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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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? - December 5th 2015, 06:20 AM

Can a child sexually abuse another child?
   
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can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 5th 2015, 06:23 AM

this has been bugging me and I don't feel comfortable around my family enough to ask.
   
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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 5th 2015, 06:54 AM

It is possible for a child to sexually abuse another child. Here's a source: http://www.stopitnow.org/faq/can-chi...-another-child


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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 5th 2015, 12:43 PM

Yes, children (and young teenagers) can sexually abuse other children. It's very under reported but happens more often than people think. A lot of the time the child who is abusing, has actually been abused themselves and it can bring a lot of difficult feelings for both children involved.


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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 5th 2015, 09:59 PM

Thank you. I went through something in elementary school with one of my friends. She did certain things I am not comfortable talking about, but I was always confused.I do not know if it was sexual abuse of if I am overreacting.My parents know a little, but not the worst parts.All I know for sure is that she was raped by her uncle when she was 6.I haven't seen her in 4 years but I think about what happened all the time. I feel guilty and like it was my fault and I don't want to tell my parents.They will think I'm being a regular, over dramatic teenager.
   
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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 5th 2015, 10:07 PM

I read your reply to my question.Thank you for answering.I wrote another message if you're interested in reading it.I'm not really sure how to go about this.I'm too embarrassed to talk to my parents about it.The only reason I could ask on here is that no one knows me.Your answer helped me though.Thank you.
   
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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 6th 2015, 10:05 AM

Sorry to hear that it happened to you. It can be very confusing, I know. Sexual abuse is any unwanted touching (can also not be touching, but being made to talk sexually, or view sexual things) that you did not consent to. As a child, you can't consent anyway. Child on child sexual abuse, is different to 'normal' child development and exploration of their bodies because it means the child has knowledge of sexual activities that any other child wouldn't know unless they had been abused. Chances are, if you know that she was abused, and she did things that you aren't comfortable talking about, then it was child sexual abuse. You are not overreacting at all. For more information on rape and abuse in general, click here.

What happens next is up to you. It sounds like it still bothers you (which is completely understandable) and it's good that your parents were aware of some of it. You could try to talk to your parents about it, perhaps that it still bothers you and that it's more than what they know. They might ask you what actually happened, and I understand that you probably wouldn't want to talk about it. You could write it down, or just say that you don't feel comfortable talking about it in depth. I think it would really help you to talk to a counsellor, whether that's a counsellor from school or a referral from a doctor. Counsellors are trained to listen and support anyone in a difficult situation so that healing from it can happen.

How you feel about the person who did this to you, is normal and understandable. You don't have to do anything about the person if you don't want to. Since you haven't seen her in a while, you could carry on like you are, without her. You could report what happened to the police. Some people decide they want to confront their abuser to try to understand what happened more, or get an apology. Only do this if you feel safe enough. Alternatively, you could write her letters, but not send them. This way you are able to explore your feelings more towards her and what happened.

It is not your fault at all, and you don't need to carry the extra guilt around with you. Try putting the blame on the person who did this, or on her uncle, where the problem originated. This is not your fault at all.

It would be good if you could open up to your parents, or ask them for help to get counselling to allow you to move on. What you went through, isn't normal, so it would be unfair for your parents to think you are overreacting. However, if they do say that, it's probably more to do with them and their feelings than you. They might be in denial, because they might blame themselves that they didn't protect you, which they might not want to admit. If for any reason, they don't take you seriously, is there anyone else you could talk to? We have a list of other people that might be able to help you, here, and hotlines for rape and abuse, here.

It's really good that you opened up here, and anonymity definitely helps! Keep us updated, and hope you are ok


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Re: can a child sexually abuse another child? - December 7th 2015, 12:16 AM

Thank you.I have mentioned to my mother I have things I would like to someone outside of the family about.I ave written down what happened on several occasions. I understand it is not my fault, but how do I get myself to fully believe it? It has messed with more than one area of my life.My self esteem, my attitude towards feelings and affection, and when I see pictures of girls I feel weird.I am not sure what to do.
   
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Re: ? - December 7th 2015, 10:18 AM

I think it takes time to fully believe that it wasn't your fault. And perhaps any time you do think it was your fault, try to be gentle with yourself and remember that it wasn't. I know that it might not feel 'genuine' but over time, you will fully believe it.

Sexual abuse can definitely affect many areas of your life. Self esteem is commonly affected because of the power dynamic in abuse (the abuser is the one in control) and so the abuse itself can make you feel many different emotions like shame and unnecessary guilt, which will affect how you view yourself. If you have low self-esteem, try writing down 3 things that you like about yourself such as an aspect of your appearance you might like, or your personality, or any talents or qualities you might like, and read them everyday. Much like fully believing the abuse wasn't your fault, repeatedly telling yourself these things will help to increase your self esteem.

It's very understandable that your attitude towards feelings and affections will have changed since the abuse. I'm still struggling with this after something similar happened to me, but there is hope! With abuse in particular, we are taught to hide our feelings and this may cause us to act as if everything is ok, and can make it harder to relate to people as we build up walls to protect us from anymore hurt. What we have to realise is that not everyone is going to hurt us in that way, and that there are people out there that you can trust. Trust may take a long time to form, and that's ok, but you can help yourself by slowly getting to know people better and letting them get to know you more. Many people have difficult feelings towards affection after abuse, so the important thing here is to respect yourself and how you feel. It's ok to not want to be affectionate towards people, or receive their affection. But if you do want to be affection, again, it's best to take things slowly and only do what makes you feel comfortable. People should be understanding of this, maybe without even knowing that you were abused, but it can help by letting them know that you might not like touch so much without going into details.

What feelings do you have towards pictures of girls?

The issues that you have brought up would be interesting to explore with a counsellor. Have you tried talking to your mother a bit more about wanting help? Or could you see a school counsellor? Otherwise, you could try looking for online counselling. Some counsellors may offer private counselling over the phone or online, and will state their prices on their website (though be sure to check that their are certified), others may offer free counselling with trained (or sometimes untrained) volunteers. It sounds like this is the first time in exploring what happened to you, so it might also help if you could look into self-help books (I found them helpful). I'm not sure how many will be on child-child sexual abuse, but I'm very sure they will describe similar feelings to you and techniques to help you overcome your challenges.


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