out of my life, I wish I had gone to the police.

I'm not entirely sure what actions the police will take regarding this, especially if you're still a minor. That being said, it is completely worth reporting to the police. While it won't take back what Storm did to you, it will prevent him from doing it to anybody else out of jealousy, anger, etc. and will stop him from sending anything else of yours out if he is still in that mindset.

If you want to talk about this some more, I'm more than happy to chat. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Take care,

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